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New Limerick Thread
Posted: 30 Aug 2014, 19:44
by les marteaux
Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 10 Jul 2015, 20:39
by les marteaux
"A man from the Ivory Coast Had a very long penis, he'd boast This unusual dong Though ten inches long, It's girth was three inches at most. A young man from Newark on Trent Had a penis incredibly bent"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 10 Jul 2015, 18:37
by Helmut Shown
"On a flight from London City A man groped the attendant's tittie She's an obvious flirt He had his hand up her skirt Now has a hand in the kitty A man from the Ivory Coast Had a very long penis, he'd boast"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 10 Jul 2015, 12:25
by Saul Bollox
"A serial killer from Bude Left his victims all bloody and nude After the mutilation He'd feel exultation, Singing songs that were vulgar and crude. On a flight from London City A man groped the attendant's tittie"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 10 Jul 2015, 12:01
by Monk~koknee
"A young man from near Pontefract, Was not known for his charm or his tact I’m Yorkshire and proud He’d bellow out loud His manner quite matter of fact A serial killer from Bude Left his victims all bloody and nude"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 10 Jul 2015, 11:48
by Saul Bollox
"Piercings are fashionable these days But I'm not taken in by the craze I am somewhat dejected My Prince Albert's infected, Thankfully it's the wife's menstrual phase. A young man from near Pontefract, Was not known for his charm or his tact"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 10 Jul 2015, 11:19
by Far East Hammer
"I think it really is dumb To have tattoos on your cock or bum Three letters on your frontside Old Testament on backside Highlights smallness and largeness, by gum! Piercings are fashionable these days But I'm not taken in by the craze"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 10 Jul 2015, 09:35
by Helmut Shown
"It is said the Archbishop of Crete, Had a fetish for young lady's feet He'd fondle tenderly From toe tip to knee And spend all night beating his meat I think it really is dumb To have tattoos on your cock or bum"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 10 Jul 2015, 09:35
by Helmut Shown
"It is said the Archbishop of Crete, Had a fetish for young lady's feet He'd fondle tenderly From toe tip to knee And spend all night beating his meat I think it really is dumb To have tattoos on your cock or bum"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 09 Jul 2015, 17:05
by Saul Bollox
"The disturbing rumours I hear Involve a hamster and Richard Gere According to this tale, This hamster's a male I suspected that fucker was queer. It is said the Archbishop of Crete, Had a fetish for young lady's feet"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 09 Jul 2015, 12:03
by Helmut Shown
"The song writer Burt Bacharach, Was a legend, they say, in the sack Whether doing cunnilingus Or using his fingers Though they say he liked coming round the back The disturbing rumours I hear Involve a hamster and Richard Gere"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 09 Jul 2015, 10:08
by Saul Bollox
"With my secretary from work Today in the storeroom we shirk, When she showed me her fanny The stench was uncanny It sent my head back with a jerk. The song writer Burt Bacharach, Was a legend, they say, in the sack."
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 09 Jul 2015, 06:47
by Far East Hammer
A chap from Dundee name of Kirk Was known to go totally beserk He'd eat anything but Cake that comes without nut Down the road in Perth they called him a berk With my secretary from work Today in the storeroom we shirk
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 09 Jul 2015, 04:16
by Monk~koknee
Now the yids think their stadium's dapper Too bad it resembles a crapper Simply no class If the club were a brass It'd be 50p blow jobbing slapper A chap from Dundee name of Kirk Was known to go totally beserk
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 09 Jul 2015, 03:51
by cosmo smallpiece
"A young man from Tyne and Wear, West to Stratford to study Shakespeare. But he found it too hard Understanding the bard Much ado about nothing i fear Now the yids think their stadium's dapper Too bad it resembles a crapper"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 08 Jul 2015, 22:11
by Saul Bollox
"A barmaid from Tunbridge Wells On Sunday would ring the church bells. The thing she likes best, And made her happiest Was when ringing out the death knells. A young man from Tyne and Wear, West to Stratford to study Shakespeare."
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 08 Jul 2015, 16:16
by Helmut Shown
"A young man from Bethnal Green, Lost his dick working on a machine With just a little hole Oft' missed the toilet bowl And his trousers would need a dry clean A barmaid from Tunbridge Wells On Sunday would ring the church bells"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 08 Jul 2015, 15:48
by Saul Bollox
"It's still only fucking Wednesday in my bed I'd much rather stay Next to me in my bunk Lies a nude, handsome hunk Sometimes it's great to be gay. A young man from Bethnal Green, Lost his dick working on a machine"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 08 Jul 2015, 07:46
by Far East Hammer
"There was a young man from Crick Who, whenever he was feeling sick. Found a topless hand shandy As a cure was quite handy So he'd book online then whip out his dick It's still only fucking Wednesday in my bed I'd much rather stay"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 08 Jul 2015, 00:55
by Saul Bollox
"On his head he wore a long rag And draped in an Isis flag On his face a long beard, And he thought he'd be feared As septics say, a right douche bag. There was a young man from Crick Who, whenever he was feeling sick."
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 07 Jul 2015, 22:21
by Helmut Shown
"Castor had once said to Pollux, Buying soap, how much is it for Lux Or how would you feel If I bought Knights Castile I can get ten for three or four bucks You don't get me like that Saul! On his head he wore a long rag And draped in an Isis flag"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 07 Jul 2015, 21:11
by Saul Bollox
"On waking, a girl from Mauritius On her physical state was suspicious My fears were allayed When by me she laid Gave a blow job and said ""That's delicious"". Castor had once said to Pollux, Buying soap, how much is it for Lux"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 07 Jul 2015, 21:09
by Saul Bollox
"The EU have been stitched up a treat The Greeks, they just cannot defeat, By not paying their debt, Bubbles think that they'll get A free ride, and be on easy street. Castor had once said to Pollux, I'm buying soap, how much is it for Lux"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 07 Jul 2015, 20:48
by Helmut Shown
"The EU have been stitched up a treat The Greeks, they just cannot defeat The Krauts are upset While the bubbles try to get Moussaka made with luncheon meat On waking, a girl from Mauritius On her physical state was suspicious"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 07 Jul 2015, 17:33
by Joke Whole
"Rodrigo of Bivar (El Cid) Bought his horse on EBay for five quid Whoa! Trigger! Hold steady! It's microwave ready. Just unwrap and loosen the lid. The EU have been stitched up a treat The Greeks, they just cannot defeat"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 07 Jul 2015, 17:17
by Helmut Shown
"To Pharoah Rameses the second, Ran every young maid when he beckoned It just isn't right 10 girls every night His libido was something to be reckoned Rodrigo of Bivar (El Cid) Bought his horse on EBay for five quid"