New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Helmut Shown]

Will we soon see the back Of our belov'd Lucas Paq But here's the rub He may need a new club If the FFP probe is on track There was a young man from Torquay Liked a shower of young women's pee

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

"With the ball at his feet our Mo, Through defences he don't arf go That goal that he scored Put the Krauts to the sword And delivered the final deathblow Will we soon see the back Of our belov'd Lucas Paq"

[arsene york-hunt]

"I just fear we might be losin' After the first leg in Leverkusen, But the mood we're in, We could get a big win, Leading to cheering and boozin'. With the ball at his feet our Mo, Through defences he don't arf go"

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

"A shoplifter, on a good day Can take a whole chicken away Her illicit catch she hides in her snatch But I think that's only hearsay I just fear we might be losin' After the first leg in Leverkusen"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"There was young girl called Milly, Worked most nights in Picadilly. But what you don't know: She goes commando, Which leaves her poontang rather chilly. A shoplifter, on a good day Can take a whole chicken away."

[arsene york-hunt]

"A musician from Hilversum In a band would play the bass drum, Then into his ca, To visit he gay bar, For his needs he'd pay a small sum. There was young girl called Milly, Worked most nights in Picadilly"

[Helmut Shown]

"He manfully fondled her tits, Then pounded her fanny to bits Then more skullduggery He tried on some buggery In turn, that gave her the shits A musician from Hilversum In a band would play the bass drum"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"She preferred to use a machine Than manually flicking her bean The result was, of course Much more girly sauce And layers of bedding to clean. He manfully fondled her tits, Then pounded her fanny to bits."

[Helmut Shown]

"Another match with the sausage eaters A team that are hardly world beaters Moyes tactics are cack And he won't attack ""Resign!"" Say all of the tweeters She preferred to use a machine Than manually flicking her bean"

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

His wife’s out he couldn’t resist Watching porn having one off the wrist He'd tickle his ball with a feather To add to the pleasure And violate his arse with his fist Another match with the sausage eaters A team that are hardly world beaters

[Helmut Shown]

So! Biden & Trump fight again We know what is coming...and when. Both so infirm They won’t last the full term Perhaps someone younger then? His wife’s out he couldn’t resist Watching porn having one off the wrist

[Helmut Shown]

So! Biden & Trump fight again We know what is coming...and when. Both so infirm They won’t last the full term Perhaps someone younger then? His wife’s out he couldn’t resist Watching porn having one off the wrist

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A painter, a bit of a cock Was that fucking Jackson Pollock. The privileged louse Could not paint a house His art is like shit in a crock. So! Biden & Trump fight again We know what is coming...and when."

[arsene york-hunt]

"In that Inferno painting of Danté's There are ladies who don't wear their panties, But the painting you see, Was by Botticelli, Using working girls from the shanties. A painter, a bit of a cock Was that fucking Jackson Pollock"

[Helmut Shown]

"No need to get some shut-eye, If on Batik Air you do fly Are the engines roaring? Or are both pilots snoring? Will you get there or fall from the sky? In that Inferno painting of Danté's There are ladies who don't wear their panties"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"After another shit show The twat really must go If we judge by his past, He'll cling to the mast In the hope of obtaining more dough. No need to get some shut-eye, If on Batik Air you do fly"

[Helmut Shown]

"There was a young lady called Dora, Had long flaps on her labia minora Tge hair on her pussy Was thick, really bushy And soft like a fluffy angora After another shit show The twat really must go"

[arsene york-hunt]

"He was standing at the bar in a pub Whilst giving his helmet a rub, It's a signal, you see, Used in freemasonry, To show you belong to their club. There was a young lady called Dora, Had long flaps on her labia minora"

[Helmut Shown]

"A pleasing feeling when I pee, Farting simultaneously As I shake off a drip Again I let rip Releasing brown shit debris He was standing at the bar in a pub Whilst giving his helmet a rub"

[northbanker]

"An thick Irishman called Pat Most people thought him a prat, With his low IQ, Smelling of do do, He did not wipe his arse when he shat. A pleasing feeling when I pee, Farting simultaneously"

[Helmut Shown]

"If West Ham, the club, want to grow Then the manager now has to go. The playing style - dire He's a boredom supplier His football just fills me with woe An thick Irishman called Pat Most people thought him a prat"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"The team doesn't play to its potential A new manager is now essential. But, it's known as a fact The dwarf can't attract The right man, and that's fucking mental. If West Ham, the club, want to grow Then the manager now has to go."

[Helmut Shown]

Our team's arseholes were pursed Ripe for a meaty bratwurst Moyes is to blame That they stole the game We're fucked if we don't score first The team doesn't play to its potential A new manager is now essential

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

A carpenter sawing a plank Decided he wanted a wank He tickled his glans With sawdusty hands When he came it was really quite rank Our team's arseholes were pursed Ripe for a meaty bratwurst

[Mike Oxsaw]

"There was a young girl from Cheshunt, Who publicly would flash her cսnt. But one thing is certain: The display of beef curtain Made the people who saw it all grunt. A carpenter sawing a plank Decided he wanted a wank."