Page 244 of 361
New Limerick Thread
Posted: 30 Aug 2014, 19:44
by les marteaux
Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 01 Feb 2016, 20:44
by Mike Oxsaw
"A Muslim on a North London street Knelt and bowed at a racist man's feet, ""Oh! Imam explain"" ""How I can best claim"" ""Those benefits week after week"" The mosque has closed down for the day I've nowhere to go now to pray"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 01 Feb 2016, 18:20
by HairyHammer
"A young lad who ain't a Jamaican Was speaking in fluent Jafaikan As white as a sheet Extensions touching his feet, But his curried chicken could not be mistaken. A Muslim on a North London street Knelt and bowed at a racist man's feet,"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 01 Feb 2016, 15:30
by Saul Bollox
"Some bimbo has moved in down the road I think she is talking in code ""Like"" 4 times each sentence, Very little makes sense, With brains she has not been bestowed. A young lad who aint a Jamaican Was speaking in fluent Jafaikan"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 01 Feb 2016, 14:56
by Mike Oxsaw
"A researcher asked a question quite vile, Who's your favourite celeb paedophile, If it HAS to be said. I think someone dead, Or who hasn't been seen for a while. Some bimbo has moved in down the road I think she is talking in code"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 01 Feb 2016, 10:59
by Saul Bollox
"All these celeb deaths leave me vexed Why can't Katie Hopkins be next? To keep up with this crap I've bought a new app. When the next one dies I'll get a text.. A researcher asked a question quite vile, Who's your favourite celeb paedaophile,"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 01 Feb 2016, 10:39
by Far East Hammer
John Terry says he won't retire But who will buy a pariah? A publicity stunt For some right dodgy cսnt Though it would likely backfire All these celeb deaths leave me vexed Why can't Katie Hopkins be next?
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 01 Feb 2016, 00:23
by Helmut Shown
"A man threw a plate at a mouse, It missed and hit his poor spouse, Sporting a black eye She pushed his face in a pie And then kicked him out of the house John Terry says he won't retire But who will buy a pariah?"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 01 Feb 2016, 00:15
by HairyHammer
"A fat girl, a very good swimmer, Tried without success to get slimmer. Food made her so happy Though sex was more snappy So she combined them, and became a fat sinner. A man threw a plate at a mouse, It missed and hit his poor spouse,"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 31 Jan 2016, 22:52
by Saul Bollox
"A little man from Blackburn Could cover his face with a gurn, And then he'd get rough, While licking out muff, To complaints that his stubble did burn. A fat girl, a very good swimmer, Tried without success to get slimmer"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 31 Jan 2016, 20:09
by HairyHammer
"There was a young man called Dave, Who found a dead whore in a cave, His Erection was strong But her fanny what a pong So he washed it, and gave her a Shave. A little man from Blackburn Could cover his face with a gurn,"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 31 Jan 2016, 19:52
by Saul Bollox
"A dove from Arizona Flew to London to taste some Corona, She flew into a park To pick up a lark. But was raped by a crow with a boner. Some of the above may contain biological inaccuracies. There was a young man called Dave. Who found a dead whore in a cave,"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 31 Jan 2016, 19:39
by HairyHammer
Sorry Saul my eyes are obviously Shite.
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 31 Jan 2016, 19:34
by HairyHammer
"There was a young boy from Leeds stayed in bed all day smoking his weeds. Lazy and paranoid His brain such a void That his parents wished he were on speed. A dove from Arizona Flew to London to taste some Corona,"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 31 Jan 2016, 19:14
by HairyHammer
"A young girl did rent out her gash To gentlemen paying in cash Gash was her toy bear Most gentlemen would despair Though confused, teddy's back door they still smashed. Some Americans are so awfully Southern Where time stands still, and nothing is Modern"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 31 Jan 2016, 16:36
by Saul Bollox
"A young girl did rent out her gash To gentlemen paying in cash, To further her cause, She worked without pause, Excepting to have a quick slash. There was a young boy from Leeds Stayed in bed all day smoking his weeds."
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 31 Jan 2016, 16:18
by Mike Oxsaw
"A Tottenham supporter called Solly. Pushed a stolen supermarket trolley. Down to the scrap yard And, though he tried hard, He couldn't exchange it for lolly. A young girl did rent out her gash To gentlemen paying in cash"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 31 Jan 2016, 16:03
by Saul Bollox
"It's not easy being from Liverpool, As my accent can sound phlegmy and cruel Curly hair and moustache, And those shell suits so gash Being a scouse is really uncool. A Tottenham supporter called Solly. Pushed a stolen supermarket trolley."
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 30 Jan 2016, 17:56
by HairyHammer
"If I were Invisible Id zoom To the girls netball changing room But I'm ugly and fat And far too old for that In reality had I dared, Id be doomed. It's not easy being from Liverpool, As my accent can sound phlegmy and cruel"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 30 Jan 2016, 17:18
by Saul Bollox
"That Angelique Kerber is so cute, And Just like the sweetest of fruit. I'd put her on all fours, And rip of her drawers. And give her a bloody good root. If I were invisible I'd zoom To the girls netball changing room"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 30 Jan 2016, 16:10
by HairyHammer
"A rickshaw wallah from bombay, Picked up a prostitute one day. She had almond shaped eyes, And her butt was a prize, But to his shock, she was a man who was gay. That Angelique Kerber is so cute, And Just like the sweetest of fruits."
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 30 Jan 2016, 15:20
by Saul Bollox
"The lunch I just had was delightful And the documentary on TV was Insightful, Then I watched that Eastenders, It's for women and benders Which I have to conclude was just frightful. A rickshaw wallah from Bombay, Picked up a prostitute one day."
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 30 Jan 2016, 15:20
by Saul Bollox
"The lunch I just had was delightful And the documentary on TV was Insightful, Then I watched that Eastenders, It's for women and benders Which I have to conclude was just frightful. A rickshaw wallah from Bombay, Picked up a prostitute one day."
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 30 Jan 2016, 15:10
by HairyHammer
To see the game Live on TV. Sorry.
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 30 Jan 2016, 15:09
by HairyHammer
"To see the game on TV, Iv'e had to sign up to BT, It was a bit of a chore Hoping we at least get a draw Or ill turn that BT box to debris. The lunch I just had was delightful And the documentary on TV was Insightful,"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 30 Jan 2016, 14:26
by Saul Bollox
Homo Obscenus Ha ha ha ha ha! Brilliant