New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Helmut Shown]

"I went out last night for a kebab, And picked up a bird in a niqab. I felt such a fool, A transvestite , Abdul I dropped him with a left jab There was a young man from Caracas Had a large boil on his knackers"

[Saul Bollox]

to fester

[Saul Bollox]

"There was a young man from Colchester For sex his girlfriend would pester, She tried a blow job He'd just a lazy lob, Then he got up and left her fester. I went out last night for a kebab, And picked up a bird in a niqab."

[Helmut Shown]

"A girl into nude trampolining Claimed it was not at all demeaning Til one day her granny Saw the lips of her fanny Disgusted she said ""it wants cleaning"" There was a young man from Colchester For sex his girlfriend would pester"

[Far East Hammer]

"A flukel, a corner and a gift, 3- 0 down and cast adrift It's such a pain Drives me insane Leaving me feeling quite miffed A girl into nude trampolining Claimed it was not at all demeaning"

[Saul Bollox]

"Motd was on tv last night But id rather lose my sight, Why watch that shit I could do without it, The match on our team was a blight. A flukel, a corner and a gift, 3- 0 down and cast adrift"

[Helmut Shown]

"Motd was on tv last night But id rather lose my sight These tactical nitpickers All Levy arselickers Talking a great deal of shite Preparing to,get on the job She noticed a wart on his knob"

[Helmut Shown]

"Motd was on tv last night But id rather lose my sight These tactical nitpickers All Levy arselickers Talking a great deal of shite Preparing to,get on the job She noticed a wart on his knob"

[HairyHammer]

He always felt shagging was best When he was wearing his string vest But if truth be told his todger was old And could barely stand up to the test Motd was on tv last night But id rather lose my sight

[Far East Hammer]

The display today was so poor Even allowed that cսnt Walker to score West Ham's so up and down I often wear a frown But at least no Dudley dinosaur He always felt shagging was best When he was wearing his string vest

[Helmut Shown]

"There was a young man from Kentucky, Went to a brothel feeling lucky. At an open door Stood a young Thai whore Saying ""Me give you Sucky Sucky"" The display today was so poor Even allowed that cսnt Walker to score"

[joe blob]

"A young girl from Surrey Docks Had long shiny golden locks She is good to her mum, Has a really nice bum, And her favourite flower is flox. There was a young man from Kentucky, Went to a brothel feeling lucky."

[Helmut Shown]

An idle young man from Vancouver Once sucked himself off with a Hoover The blood ran from his head And they thought he was dead But revived him with the Heimlich manoeuvre A young girl from Surrey Docks Had long shiny golden locks

[joe blob]

A young man from Winnipeg Felt something running down his leg A bloke he was besides Had pissed on his strides. It was the piss drunk David Clegg. An idle young man from Vancouver Once sucked himself off with a hoover.

[Helmut Shown]

"Last night while stroking his boner, She saw warts on his glans corona The young Swedish whore Should have charged him much more At least another fifty kroner A young man from Winnipeg Felt something running down his leg"

[Saul Bollox]

"That James Martin the chef on TV Used a whisk for stirring his tea This arrogant fool Then took out his tool, That he uses for stirring puree. Last night while stroking his boner, She saw warts on his glans corona"

[Helmut Shown]

"A civil servant called de Villier, Was known for his paedophilia He progressed, I gather When he fucked a cadaver And added to his sins necrophilia That James Martin the chef on TV Used a whisk for stirring his tea"

[joe blob]

"My doctor the filthy old swine Said ""put your clothing on the bench, next to mine"" He thought he'd be exempt As he made an attempt. For my body and his to entwine. A civil servant called de Villier, Was known for his paedophillia."

[Helmut Shown]

"There once was a man called Hunt Put on his trousers back to front The Secretary of State Went out on a date With his bum boy out in a punt My doctor the filthy old swine Said ""put your clothing on the bench, next to mine"""

[joe blob]

"In her garden serene and calm She placed Bhuddas and burnt lemon balm The scent of jasmine, Gently wafted in When she dropped a loud, Oh what charm! There once was a man called Hunt Put on his trousers back to front."

[Helmut Shown]

There was a young lass from Dudley Was quite pretty and well cuddley In a car park in Brum She got a wet bum As the ground was soaked and puddly In her garden serene and calm She placed Bhuddas and burnt lemon balm

[Far East Hammer]

"Emperor Haile Salassie, Got a blow job from Shirley Bassey Well in naughty mode He blew his great load Leaving his throne quite messy There was a young lass from Dudley Was quite pretty and well cuddley"

[Saul Bollox]

"There was an old man from Crewe Stepped into a large doggy do He slipped onto his arse On the shit sodden grass, Got up and went home for a brew. Emperor Haile Salassie, Got a blow job from Shirley Bassey"

[Helmut Shown]

"It is said actor Lee J Cobb Was endowed with a very large knob Women would double check, It was like Kojak in a polo neck They'd stand there with an open gob There was an old man from Crewe Stepped into a large doggy do"

[Saul Bollox]

"Aussie fast bowler Peter Siddle Bought all his clothing from Lidl While feilding at slip, Off the field he did nip As he was desperate for a piddle. It is said actor Lee J Cobb Was endowed with a very large knob"