New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[arsene york-hunt]

"A galley slave, oar in the rowlocks Gave a prayer to Castor and Pollux, Did not think one bit, It was a load of shit, Put about by shamen and warlocks. I'm sick to the teeth of this VAR, The game it has started to mar."

[Helmut Shown]

"Moyesball and VAR. I've had enough. My season ticket they can stuff. His substitutions are pony The man is a phoney When challenged he's off in a huff A galley slave, oar in the rowlocks Gave a prayer to Castor and Pollux"

[arsene york-hunt]

"A hooker was down on her luck She threw herself under a truck. But because she was pissed, When she jumped she missed, And loudly exclaimed: ""Ohe dear."" ** **Sorry, couldn't think of a rhyme. Moyesball and VAR. I've had enough. My season ticket they can stuff."

[Mike Oxsaw]

"Stupid? Blind? Or bent What's the next ref will we be sent The media jive About the ""Big 5"" Ensures that our progress they dent A hooker was down on her luck She threw herself under a truck."

[Helmut Shown]

Her thrupennies and lovely mince pies Were causing his hampton to rise She looked at his stiffy But it smelled pretty whiffy Showering would have been wise Stupid? Blind? Or bent What's the next ref will we be sent

[arsene york-hunt]

"Her name was Gerda, she's Dutch On the internet flashing her crotch, She'd suck on your prick, For a schimmelpenick, Her tits though, they weren;t too much Her thrupinnies and lovely mince pies Were causing his Hamptin to rise"

[Helmut Shown]

"He took out his micro-penis, Just after he'd had his first kiss He decided to show her Asking ""Is it a grower?"" He replied "" only use it to piss"" Her name was Gerda, she's Dutch On the internet flashing her crotch"

[arsene york-hunt]

"Whilst riding the number 6 bus, A lady created a fuss, Sitting there proudly She farted so loudly, The stink made everybody cuss. He took out his micro-penis, Just after he'd had his first kiss,"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"There was a bloke from near Flitwick, Walked round with a priapic dick For a big wad of cash He'd give you a flash And do it hands free- quite a trick. Whilst riding the number 6 bus, A lady created a fuss"

[arsene york-hunt]

"There once was a man called O’Grady Put his hand up the skirt of a lady, It caused her to cringe As he fondled her minge, His conduct I thought, rather shady. There was a bloke from near Flitwick, Walked round with a priapic dick"

[Helmut Shown]

"We're are heading for a new dark age, With blasphemy laws all the rage. Their childlike belief Causes much of the grief But it gives priests and mullahs a wage There once was a man called O’Grady Put his hand up the skirt of a lady"

[arsene york-hunt]

"The train I am on is well late With passengers in quite a state. It was ever thus, So don't make a fuss, Just look upon it as your fate, We're are heading for a new dark age, With blasphemy laws all the rage."

[Mike Oxsaw]

There was an old man from Beirut Spent his day as pissed as a newt But he had a plan: During Ramadan He'd do so whilst dressed in a suit. The train I am on is well late With passengers in quite a state.

[Helmut Shown]

A young man who recently came out Was arrested for buggering a scout While out bob-a-jobbing The lad got a knobbing His guilt was never in doubt There was an old man from Beirut Spent his day as pissed as a newt

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

There was a young lady from Poole Would swallow while sucking a tool The semen would coat The back of her throat And leak from her mouth in her drool A young man who recently came out Was arrested for buggering a scout

[Helmut Shown]

A deviant chap from Southall Liked watching the schoolgirls netball One glimpse of knicker Left him holding his ticker His knees gave as he started to fall There was a young lady from Poole Would swallow while sucking a tool

[arsene york-hunt]

"Southgate must have only one brain cell When he decided to pick Ben Chilwell, No buts and no ifs, England?, boring stiffs, Without Hammers they can go to hell. A deviant chap from Southall Liked watching the schoolgirls netball"

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

It's nice to see springtime is back I'm off for a back sac and crack It'll certainly get chilly Round my balls and my willy As a result of the hair that I'll lack Southgate must have only one brain cell When he decided to pick Ben Chilwell

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A customer got very lippy. To the bloke who worked in the chippy. I said ""No saveloy"" ""You stupid young boy!"" ""Remove it at once, fuckin' hippy!"" It's nice to see springtime is back I'm off for a back sac and crack."

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A customer got very lippy. To the bloke who worked in the chippy. I said ""No saveloy"" ""You stupid young boy!"" ""Remove it at once, fuckin' hippy!"" It's nice to see springtime is back I'm off for a back sac and crack."

[arsene york-hunt]

"As she bent down when out in the garden He felt his old chap start to harden, The bulge of his tackle, Made the old dear cackle, He blushed and said ""I beg your pardon."" A customer got very lippy. To the bloke who worked in the chippy."

[arsene york-hunt]

"As she bent down when out in the garden He felt his old chap start to harden, The bulge of his tackle, Made the old dear cackle, He blushed and said ""I beg your pardon."" A customer got very lippy. To the bloke who worked in the chippy."

[Helmut Shown]

A most unfortunate case of the piles Were suffered by my great uncle Giles Hanging down to his knees In winter they'd freeze And played havoc when crossing stiles As she bent down when out in the garden He felt his old chap start to harden

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

"At Easter, a Santa appeared, And most of us thought it quite weird The kids didn’t think it funny They were expecting a bunny So attacked him and pulled off his beard A most unfortunate case of the piles Were suffered by my great uncle Giles"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"Political threads on this site, Consist of blokes talking much shite Like flies round a turd, ALL want the last word, Convinced that plain FACT proves them right. At Easter, a Santa appeared, And most of us thought it quite weird"