New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Saul Bollox]

"This cup run is doing me in It's like I'm committing a sin, The fourbees are out, With joy I now shout, My emotions are all in a spin. With movement and skill quite sublime, The ball hit the net for the fifth time."

[Mike Oxsaw]

"Dimitri dazzles wih his skill. It makes the poor oppos feel ill. To add to your holes, Here, have these five goals. Now. FUCK OFF, there's trouble at mill. This cup run is doing me in It's like I'm committing a sin"

[Saul Bollox]

"I sat down my woman and said ""You're really not good in the bed"" ""In our intercourse grapple, Don't be eating and apple And don't fart while you're giving head"". Dimitri dazzles wih his skill. It makes the poor oppos feel ill."

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A butterfly in Greenwich park Landed on the head of a fatty named Mark, But he smelt like pig slurry So left in a hurry And eaten up quick by a lark. I sat down my woman and said ""You're really not good in the bed"""

[HairyHammer]

"There was an Etonian Toff Lay in bed jerking himself off, His lover smoking grass Shoved a finger up his Arse ""Use a fist he squealed, make it rough"". A butterfly in Greenwich park Landed on the head of a fatty named Mark,"

[Saul Bollox]

"A young girl, just fresh out of school Did break the most cardinal rule She went on a spree, With a tory MP, And played with his bollocks and tool. There was an Etonian Toff Lay in bed jerking himself off."

[Mike Oxsaw]

"Against all the decency laws She lifted her skirt, dropped her drawers The foul smell from her minge Made the villagers cringe And close all their windows & doors. A young girl, just fresh out of school Did break the most cardinal rule"

[Helmut Shown]

"Cameron's got himself in the shit, Vote leave, and he'll have to quit. He'll get a rocket As he's in Murdoch's pocket Who'll now take the bribe from this git Against all the decency laws She lifted her skirt, dropped her drawers"

[Saul Bollox]

"A man threw a Doner at a Turk Who caught it and then gave a smirk, He looked at the bloke, And these words he spoke: ""I eat this one later at work."" Cameron's got himself in the shit, Vote leave, and he'll have to quit."

[HairyHammer]

"An Ursusagalmatophile Was in Hamleys for quite a while, An erection ensued When a teddy he viewed, He envisioned blew a kiss and a smile. A man threw a Doner at a Turk Who caught it and then gave a smirk,"

[Saul Bollox]

"'Twas a young lady named Nancy Enjoyed nude cromniomancy In her vegetable garden Gives neighbour's a hard on. Not much of a future, I fancy. An Ursusagalmatophile Was in Hamleys for quite a while"

[Far East Hammer]

This weekend. For me. DIY. Rewiring my house on the fly Becomes a fuck up As the fuse box goes zap So I should have used a sparky 'Twas a young lady named Nancy Enjoyed nude cromniomancy

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A man who awoke to a tune Twas a dog softly Howling at the moon, Then a swiftly aimed boot Caused the canine to scoot Peace came not a moment too soon. This weekend. For me. DIY. Rewiring my house on the fly"

[HairyHammer]

"Hairy Hammer said to Far East, We should get these to rhyme at least I have the skill of a bard You must listen really hard Or I will hit you over the head with my beast. A man who awoke to a tune Twas a dog softly Howling at the moon,"

[Saul Bollox]

"A man who was so very thick Yet was blessed with a very big dick, To a girl gave a shake, But she thought it a snake And hit it with a very large stick. Hairy Hammer said to Far East, We should get these to rhyme at least."

[HairyHammer]

"In Lapland a santa claus elf, Was abed and wanking himself When he noticed the boss Having a cheeky toss Coming over the toys on the shelf. A man who was so very thick Yet was blessed with a very big dick,"

[Saul Bollox]

"The crotch of his jeans round his knees A sight that was not meant to p!ease His cap back to front This Jafaican cսnt. Was covered in lice and in fleas. In Lapland a santa claus elf, Was abed and wanking himself"

[Helmut Shown]

"A fat cat started to sweat When at the front door stood his vet, ""No if ands or buts You're losing your nuts Clawing the drapes you'll now regret"" The crotch of his jeans round his knees A sight that was not meant to p!ease"

[HairyHammer]

"My girlfriend kept asking for more I couldn't keep up that's for sure, So I bought her a toy Made her come like a boy So she left me and became a big whore. A fat cat started to sweat When at the front door stood his vet,"

[HairyHammer]

"A young man who went to Dubai, Was arrested for eating pork pie They gave him 100 lashes Stuffed his arse full of Hashish Saying ""English, you go prison for life"". A fat cat started to sweat When at the front door he noticed his vet,"

[HairyHammer]

"A young man who went to Dubai, Was arrested for eating pork pie They gave him 100 lashes Stuffed his arse full of Hashish Saying ""English, you go prison for life"". A fat cat started to sweat When at the front door he noticed his vet,"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A young man who went to Dubai, Was arrested for eating pork pie. ""We don't do that here"" ""Plus...we're all really queer"". ""For that you must leave us. Goodbye."" My girlfriend kept asking for more I couldn't keep up, that's for sure"

[Saul Bollox]

"Oh why cant we all just be friends Said a spud to a Hammer from East end. ""Be freinds with you, I'd rather eat poo, My loathing you can't comprehend. A young man who went to Dubai, Was arrested for eating pork pie."

[HairyHammer]

"A politically correct thumbs up to our wonderful Chairmen, who are anything but tight."

[HairyHammer]

"The hatred for spurs on this site, In my eyes it is only right, They all smell like skunks Bloody Horrible C**'s, And famously they're all bloody tight. Oh why cant we all just be friends Said a Spud to a Hammer from East end."