New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Saul Bollox]

"So now I guess if you're a paddy Concepta can now marry Maddie So now there's no fears For all the ginger beers Now Paddy can marry a laddie. A young man of uncertain gender, It is said is a Prisoner of Zenda"

[cosmo smallpiece]

"David Cameron lies to the nation, With his policy on immigration. It's easy to prove 'Cause we see his lips move A simple enough explanation So now I guess if you're a paddy Concepta can now marry Maddie"

[Saul Bollox]

"A pretty young choirboy called Ben Had been fondled since he was ten Now Father McGuire Was dropped in the Mire, And has been transferred to Phnom Penh David Cameron lies to the nation, With his policy on immigration."

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

Great minds think alike......

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

"In church they all stood up to sing And upstairs, the bells, they did ring Upstairs in the belfry A little boy, Geoffrey Was showing the vicar his thing A pretty young choirboy called Ben Had been fondled since he was ten"

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

"In church they all stood up to sing And upstairs, the bells, they did ring Upstairs in the belfry A little boy, Geoffrey Was showing the vicar his thing A pretty young choirboy called Ben Had been fondled since he was ten"

[Saul Bollox]

"In church they all stood up to sing And upstairs, the bells, they did ring But the priest in his frock Is now in the dock For showing the choir his thing. David Cameron lies to the nation, With his policy on immigration."

[Joke Whole]

"I heard that the manager Moyes Has a penchant for very young boys Quite unlike our boss Who don't give a toss For youth: that he never deploys. In church they all stood up to sing And upstairs, the bells, they did ring"

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

A Kosher butcher called Vince Once mixed some bacon in the mince He served the Rabbi Some nice Shepherd's Pie But has not been to Synagogue since I heard that the manager Moyes Has a penchant for very young boys

[Saul Bollox]

"I just heard some nasty rumours That the Pakis next door are all groomers, Now the husband, Ali Has just come to me, Off'ring me a soinster wearing bloomers, A Kosher butcher called Vince Once mixed some bacon in the mince."

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

"It said the Ottoman Grand Visier, Often sneaked out the back for a beer He'd come home quite drunk With a face full of spunk But insist, 'I'm really not queer' I just heard some nasty rumours That the Pakis next door are all groomers"

[ammerman]

there once was a fellow from bath who though it would be a right laugh

[ammerman]

the football we play to be blunt is to most west ham fans an affront we just hoof the ball to someone whos tall which makes sam allardice a right cսnt

[Saul Bollox]

"Whilst calling the faithful to prayer The Imam was quite unaware While up the minoret, It would be a safe bet, His wife conducted her affair. It said the Ottoman Grand Visier, Often sneaked out the back for a beer."

[Joke Whole]

"Quasiimodo, the hunch back from hell, Now there's a name that rings a bell The guy had no manners - He fucked all the Clangers And most of the Smurf clan as well. Whilst calling the faithful to prayer The Imam was quite unaware"

[Saul Bollox]

"I once met a girl with a stutter Who dad was a bit of a nutter He was hard as nails Had been in all the jails And what's more ate his bread without butter. Quasiimodo, the hunch back from hell, Now there's a name that rings a bell"

[Jethro Q Walrustitty]

I think I might buy a new boat. My choice will be one that can float But after I bought her I couldn't find water So I'm building a bloody big moat I once met a girl with a stutter Who dad was a bit of a nutter

[Joke Whole]

"At Casualty young Carolina Was found to have stuffed her Vagina With a bucket of lard, Which now has set hard, So they need to get in a coal miner. I think I might buy a new boat. My choice will be one that can float."

[Saul Bollox]

A boater while swabbing his deck Got a rather large bite on his neck a nasty insect Did poison inject. His funeral is at Tooting Bec. At Casualty young Carolina Was found to have stuffed her Vagina

[cosmo smallpiece]

There was a young man from Caracas In a brothel caused quite a fracas All the hookers would fight Just to gaze at the sight Of an uncommonly large pair of knackers A boater while swabbing his deck Got a rather large bite on his neck

[Helmut Shown]

There was a young lady from Chile Had a strong penchant for sucking willy She'd let the men come After they'd had her bum To me that's just fucking silly There was a young man from Caracas In a brothel caused quite a fracas

[Saul Bollox]

An hermaphrodite out on the town At a quandary to stand up or sit down He decided to sit But while there had a shit Which stained all the back of his gown. There was a young lady from Chile Had a strong penchant for sucking willy

[Helmut Shown]

There once was a lady called Mame. Who made quite a bit on the game Her penchant for kinky Made her eiderdown stinky The water sports got the blame An hermaphrodite out on the town At a quandary to stand up or sit down

[Saul Bollox]

I caused fellow commuters some pain A silent and deadly on the train A disgusted grimace on each one of them's face Tomorrow I'll do it again There once was a lady called Mame. Who made quite a bit on the game

[Saul Bollox]

"During a serious part A newsreader dropped a loud fart You could hear all the staff When they started to laugh, Which dropped the whole team in the cart. There once was a lady called Mame. Who made quite a bit on the game"