Page 252 of 361
New Limerick Thread
Posted: 30 Aug 2014, 19:44
by les marteaux
Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 30 Dec 2015, 13:56
by Saul Bollox
"I hate Christmas and New Year games We normally are shot down in flames, This time of good cheer, And far to much beer And I think my gout it inflames. A young French man from Drancy, Dreamt of cunnilingus with Beyoncé"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 30 Dec 2015, 13:56
by Saul Bollox
"I hate Christmas and New Year games We normally are shot down in flames, This time of good cheer, And far to much beer And I think my gout it inflames. A young French man from Drancy, Dreamt of cunnilingus with Beyoncé"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 30 Dec 2015, 13:56
by Saul Bollox
"I hate Christmas and New Year games We normally are shot down in flames, This time of good cheer, And far to much beer And I think my gout it inflames. A young French man from Drancy, Dreamt of cunnilingus with Beyoncé"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 29 Dec 2015, 13:00
by Helmut Shown
A little man of three foot or so Had a wife who refused to suck his toe. All covered in soot With athletes foot She didn't like stooping that low I hate Christmas and New Year games We normally are shot down in flames
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 29 Dec 2015, 07:22
by HairyHammer
"At the big sound stage in the sky Philthy saw Lemmy and said hi Lemmy thought, i'm off my head Is Philthy not dead If I've joined him, lets Ace it one more time. A little man of three foot or so Had a wife who refused to suck his toe."
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 29 Dec 2015, 03:57
by Far East Hammer
"A hypochondRiac from Pratts Bottom, Name the illnesses and he'd got 'em Each day he'd recite a verse To his GP's quite cute nurse Asking in vain for her to check his scrotum At the big sound stage in the sky Philthy saw Lemmy and said ""hi!"""
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 28 Dec 2015, 14:59
by Saul Bollox
"The north gets a few drops of rain And the buggers are moaning again, Some inundation, And they whine to the nation i think they should really refrain. A hypochondiac from Pratts Bottom, Name the illnesses and he'd got 'em"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 28 Dec 2015, 14:54
by Saul Bollox
"She was sophisticated, elegant,petite But she squatted for a piss in the street It drew quite a crowd For her toilet was loud And her pussy itself rather neat The north gets a few drops of rain And the buggers are moaning again"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 27 Dec 2015, 22:11
by Mike Oxsaw
"She was sophisticated, elegant,petite But she squatted for a piss in the street It drew quite a crowd For her toilet was loud And her pussy itself rather neat The north gets a few drops of rain And the buggers are moaning again"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 27 Dec 2015, 19:16
by Helmut Shown
"A polish man named Janek Booked a trip on the Titanic. A cabin for two Dipping the poo With his boyfriend Mike the mechanic She was sophisticated, elegant,petite But she squatted for a piss in the street"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 27 Dec 2015, 19:16
by Helmut Shown
"A polish man named Janek Booked a trip on the Titanic. A cabin for two Dipping the poo With his boyfriend Mike the mechanic She was sophisticated, elegant,petite But she squatted for a piss in the street"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 24 Dec 2015, 15:44
by Saul Bollox
"A sex pest who came from Glencoe Was served with a six month Asbo This perverted Jock Once took out his cock, Whilst playing on his piccolo. A polish man named Janek Booked a trip on the Titanic."
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 24 Dec 2015, 13:56
by Helmut Shown
This Poor man could not get an erection So he decided to stop the pretension He was far too skint To buy a penile splint But a Smartie tube stood it to attention A sex pest who came from Glencoe Was served with a six month Asbo
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 24 Dec 2015, 13:47
by HairyHammer
A man in a Toyota Yaris Was crawling the kerbs in paris He saw a cute whore As his penis did sore Shouting how much is a shag in your aris This Poor man could not get an erection So he decided to stop the pretension
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 24 Dec 2015, 13:13
by Saul Bollox
"A one-legged man from the Wirral Was caught having sex with a squirrel, He was known as peg After losing his leg in a bad skiing fall in the Tyrol. A man in a Toyota Yaris, Was crawling the kerbs in Paris"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 24 Dec 2015, 10:03
by Mike Oxsaw
There once was a fellow called Dex Had a penchant for rough anal sex. He'd rip off the drawers Of old pikey whores Then pay them with traveller's cheques. A one-legged man from the Wirral Was caught having sex with a squirrel
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 24 Dec 2015, 01:48
by Saul Bollox
"An ugly lady from Brighton had a face on her that would frighten Caused by the sensation Of bad constipation, Which was causing her muscles to tighten. There once was a fellow called Dex Had a penchant for rough anal sex."
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 24 Dec 2015, 01:06
by ,
The was a young lady called Claire Who was shaving her pubic hair she thought nothing would phase her till she slipped with the razor then wore a look of despair An ugly lady from Brighton had a face on her that would frighten
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 23 Dec 2015, 23:07
by Helmut Shown
There once was a lady called Mabel. Whose sex games were the stuff of fable She'd open her flower To give golden shower And followed by laying a cable The was a young lady called Claire Who was shaving her pubic hair
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 23 Dec 2015, 20:53
by Saul Bollox
"A thrice married girl from Ukraine Found penetrative sex a pain, But lingual stimulation, Gave her a great sensation Again and again and again. There once was a lady called Mabel. Whose sex games were the stuff of fable."
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 23 Dec 2015, 17:18
by Saul Bollox
"Whilst baling his hay for the winter The farmer's lad got a big splinter So his missus called Bet, Took him to see the vet, A cousin of that Alan Minter. There once was a lady called Mabel. Whose sex games were the stuff of fable."
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 23 Dec 2015, 17:16
by Helmut Shown
"Whilst baling his hay for the winter The farmer's lad got a big splinter He cried to his mum ""What's stuck up my bum"" ""You've got a wood chip in your sphincter"" A thrice married girl from Ukraine Found penetrative sex a pain"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 23 Dec 2015, 15:58
by Mike Oxsaw
"There was a young girl from Mauritius, Who tended to be quite capricious. She'd nosh off five men, Then do it again, Proclaiming their Jism delicious. Whilst baling his hay for the winter The farmer's lad got a big splinter"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 23 Dec 2015, 14:16
by Saul Bollox
"She said to him ""Like it or lump it"" As she puckered up to play her trumpet So he took out his knob, Said: ""Get this in your gob."" But, to his surprise, she did thump it. There was a young girl from Mauritius, Who tended to be quite capricious."
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 23 Dec 2015, 13:50
by Helmut Shown
"This fat lady I saw did a fart As her husband choked eating a tart Their nuptials they had After meeting though an ad That they read in Exchange and Mart She said to him ""Like it or lump it"" As she puckered up to play her trumpet"