New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[HairyHammer]

"A young man from the Dutch Antilles Enjoyed wearing his sisters frillies Going out he was brash And made some good cash Doing tricks for kinky old willy's. To give a big kick to the Arse Tomorrow we just cannot pass,"

[Saul Bollox]

"This country has gone to the dogs And no one will cut me some logs, The you of today It's no work and all play Or selling their arses round bogs. A young man from the Dutch Antilles Enjoyed wearing his sister's frillies"

[Mike Oxsaw]

The whiff of corruption pervades Now the revenue's planning some raids But they'll warn first their mates Who use off-shore states To practise their selfish evades. This country has gone to the dogs And no one will cut me some logs

[Helmut Shown]

"So much for sharing austerity, Tax avoidance, the Cameron prosperity He says he paid tax So we all should relax What absolute bare faced temerity The whiff of corruption pervades Now the revenue's planning some raids"

[Saul Bollox]

"There was a young man from Tooting Involved in a bad drive by shooting, This violent young turd, Got nicked and did bird. He's out now, but needed executing. So much for sharing austerity, Tax avoidance, the Cameron prosperity"

[Helmut Shown]

"There was a young lady from Ongar, Who while swimming was raped by a conger She must have been pissed 'Twas her boyfriend's fist And with his arm it was six inches longer There was a young man from Tooting Involved in a bad drive by shooting"

[Saul Bollox]

"A bloke on here likes to brag 'Bout where he's been on a stag But infected his cock, In Bialystok From a tryst with a Polish old bag. There was a young lady from Ongar, Who while swimming was raped by a conger"

[,]

There was a young lady from Tring Shaving the hair round her ring No longer engaged She was enraged that she could not remove the thing A bloke on here likes to brag 'Bout where he's been on a stag

[Saul Bollox]

"Next time to West Ham you come You can stick that red card up your bum Cover it with grease, Then open your crease, And ask for some help from your Mum. There was a young lady from Tring, Was shaving the hair round her ring"

[Helmut Shown]

I feel that it really must be said I don't think we've seen our last false Red With Clattenburg and Taylor The system's a failure And it keeps the big teams ahead Next time to West Ham you come You can stick that red card up your bum

[Far East Hammer]

"Oh Twattenburg our games you have marred' Up your arse you can shove your Red card, Rescinded. Be done You cսnt had your fun Now your reputation's tarred I feel that it really must be said I don't think we've seen our last false Red"

[HairyHammer]

"It's said 'twas an honour for the king, To be able to kiss the popes ring But it smelt horrid one day, Which made the king grey So the catholic religion he did fling. Oh Twattenburg our games you have marred' Up your arse you can shove your Red card,"

[Saul Bollox]

"Whilst out with my kids, choosing toys They started to make lots of noise, I gave a loud shout, And gave them a clout, And returned them to their usual poise. It's said 'twas an honour for a king, To be able to kiss the Popes ring"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"There was a young man called Eddie, Was wanking and cuddling his teddy. And then he would stare At his very bare bear And call out ""I'm coming....get ready!!!"" Whilst out with my kids, choosing toys They started to make lots of noise"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"There was a young man called Eddie, Was wanking and cuddling his teddy. And then he would stare At his very bare bear And call out ""I'm coming....get ready!!!"" Whilst out with my kids, choosing toys They started to make lots of noise"

[Saul Bollox]

"A lady was taking a dump When into the cubicle walked Trump, He came to drop a log, Into the ladies' bog, She screamed and gave him a clump. There was a young man called Eddie, Was wanking and cuddling his teddy."

[HairyHammer]

"Will we get bad decisions galore When we finally reach the top four? It could take some time The Ref's are such slime It's all in the name, like manure. A lady was taking a dump When into the cubicle walked Trump,"

[Saul Bollox]

"Young Clattenburg's done It again That pillock I cant comprehend, The bloke has some front He is one fucking cսnt, Not a bloke I would like to befriend. Will we get bad decisions galore. When we' finally reach the top four?"

[HairyHammer]

"In my fantasy that Betty Gable Was shitting on a glass coffee table, I stared with some fear As she beckoned me near, But the smell made me sick and unable. Young Clattenburg's done It again That pillock I cant comprehend,"

[Saul Bollox]

"A sunny day, though it's still cold It must mean I'm getting quite old. But you can not presume, That it's all doom and gloom Cos my stiffies are still uncontrolled. In my fantasy that Betty Grable, Was shitting on a glass coffee table"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"I was looking at a porno link. Black chicks on white dicks, I think. But I do have to say I enjoyed, in a way Going into the brown off the pink. A sunny day, though it's still cold It must mean I'm getting quite old"

[Saul Bollox]

"Life can be such a blooming bore But not when West ham score, But while we're competing Our joy is so fleeting, Unless we can score a few more. I was looking at a porno link. Black chicks on white dicks, I think."

[HairyHammer]

"Today is in fact April fools When people behave like tools Oh shit its too late No its 11 58 But for telling a fib I'm too cool. Life can be such a blooming bore But not when West ham score,"

[Son of Sam]

"I just choked out a big turd, When I looked at, oh my word! Not brown , black or blue But a very strange hue Resembled somewhat lemon curd Today is in fact April fools When people behave just like tools"

[Saul Bollox]

"I just choked out a big turd, When I looked at IT, oh my word!"