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New Limerick Thread
Posted: 30 Aug 2014, 19:44
by les marteaux
Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 07 Jan 2016, 05:55
by Far East Hammer
There once was a confused tramp Wandered into a nudist camp. Some clean shaven quim Quite affected him Leaving his crotch area quite damp A cute escort got me in a fix Turns out she's a dominatrix
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 06 Jan 2016, 17:56
by joe blob
"I fancied a big bowl of jelly After seeing an ad on the telly. So I put up my feet, To indulge in this treat While listening to songs by George Melly. There once was a confused tramp Wandered into a nudist camp."
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 06 Jan 2016, 16:35
by Mike Oxsaw
I left a bad smell of poo After farting and following through But new Fairy Snow Made all shit stains go My pants & strides look like brand new. I fancied a big bowl of jelly After seeing an ad on the telly
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 06 Jan 2016, 16:25
by Helmut Shown
A bloke I know lost all his sense And has double incontinence Left in his skyscraper Sat on newspaper Off to Dignitas two weeks hence I left a bad smell of poo After farting and following through
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 06 Jan 2016, 14:52
by joe blob
"I fancy a big slice of cake But lack the ingred'ents to make So I'm off to Tesco To buy a gateau, Of which I shall gladly partake. A bloke I know lost all his sense And has double incontinence."
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 06 Jan 2016, 06:40
by Mike Oxsaw
"Old Corbyn is shuffling his pack, But Diane Abbott is watching his back To avoid further slurs She's better on hers So Jezza can empty his sac I fancy a big slice of cake But lack the ingred'ents to make"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 05 Jan 2016, 22:40
by monkfish9
"The two limericks preceding, Both great, just,what this thread was needing, But try as I might, This one's just shite And I don't know where it is leading. Old Corbyn is shuffling his pack, But Diane Abbott is watching his back"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 05 Jan 2016, 20:27
by joe blob
Nb: The ones by Helmut and Mike.
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 05 Jan 2016, 20:26
by joe blob
"An anti alcohol activist When breathalysed, found to be pissed It was not the last jar That made him crash his car, But driving having one off the wrist. The two limericks preceding, Both great, just,what this thread was needing"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 05 Jan 2016, 20:26
by joe blob
"An anti alcohol activist When breathalysed, found to be pissed It was not the last jar That made him crash his car, But driving having one off the wrist. The two limericks preceding, Both great, just,what this thread was needing"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 05 Jan 2016, 19:44
by Helmut Shown
"A gardener trimming his hedge Did place his best shears on a ledge When he was found They'd fallen to the ground And cut off his meat and two veg An anti alcohol activist When breathalysed, found to be pissed"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 05 Jan 2016, 19:31
by Mike Oxsaw
"There once was an Indian chappie, After getting pissed felt quite crappy After gallons of beer He proposed to a queer. The wedding went well - they've both happy. A gardener trimming his hedge Did place his best shears on a ledge"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 05 Jan 2016, 17:34
by Saul Bollox
"A dog saw a man on a horse And barked with a loud angry force, The rider, a toff, Promptly jumped off, And forced on the dog rough intercourse. There once was an Indian chappie, After getting pissed felt quite crappy"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 05 Jan 2016, 16:25
by HairyHammer
When she had men over on Sundays She'd open the door in her undies Though few looked away Even the shy ones would stay Thinking ill rip em off with my teeth or my handies. A dog saw a man on a horse And barked with a loud angry force
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 05 Jan 2016, 15:44
by Helmut Shown
A young German man called Fritz Was applying wax under his pits. When she went in to touch The hairs on his crutch It scared him right out of his wits When she had men over on Sundays She'd open the door in her undies
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 05 Jan 2016, 14:36
by Saul Bollox
"The EU is falling apart And that is a bloody good start I don't like to be, In market not free Or to pay in Euros for a tart.. A young German man called Fritz Was applying wax under his pits."
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 05 Jan 2016, 10:37
by Mike Oxsaw
"FACT!, old Rafa hes back on the dole A knowledgeable footballing soul. This funny old game Will not be the same Another thick chairman's own goal. The EU is falling apart And that is a bloody good start"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 05 Jan 2016, 10:24
by Livingstone
And Sauls unfinished one There is something wrong with my computer I think Im gonna have to reboot her My knobs wiped the screen And to browse I am keen Looks like Ill just have to shoot her
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 05 Jan 2016, 10:24
by Livingstone
And Sauls unfinished one There is something wrong with my computer I think Im gonna have to reboot her My knobs wiped the screen And to browse I am keen Looks like Ill just have to shoot her
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 05 Jan 2016, 10:20
by Livingstone
"An old man caused quite a bit of fuss After taking Viagra on the bus His incompetance pants burst And to make matters worse Caused a flood of stale urine and puss FACT!, old Rafa hes back on the dole A knowledgeable footballing soul"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 05 Jan 2016, 10:14
by Far East Hammer
"A munufacturer of confection, In his office had quite an erection It seems adding Viagra To his new chocolate bar Was misfired experimentation An old man caused quite a bit of fuss After taking Viagra on the bus"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 01 Jan 2016, 21:03
by Saul Bollox
"After sitting and passing a motion His arse was in need of some lotion To apply, asked his wife Which led to much strife, in fact it was quite a commotion. A munufacturer of confection, In his office had quite an erection"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 01 Jan 2016, 21:03
by Saul Bollox
"After sitting and passing a motion His arse was in need of some lotion To apply, asked his wife Which led to much strife, in fact it was quite a commotion. A munufacturer of confection, In his office had quite an erection"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 01 Jan 2016, 19:50
by Helmut Shown
"While strolling one day in Hyde Park, He took out his knob for a lark. Despite his great keenness His very small penis Was not very visible in the dark After sitting and passing a motion His arse was in need of some lotion"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 01 Jan 2016, 17:02
by Saul Bollox
There something wrong with my computer.