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New Limerick Thread

Posted: 30 Aug 2014, 19:44
by les marteaux
Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 19 Mar 2016, 19:01
by Helmut Shown
"John Terry to be very blunt, Is a dirty and odious cսnt. He's always bleating When he's not cheating And a member of the National Front That cheating cսnt Fabregas Earned a red card but alas"

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 19 Mar 2016, 19:01
by Helmut Shown
"John Terry to be very blunt, Is a dirty and odious cսnt. He's always bleating When he's not cheating And a member of the National Front That cheating cսnt Fabregas Earned a red card but alas"

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 19 Mar 2016, 18:44
by Saul Bollox
"thought we were on a ROLL Said a hammers fan cheering a goal, Then he said oh eff, When robbed by the ref, Who from us a great win he stole. John Terry to be very blunt, Is a dirty and odious cսnt."

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 19 Mar 2016, 17:37
by HairyHammer
"A sailor who went on a trip Threw up as he boarded the ship, He felt truly queer The truth was my dear He'd have all the seamen to grip. I thought we were on a role Said a hammers fan cheering a goal,"

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 19 Mar 2016, 15:11
by Jethro Q Walrustitty
"Tarquin a nouveau Chelsea fan, In the toilets picked up a young man He knew how to pull 'em From Cottaging in Fulham And strange bars in Afghanistan A sailor who went on a trip Threw up as he boarded the ship"

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 19 Mar 2016, 15:06
by les marteaux
"Some workmen have dug up my road, Right outside my drum, my abode I woke up to the trills Of their pneumatic drills And I think my head now will explode. Tarquin a nouveau Chelsea fan, In the toilets picked up a young man."

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 19 Mar 2016, 14:07
by Mike Oxsaw
"Turning over those fucking rent boys, Would be one of lifetime's great joys. But, win, lose or draw, We all know the score; Our fans will be making some NOISE!!! Some workmen have dug up my road, Right outside my drum, my abode."

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 19 Mar 2016, 13:58
by Saul Bollox
"She wouldn't release her strong grip It had gone bright purple at the tip Her behaviour was fear, The end of her life near The captain had said ""Abandon ship!^ Turning over those fucking rent boys, Would be one of lifetime's great joys."

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 19 Mar 2016, 10:18
by Helmut Shown
"There was a smirking Russian so rich In the night he would occasionally twitch, He awoke with a shock She'd bitten his cock The fucking high maintenance bitch She wouldn't release her strong grip It had gone bright purple at the tip"

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 19 Mar 2016, 02:49
by HairyHammer
"There was a young man from Caerphilly Did something most people thought silly He pulled out his knob Started cleaning the hob Mother quipped with a glance,""Must be chilly"". There was a smirking Russian so rich In the night he would occasionally twitch,"

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 19 Mar 2016, 02:25
by HairyHammer
"On the ferry from Calais to Dover I saw a fat lady bent over, She did a big fart Which made a man dart, Slamming into her arse, she fell over. IDS went to sleep with a conscience Woke up the next day screaming nonsense,"

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 19 Mar 2016, 02:24
by Saul Bollox
"On the ferry from Calais to Dover I saw a fat lady bent over Two blokes in cloth caps, Clearly saw her flaps And one passed out when it was over. There was a young man from Caerphilly Did something most people thought silly"

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 18 Mar 2016, 17:43
by cosmo smallpiece
"I once took a bus to the sea I like a good holiday, me. With me sarnies and flask What more could you ask Then I had fish and chips for me tea. On the ferry from Calais to Dover I saw a fat lady bent over"

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 18 Mar 2016, 15:50
by Mike Oxsaw
"When i once undressed Diana Dors She'd an unpleasant stain on her drawers It looked like old cum And she couldn't keep mum: It was, she proclaimed, Roger Moore's I once took a bus to the sea I like a good holiday, me."

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 16 Mar 2016, 18:13
by Saul Bollox
"At last it is Cheltenham week Where gamblers, Nirvana they seek Races over the jumps,, They put on big lumps, But for most the outlook is bleak. When i once undressed Diana Dors She'd an unpleasant stain on her drawers"

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 16 Mar 2016, 14:03
by Son of Sam
"An Anthropophagic, Mc Phee, Sat down one evening for his tea. He thought leg or breast And what to do with the rest He decided on cutlet of knee At last it is Cheltenham week Where gamblers, Nirvana they seek"

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 16 Mar 2016, 13:20
by Saul Bollox
"Saw his daughter doing bukkake Thought it a quite strange malarkey, It cause quit a din, When he asked ti join in, She asked if he was being sarky An Anthropophagic, Mc Phee, Sat down one evening for his tea."

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 16 Mar 2016, 03:51
by Far East Hammer
"There was a young lad who had a dream Awoke with his bed covered in cream, Too many quakes He had the shakes Looked around and let out a scream Saw his daughter doing bukkake Thought it a quite strange malarkey"

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 16 Mar 2016, 02:17
by HairyHammer
"There once was a young Buddhist monk Who each night his biscuits would dunk, When his Lama walked in Barked ""What a Terrible sin"", ""Give me every last biscuit, you punk"". There was a young lad who had a dream Awoke with his bed covered in cream,"

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 16 Mar 2016, 02:17
by HairyHammer
"There once was a young Buddhist monk Who each night his biscuits would dunk, When his Lama walked in Barked ""What a Terrible sin"", ""Give me every last biscuit, you punk"". There was a young lad who had a dream Awoke with his bed covered in cream,"

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 15 Mar 2016, 13:42
by Saul Bollox
"There was this young Libyan Addicted to her sybian, Herself she's debased Since it was purchased Online from the Caribbean. There once was a young Buddhist monk, Who each night his biscuits would dunk."

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 15 Mar 2016, 03:18
by Far East Hammer
"""We can take any cսnt in the Prem,"" In his team talk Slav said to them. ""And not just a draw"" ""They're a bloody bore"" Sam never understood that gem There was this young Libyan Addicted to her sybian"

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 14 Mar 2016, 18:50
by Saul Bollox
"""To be or not to be"". Said a cowboy having a pee, Is it nobler in the mind To cut off bacon rind Or leave on in my sandwich for tea. ""We can take any cսnt in the Prem,"" In his team talk Slav said to them."

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 14 Mar 2016, 18:27
by HairyHammer
"TV football ""expert"" Paul Scholes When on TV I grab the controls, I violently shake The manure loving snake Were he here, I'd shove them in his holes. ""To be or not to be"". Said a cowboy having a pee,"

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 14 Mar 2016, 13:55
by Saul Bollox
"My wife recently did flip At dinner I let one rip, It made her very sick, Threw up her spotted dick, But I passed it off with a quip. TV football ""expert"" Paul Scholes. When on TV I grab the controls,"