New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Saul Bollox]

No disrespect Monk-nominee but the Peter Wynegarde Limerick would have been near perfect if there were not so many syllables in the last line. In fact it would be better if you left out the 'that was' BTW I think most of you stuff is top notch

[Sydney_Iron]

I never knew that Monk! The things you learn on WHO...................

[Monk~koknee]

Sydney No disrespect but in a Limerick Line 5 is meant to rhyme with Lines 1 and 2. Please re-submit.

[Sydney_Iron]

Scot's siamese twins Will and Jock Had four balls but only one cock They would rub them together And spray spunk on each other Then sit back and watch the sunrise A silly young man from Clyde In a funeral procession was spied

[Monk~koknee]

"In a bus station bog Pete Wynegarde, Grasped a truck driver's cock which was hard, Inventive was Pete So he used both his feet For an orgasm that was quite avant-garde Scot's siamese twins Will and Jock Had four balls but only one cock"

[Saul Bollox]

"Bent over a chair eyesight misting He'd just been given a fisting, He did not want to do it, But could not eschew it, Because Barrymore was insisting. In a bus station bog Pete Wynegarde, Grasped a truck driver's cock which was hard,"

[Helmut Shown]

These muzzies are killing each other No loyalty to their muslim brother But who gives a fuck With any great luck They won't go home to their mother Bent over a chair eyesight misting He'd just been given a fisting

[Saul Bollox]

An underaged boy young and fair Last seen near Dolphin Square A high court Judge Had been packing his fudge He was introduced by Lionel Blair. These muzzies are killing each other No loyalty to their muslim brother

[Helmut Shown]

Kubla Khan a pleasure dome decreed. Where he could grow his own weed His dream realised His crop fertilised By applying his very own seed An underaged boy young and fair Last seen near Dolphin Square

[Saul Bollox]

"A northenrn chap proper and proud Went walking alone like a cloud While smoking a spliff, He then fell off a cliff And now he is under a shroud, Kubla Khan a pleasure dome decreed. Where he could grow his own weed."

[Monk~koknee]

"Bengali's a funny old thing It doesn't rhyme, said Archibald Singh This absence of rhyme Was a lyrical crime And it meant there was nothing to sing A northenrn chap proper and proud Went walking alone like a cloud"

[Coffee]

"A young lad in Kolkata Was overheard to mutter হ্যালো এখানে ইস্ট হাতুড়ি কিভাবে আপনি আমার পুরাতন চীন করছেন তারা কলকাতার মত আপনি বাংলা বলতে পারেন? Bengali's a funny old thing It doesn't rhyme, said Archibald Singh"

[Coffee]

Sorry!

[Coffee]

Sorry!

[Coffee]

"A sex addict from Bangalore, Was shagging his daughter in law He said it's tradition And not sexual sedition As he picked her pubes from his jaw. By jove, said the Marquis of Dade Would you please pass the marmalade"

[Far East Hammer]

"A sex addict from Bangalore, Was shagging his daughter in law But she got around And so he soon found His shaft was all pussed and sore A young lad in Kolkata Was overheard to mutter"

[Saul Bollox]

"A persistent young fella called Walt Took rejection with a huge pinch of salt, He just didn't care, Whether ugly or fair So he got lots of shags by default.. A sex addict from Bangalore, Was shagging his daughter in law"

[Monk~koknee]

"I got a young strumpet down on the floor But just then her Dad came in through the door ""That's well out of order"" ""I'll get my camcorder"" On Youtube we'll get likes galore A persistent young fella called Walt Took rejection with a huge pinch of salt"

[Far East Hammer]

"Some poets on here have no clue, Piss poor rhymes and metre they spew I mean can't you see? There's worse still than me! But now it's others alluded to I got a young strumpet down on the floor But just then her Dad came in through the door"

[Saul Bollox]

"Spunky McSpunk had no cսnt Cos Eee liked to groove to the funk What the fuck is that, The rantings of a prat cսnt and funk? It aint hard to debunk. Some poets on here have no clue, Piss poor rhymes and metre they spew"

[Saul Bollox]

"Spunky McSpunk had no cսnt Cos Eee liked to groove to the funk What the fuck is that, The rantings a prat cսnt and funk? It aint hard to debunk. Some poets on here have no clue, Piss poor rhymes and metre they spew"

[BRANDED]

"Tunisia is worse than first billed, It appears that a Briton was killed The Arab spring? Winter's coming For islamist cunts its fulfilled. Spunky McSpunk had no cսnt Cos Eee liked to groove to the funk"

[Saul Bollox]

"No wonder the Judge was forlorn He'd been at work looking at porn When his PC was searched Sharply backwards he lurched, Saying: ""Dear me, I thought it was gorn."" Tunisia is worse than first billed, It appears that a Briton was killed"

[,]

A soldier of unspecified rank Once stopped for a Sherman tank But just to confound With pants on wrong way round Could not find the monkey to spank No wonder the Judge was forlorn He'd been at work looking at porn

[Saul Bollox]

"There once was a man from Dudley Who'd not let the football flow free, When two goals in front, He'd act like a cսnt Then the opposition score three. A soldier of unspecified rank, Once stopped for a Sherman tank."