New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[arsene york-hunt]

"So Swift and that twat Galloway Are the true headline news of today... Some cultural uplift, Talk of Jonathan Swift, A great satirist in his day. An athlete, a long distance runner, It was said, he was a rear gunner"

[Mike Oxsaw]

There once was a girl from Sutton Liked a tongue in her bellybutton. Was as far as you'd go For the stench from below Was that of some well rotted mutton. So Swift and that twat Galloway Are the true headline news of today...

[Helmut Shown]

Rhymes about girls dropping their drawers And then getting down on all fours It’s a sign of the times That there are these coarse rhymes Especially when talking of whores There once was a girl from Sutton Liked a tongue in her bellybutton

[Helmut Shown]

Rhymes about girls dropping their drawers And then getting down on all fours It’s a sign of the times That there are these coarse rhymes Especially when talking of whores There once was a girl from Sutton Liked a tongue in her bellybutton

[Helmut Shown]

Rhymes about girls dropping their drawers And then getting down on all fours It’s a sign of the times That there are these coarse rhymes Especially when talking of whores There once was a girl from Sutton Liked a tongue in her bellybutton

[arsene york-hunt]

"oops fucked up again A old paedo vicar from Kew Fiddled choirboys behind the last pew, One of my pet gripes Are these stereotypes, On here there's been more than a few."

[arsene york-hunt]

"A old paedo vicar from Kew Fiddled choirboys behind the last pew, One of my pet gripes Are these stereotypes, There's been more than a few on here. Rhymes about girls dropping their drawers And then getting down on all fours"

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

"An Indian man called Kush, Went for a shit in a bush I dislike these times When there's so few rhymes So I'll have to end this with a shhhh! A old paedo vicar from Kew Fiddled choirboys behind the last pew"

[arsene york-hunt]

"One thing that now makes me cringe Is a bird with a thick hairy minge I must say say I care For a good mass of hair As long as it's black and not ginge. An Indian man called Kush, Went for a shit in a bush"

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

An Australian man from Melbourne Walked around with a permanent horn The despicable creep Was partial to sheep Especially those that were shorn one thing that now makes me cringe Is a bird with a thick hairy minge

[Helmut Shown]

"An imbecile, a Talksport caller, Referred to a player as ""....a 'baller'"" Americanised shit From a fucking halfwit Talksport, for the minds that are smaller An Australian man from Melbourne Walked around with a permanent horn"

[arsene york-hunt]

"A lady who came from Wood Green With a ping pong ball was obscene, With her muff was able, To pick tips off the table And with farts could play God Save the Queen. An imbecile, a Talksport caller, Referred to a player as ""....a 'baller'"""

[arsene york-hunt]

"A lady who came from Wood Green With a ping pong ball was obscene, With her muff was able, To pick tips off the table And with farts could play God Save the Queen. An imbecile, a Talksport caller, Referred to a player as ""....a 'baller'"""

[Helmut Shown]

"The bridesmaid looked pretty in pink, I'm sure that she gave me a wink. Alas on the rag I couldn’t get a shag So I gave her one up the stink A lady who came from Wood Green With a ping pong ball was obscene"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"In the Times obituary page They all seem to die at my age While those in The Sun Are still having fun. No future in being a sage. The bridesmaid looked pretty in pink, I'm sure that she gave me a wink."

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

There once was a toff called Frank Chairman of a leading bank When he was at Eton He was regularly beaten And the head boy would give him a wank In the Times obituary page They all seem to die at my age

[arsene york-hunt]

"My wife said, ""Now, just for a laugh"" ""Why don't we have sex in the bath?"" She farted, bubbles rose, Right under my nose, It smelt like a rotting giraffe. There once was a toff called Frank Chairman of a leading bank"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"There was a young girl from Beccles Whose bottom was covered in freckles. Now. Hold on a bit, That's flakes of dried of shit, This last line is where I say ""Speckles."" My wife said, ""Now, just for a laugh"" ""Why don't we have sex in the bath?"""

[Helmut Shown]

"It was in Burger King that I met 'er, But her blow jobs couldn't be better It doesn’t always follow She’s a slut and would swallow She insisted I wear a French letter There was a young girl from Beccles Whose bottom was covered in freckles"

[arsene york-hunt]

"It was in Burger King that I met 'er, But her blow jobs couldn't be better"

[arsene york-hunt]

"The chancellor, one Mr. Hunt Thinks tax cuts are well worth a punt But we'll still have to pay Millions of quid each day, The illegals? We'll still bear the brunt"

[arsene york-hunt]

"Last Saturday night I got lucky With a dirty old slag from Kentucky This alluring minger When serving my Zinger, Asked ""Would you rike fucky fucky."" It was in Burger King that I met 'er, But her blow jobs couldn't be better"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"Last Saturday night I got lucky With a dirty old slag from Kentucky And in Arkansas She worked as a whore It's 25 cents Fucky-Fucky. The chancellor, one Mr. Hunt Thinks tax cuts are well worth a punt"

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

"I'm reaching out to stay in touch, And tell you the tale of my crutch Is the crutch we are talking The one used for walking Or the one by your balls and such Last Saturday night I got lucky With a dirty old slag from Kentucky"

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

"I'm reaching out to stay in touch, And tell you the tale of my crutch Is the crutch we are talking The one used for walking Or the one by your balls and such Last Saturday night I got lucky With a dirty old slag from Kentucky"