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New Limerick Thread
Posted: 30 Aug 2014, 19:44
by les marteaux
Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 19 Mar 2015, 17:19
by Joke Whole
Fat Sam Fat Sam Fat Sams Fat Fatter than my fucking fat cat His favourite dish? Baked head of fish: A mackerel or a sprat. There once was a man from Dudley Who'd not let the football flow free
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 19 Mar 2015, 17:04
by cosmo smallpiece
All the political threads on WHO Seldom come up with anything new In sure we could handle A rattling good scandal So let's expose someone....but who? Another pathetic squad From Hodgson the dopey old sod
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 19 Mar 2015, 16:17
by BRANDED
"All the political threads on WHO Seldom come up with anything new just cunts typing shit like me and some prick writing piffle, bile and spew Fat Sam Fat Sam Fat Sams Fat Fatter than my fucking fat cat"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 19 Mar 2015, 15:53
by Saul Bollox
"I've just had a dose of the squirts My anus it throbs and it hurts And now once again Pebble dashed porcelaine, A Champagne cork with massive spurts . All the political threads on WHO Seldom come up with anything new"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 19 Mar 2015, 13:45
by Helmut Shown
"Wanking, watching porn on DVD Until his mum walked In with a tea Imagine her shock At seeing the cock She last saw when he was just three I've just had a dose of the squirts My anus it throbs and it hurts"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 19 Mar 2015, 13:43
by Saul Bollox
"Wanking, watching porn on DVD Until his mum walked in with a tea She got a big shock, At the size of his cock Erect it measured one foot three. All the political threads on WHO Seldom come up with anything new"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 19 Mar 2015, 10:42
by Far East Hammer
"Mum found underneath her son's bed Some magazines, not yet been read. Still in plastic jackets All full of nude crumpets I believe that that's enough said Wanking, watching porn on DVD Until his mum walked in with a tea"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 19 Mar 2015, 08:57
by Joke Whole
"A young lady from Kilmarnock Thought it time to taste her bloke's cock. 'twas more cheese than pork With the texture of cork Which gave her a bit of a shock. Mum found underneath her son's bed Some magazines, not yet been read."
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 19 Mar 2015, 07:51
by Far East Hammer
"A cantankerous chap from East Fife Made a ungentlemanly sign to his wife She replied ""Och Oi you!"" ""Go fuck yoursel' too"" To commence a whole load of strife A young lady from Kilmarnock Thought it time to taste her bloke's cock"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 19 Mar 2015, 07:51
by Far East Hammer
"A cantankerous chap from East Fife Made a ungentlemanly sign to his wife She replied ""Och Oi you!"" ""Go fuck yoursel' too"" To commence a whole load of strife A young lady from Kilmarnock Thought it time to taste her bloke's cock"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 19 Mar 2015, 06:14
by Monk~koknee
My chickens have come into season But the cock has gone off for some reason He sloped off to the barn Where he read the koran So I cut off his head for high treason A cantankerous chap from East Fife Made a ungentlemanly sign to his wife
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 19 Mar 2015, 05:47
by Joke Whole
Lord Nelson was known to be fond Of a dip in Ms Hamilton's pond When she smelt like a dyke He got on his bike And rode off to the back of beyond My chickens have come into season But the cock has gone off for some reason
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 19 Mar 2015, 02:08
by cosmo smallpiece
"That Napoleon Bonaparte Once let off a rather wet fart In Josephine's bed Then he covered her head And said ""'Ave some o' that you tart!"" Lord Nelson was known to be fond Of a dip in Ms Hamilton's pond"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 19 Mar 2015, 00:39
by Saul Bollox
On the tube he thought he would reach at a bottom shaped just like a peach After his first touch He fondled her crutch Which was rather an etiquette breach. That Napoleon Bonaparte Once let off a rather wet fart
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 18 Mar 2015, 22:34
by Helmut Shown
"A gust of wind blew up ""her"" frock, And revealed no drawers and a cock ""She'd"" have been in some trouble If it wasn't bent double ""She'd"" have to tuck it into her sock On the tube he thought he would reach at a bottom shaped just like a peach"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 18 Mar 2015, 16:45
by Saul Bollox
"From Sydney's pen the verses came And for his readers twas a shame This lad from down under Has made a big blunder I'll skip his post if it's all the same. A gust of wind blew up ""her"" frock, And revealed no drawers and a cock"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 18 Mar 2015, 07:29
by Sydney_Iron
From Sydney's pen the verses came And for his readers twas a shame Monkkoknee agreed and Coffee the same As they both buggered each with soap There was a once a man called Monkoknee Who covered himself in cream
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 18 Mar 2015, 07:17
by Coffee
An enlightened young man from Bengal Never learned about life while at school But fishing he did much adore Cos he was Rabindra Tagore And oh so terribly cool. From Sydney's pen the verses came And for his readers twas a shame
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 18 Mar 2015, 07:14
by Monk~koknee
"A dog was licking its balls inside a Tesco foodhall To the dog it did seem That the limerick scheme Was a mystery to Sydney, the fool An enlightened young man from Bengal Never learned about life while at school"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 18 Mar 2015, 06:40
by Sydney_Iron
The picture that hangs on my wall Is a bird who is wearing fuck-all. except for a Millwall tattoo which looks like a poo and the new Den is not much better too. A dog was licking its balls inside a Tesco foodhall
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 18 Mar 2015, 06:30
by Joke Whole
"Last night I went to Tesco, It's not very often I go Their two-for-one tarts And own-branded farts Were the best of the bargains on show The picture that hangs on my wall Is a bird who is wearing fuck-all."
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 17 Mar 2015, 15:40
by joe blob
"Don't do business with Levy the Jew It's something you'll learn to rue This Tottenham snide Aught to be brushed aside. Like shit that has stuck to your shoe. Last night I went to Tesco, It's not very often I go"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 17 Mar 2015, 13:53
by Helmut Shown
Farage had ordered a balti So the chef did something naughty With a healthy kerplunk he squirted some spunk He regarded this dish as his forte Don't do business with Levy the Jew It's something you'll learn to rue
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 17 Mar 2015, 03:24
by Far East Hammer
Every day I will pray to my god For the days of an all English squad What kind of fillip? Just to please Ukip? No Frankie Mac or Tevez you sod! Farage had ordered a balti So the chef did something naughty
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 17 Mar 2015, 02:42
by Monk~koknee
"How long will our waiting go on? Will he go? will he stay? has he gone? Is he out, is he in? Is he fat, is he thin? How we yearn for old Ron and young John Every day I will pray to my god For the days of an all English squad"