New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Saul Bollox]

"A tachyon tried hard to be good Then acted like he never should, Theoretic physics, Is beyond us dicks, I'm off for some mash and steak pud. There was a young girl from Kilkenny Of boyfriends she didn't have many."

[Joke Whole]

"On his first date he took out his knob And politely asked for a blow job She didn't decline, Her action was fine Until she demanded ten bob. A tachyon tried hard to be good Then acted like he never should"

[Saul Bollox]

"In a tree lived a couple of owls Having problems today, with their bowels, A man sat beneath, Soon came to grief. And had to wipe it off with some towels On his first date he took out his knob And politely asked for a blow job"

[Helmut Shown]

"Oh bollocks late again The farmers young daughter called Kate Had a romp in the barn with her mate The young farmer's boy Sat acting real coy In the hopes of getting a plate In a tree lived a couple of owls Having problems today, with their bowels"

[Helmut Shown]

"I was walking alone on Box Hill When I decided to take a pill the very large fees For a couple of E's I'd expect not to feel so ill In a tree lived a couple of owls Having problems today, with their bowels"

[Monk~koknee]

I was walking alone on Box Hill When I decided to take a pill The resultant erection Was rigid perfection To the surprise of a rambler called Jill The farmers young daughter called Kate Had a romp in the barn with her mate

[Saul Bollox]

"An accident whilst using my shears In my garden brought me to tears, A sharp stabbing pain A shout quite profane As I'd cut off one of my ears. I was walking alone on Box Hill When I decided to take a pill"

[Far East Hammer]

An actor who was all the rage Once forgot his lines on the stage He hadn't a clue Attracted a boo And since has tried to turn a new page An accident whilst using my shears In my garden brought me to tears

[Saul Bollox]

"Her mate who came from Nepal Liked hung men about six foot tall, For men not so large She'd make a small charge But big blokes, it would cost them fuck all. An actor who was all the rage Once forgot his lines on the stage"

[Helmut Shown]

"There was a young girl from Tibet, Dropped em for any man she could get Her little front bum Was dripping with cum From at least five men I'd bet Her mate who came from Nepal Liked hung men about six foot tall"

[joe blob]

"2002 The headmistress summoned me to her room Seems she was simply eager to groom But I was kept waiting As she was masturbating With a greased up handle of a broom. There was a young girl from Tibet, Dropped em for any man she could get"

[Far East Hammer]

There was a young lady called Fabia Had a gold ring attached to her labia That wasn't the thing That got folk talking But you'd never seen pubes crabbier The headmistress summoned me to her room Seems she was simply eager to groom

[Helmut Shown]

He found Saga holidays as dirty As those from Club Eighteen-to-Thirty Bony old fingers And toothless cunnilingus From a spritely old chap called Bertie There was a young lady called Fabia Had a gold ring attached to her labia

[Far East Hammer]

After getting quite drunk at the bar We escorted a dwarf to his car Was pissed as a newt With sick down his suit Needless to say he didn't drive far He found Saga holidays as dirty As those from Club Eighteen-to-Thirty

[cosmo smallpiece]

There was a young lady called Gabs Who passed to her men sherbert dabs. ''Twas the least she could do For she already knew That tomorrow they'd wake up with crabs After getting quite drunk at the bar We escorted a dwarf to his car

[cosmo smallpiece]

There was a young lady called Gabs Who passed to her men sherbert dabs. ''Twas the least she could do For she already knew That tomorrow they'd wake up with crabs After getting quite drunk at the bar We escorted a dwarf to his car

[Saul Bollox]

Why doesn't WHO run a poll On guessing Fat Sam's next role Most think it would seem it's some shit northern team And don't think he'll end up on the dole. There was a young lady called Gabs Who passed to her men sherbert dabs.

[Helmut Shown]

"A lady I know called Elaine, Gave sex for monetary gain This dirty old brass Would take it up the arse But at all times would never complain Why doesn't WHO run a poll On guessing Fat Sam's next role"

[Saul Bollox]

"I wonder if it's a true story That Harriett Harman's a Tory She once gave me head, In a three in a bed, But that is a quite different story. A lady I know called Elaine, Gave sex for monetary gain"

[Far East Hammer]

There was a young man called Bob Who had smegma all round his knob A sight not to be seen Been ages since a clean Let alone since a blow job I wonder if it's a true story That Harriett Harman's a Tory

[Saul Bollox]

"Doesn't it really feel nice Now we've got rid of Allardyce To be very blunt, He's a fucking fat cսnt As a manager, a load of Schei√üe. There was a young man called Bob Who had smegma all round his knob"

[Helmut Shown]

"There was a young girl from Clapham, Whose buttocks men just like to slap 'em All covered in sores She'd pull up her drawers And the she would promptly crap 'em Doesn't it really feel nice Now we've got rid of Allardyce"

[Saul Bollox]

"A girl had a nasty habit When using her Rampant Rabbit When needing it quick, Like in heavy traffic From the glove compartment she'd grab it.. There was a young girl from Clapham, Whose buttocks men just like to slap 'em."

[Helmut Shown]

"Bailing out the Bubbles again, This country on Europe's a drain Their control seems lax On who should pay tax From spending they must now refrain A girl had a nasty habit When using her Rampant Rabbit"

[Saul Bollox]

"As she walked down the street clutching shopping From under her skirt I saw popping An old shopping bag Concealing her swag A custodial term she'll be copping. Bailing out the Bubbles again, This country on Europe's a drain"