Page 249 of 361

New Limerick Thread

Posted: 30 Aug 2014, 19:44
by les marteaux
Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 09 Jan 2016, 16:29
by Saul Bollox
"When I take my wife for a drink I wonder ""Just what does she think?"" When up at the bar Orders an advocaat, But when sitting down Champagne (pink). A young man from Liechtenstein, Stole knickers from next door's clothes line."

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 09 Jan 2016, 16:29
by Saul Bollox
"When I take my wife for a drink I wonder ""Just what does she think?"" When up at the bar Orders an advocaat, But when sitting down Champagne (pink). A young man from Liechtenstein, Stole knickers from next door's clothes line."

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 09 Jan 2016, 16:02
by Mike Oxsaw
"Did you hear of Betsy from Pike Broke her hymen while riding a bike The lack of a saddle Did rupture her twaddle It would have been safer to hike. When I take my wife for a drink I wonder ""Just what does she think?"""

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 09 Jan 2016, 15:43
by Saul Bollox
Wolves today will get their come-uppance Their players are barely worth thruppence We look very sound To go inthe next round Unless of course there's a fuckuppance. Thanks for that Livingstone. Did you hear of Betsy from Pike Broke her hymen while riding a bike

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 09 Jan 2016, 15:43
by Saul Bollox
Wolves today will get their come-uppance Their players are barely worth thruppence We look very sound To go inthe next round Unless of course there's a fuckuppance. Thanks for that Livingstone. Did you hear of Betsy from Pike Broke her hymen while riding a bike

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 09 Jan 2016, 15:43
by Saul Bollox
Wolves today will get their come-uppance Their players are barely worth thruppence We look very sound To go inthe next round Unless of course there's a fuckuppance. Thanks for that Livingstone. Did you hear of Betsy from Pike Broke her hymen while riding a bike

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 09 Jan 2016, 13:05
by Livingstone
"A DJ, whilst spinning some wax Turned up his sound system to max Ear drums did pop And birds started to drop Twas even heard in Tibet by some yaks Wolves today will get their come-uppance Their players are barely worth thruppence"

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 09 Jan 2016, 07:58
by Mike Oxsaw
"There once was an old kitchen porter Arrested for shagging his daughter. He laid all the blame On the Vicar of Thame For using some unholy water A DJ, whilst spinning some wax Turned up his sound system to max"

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 09 Jan 2016, 01:11
by Saul Bollox
"Fucking dead pigs still seems sinister Especially if you're the prime minister Peados,and perverts, And men wearing skirts It's what one expects in Westminister* *Deliberate spelling mistake because fuck all else rhymes. There once was an old kitchen porter Arrested for shagging his daughter."

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 09 Jan 2016, 00:50
by Helmut Shown
"She always added a surcharge, For punters whose cocks were too large She made some big bucks Administering fucks To a bloke with a cock like a barge Fucking dead pigs still seems sinister Especially if you're the prime minister"

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 09 Jan 2016, 00:50
by Helmut Shown
"She always added a surcharge, For punters whose cocks were too large She made some big bucks Administering fucks To a bloke with a cock like a barge Fucking dead pigs still seems sinister Especially if you're the prime minister"

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 08 Jan 2016, 21:34
by Saul Bollox
"A young Scottish girl from Leith Had a very bad rash underneath Caused by sexual sin. Picked up when workin', In a brothel in Cowdenbeith. She always added a surcharge, For punters whose cocks were too large"

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 08 Jan 2016, 21:34
by Saul Bollox
"A young Scottish girl from Leith Had a very bad rash underneath Caused by sexual sin. Picked up when workin', In a brothel in Cowdenbeith. She always added a surcharge, For punters whose cocks were too large"

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 08 Jan 2016, 20:50
by Helmut Shown
"A Muslim from Timbuktu Had a terrible addiction to glue They cut off his hands And reproductive glands No more Bostick, no wanking too A young Scottish girl from Leith Had a very bad rash underneath"

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 08 Jan 2016, 18:36
by HairyHammer
"In the window, please no bids For anyone who plays for the yids They will charge us too much For a player who'll need a crutch Within two games he'll be falling to bits. A Muslim from Timbuktu Had a terrible addiction to glue"

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 08 Jan 2016, 17:16
by Helmut Shown
"An Aussie bloke heard something funny While choking one off in the dunny. Out jumped a redback As the turd left his crack The trajectory right on the money In the window, please no bids For anyone who plays for the yids"

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 08 Jan 2016, 17:16
by Helmut Shown
"An Aussie bloke heard something funny While choking one off in the dunny. Out jumped a redback As the turd left his crack The trajectory right on the money In the window, please no bids For anyone who plays for the yids"

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 08 Jan 2016, 15:34
by Saul Bollox
"Cunnilingus I was to start When my girlfriend let out a fart, It stunk out the place And went right in my face As her legs were fully apart. An Aussie bloke heard something funny While choking one of in the dunny."

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 08 Jan 2016, 08:49
by Far East Hammer
"Two factory workers from Cork, Were eating their soup with a fork. For 'twas quite lumpy Which made them grumpy Seems the chef was a bit of a dork Cunnilingus I was to start When my girlfriend let out a fart"

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 07 Jan 2016, 19:38
by Saul Bollox
"My girlfriend is here in the nude She wants me to do something rude. So I thought, apace,, If I shit on her face, She might think that a little too crude. Two factory workers from Cork, Were eating their soup with a fork."

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 07 Jan 2016, 19:38
by Saul Bollox
"My girlfriend is here in the nude She wants me to do something rude. So I thought, apace,, If I shit on her face, She might think that a little too crude. Two factory workers from Cork, Were eating their soup with a fork."

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 07 Jan 2016, 18:21
by Mike Oxsaw
"There once was a young girl called Grace, Who liked men to piss on her face But as for their cum, Liked that up her bum All liquids belong in their place. My girlfriend is here in the nude She wants me to do something rude"

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 07 Jan 2016, 18:21
by Mike Oxsaw
"There once was a young girl called Grace, Who liked men to piss on her face But as for their cum, Liked that up her bum All liquids belong in their place. My girlfriend is here in the nude She wants me to do something rude"

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 07 Jan 2016, 14:03
by Saul Bollox
"Oops cute escort got me in a fix Turns out she's a dominatrix A lash or a clout, Readily dished out But no penetration of pricks. There once was a young girl called Grace, Who liked men to piss on her face"

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 07 Jan 2016, 14:02
by Saul Bollox
"A cute escort got me in a fix Turns out she's a dominatrix A lash or a clout are Readily dished out But no penetration of pricks. There once was a young girl called Grace, Who liked men to piss on her face"