New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Joke Whole]

"A Bible belt preacher once said: ""Repent now or you'll all be dead"" Going out of the door He grabbed a crack whore And exchanged a short blessing for head. I'm counting up insects, for fun. I've got to 4,001"

[joe blob]

"A randy young Swedish man Sven Decided to build his own den After watching much porn He felt a bit forlorn So then took up practicing Zen. A Bible belt preacher once said: ""Repent now or you'll all be dead"""

[Monk~koknee]

I need to select a new book I'll pop down the shops for a look It's just for myself So nothing top shelf I don't want my habits mistook A randy young Swedish man Sven Decided to build his own den

[Joke Whole]

"I had a bit of a 'mare [When] Visiting Trafalgar Square I got really lost; A fortune it cost, In the taxi that took me back there. I need to select a new book I'll pop down the shops for a look."

[Far East Hammer]

A furtive old vagrant called Spence Spent a good deal of time in the Gents Thought he'd get a call From his mate George Michael For he had clearly lost all sense I had a bit of a 'mare Visiting Trafalgar Square

[Monk~koknee]

"A T*tt*nh*m supporter called Solly, Once half inched an old Tesco trolley He will often be seen Around Golders Green Cap in hand with a deaf border collie A furtive old vagrant called Spence Spent a good deal of time in the Gents"

[Saul Bollox]

"A tap in, a deflection and a pen, Yet they all wax lyrical again, The medias in fits, For these T*ttenh*m shits, It make me want to be profane. A T*tt*nh*m supporter called Solly, Once half inched and old Tesco trolley"

[Helmut Shown]

"My Auntie had taken up smack But she decided to give up the crack Now due to addiction She has a conviction Makes money laying flat on her back A tap in, a deflection and a pen, Yet they all wax lyrical again"

[strong dreams]

"A man in the Bois de Boulogne, Found a rather unusual coin. Much to his surprise it had Heads on both sides And you couldn't even see the join My Auntie had taken up smack But she decided to give up the crack"

[cosmo smallpiece]

"There was a young lady from Rheims Thought she'd the man of her dreams Then she said ""Bless my soul"" ""This blow up doll Is coming apart at the seams!"" Our fans, having watched all that crap Got their kicks with an in-house scrap"

[Saul Bollox]

"There was a young lady from Rheims Thought she'd the man of her dreams Until she saw his dick Twas a sight made her sick He'd a dose of the clap, so it seems. A man in the Bois de Boulogne, Found a rather unusual coin."

[Helmut Shown]

"Our manager claims he is great. Well, nothing to prove that, of late Come Christmas night We reverted to shite The hoofball we've all come to hate There was a young lady from Rheims Thought she'd the man of her dreams"

[Joke Whole]

"When we'are playing shit teams, We play shit ourselves, it seems., While up against class We're the product of arse And all we have left is our dreams. Our manager claims he is great. Well, nothing to prove that, of late"

[Saul Bollox]

"Poor Leicester played with some pluck While T*tt*nh*m rely on their luck Three points on the board, For the fore-skinless horde, It's about time these cunts came unstuck. When we'are playing shit teams, We play shit ourselves, it seems.,"

[Helmut Shown]

There was an old man from Netherland Who decided to move to Sunderland His stay will be fleeting Each match day a beating And they're paying him cash in hand Poor Leicester played with some pluck While T*tt*nh*m rely on their luck

[Coffee]

"A young Irish virgin called Niamh Was called names that you wouldn't believe O'Reilly called her a dyke But Paddy said Aine bike, Which left Niamh clinging to Maebh. There was an old man from Netherland Who decided to move to Sunderland"

[Monk~koknee]

A young Irish virgin called Niamh Was called names that you wouldn't believe

[Monk~koknee]

A young Irish virgin called Niamh Was called names that you wouldn't believe

[Monk~koknee]

"Better but still room for improvement Hickory dickory dock, a mouse with a seven inch cock Saw some nuns on a run And for fun he struck one Before scampering back down her frock A young Irish virgin called Nimh Was called names that you wouldn't believe"

[Sydney_Iron]

"A dog has just stolen my dinner He thinks he is onto a winner He gobbled it down, just like a clown And before long spewed up my dinner As I now look a lot thinner Hickory dickory dock, a mouse with a seven inch cock Howzat???????"

[Monk~koknee]

"Thanks for the feedback Saul There was a young lady called Meg, Was forced to lick off her Bloke's smeg With notes of blue cheese And the texture of peas Plus accompanying meat and two veg A dog has just stolen my dinner He thinks he is onto a winner"

[Joke Whole]

"Right. Where were we? A silly young man from Clyde In a funeral procession was spied Climbing into the hearse, But wait! It gets worse! He was whistling ""Here comes the bride"". A dog has just stolen my dinner He thinks he is onto a winner"

[Saul Bollox]

"A silly young man from Clyde In a funeral procession was spied He was wearing brown shoes And a shirt of bright hues Etiquette breeches I can't abide. There was a young lady called Meg, Was forced to lick off her Bloke's smeg"

[Saul Bollox]

(nt)

[Saul Bollox]

Nominee? Where the fuck did that come from?