New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Monk~koknee]

So did Clarkson lump him or not? Was it a publicity plot? If it weren't in the script He must have just flipped The pot bellied denim clad twat A mild mannered librarian Brian Had a shirt that was distinctly Hawaiin

[Monk~koknee]

So did Clarkson lump him or not? Was it a publicity plot? If it weren't in the script He must have just flipped The pot bellied denim clad twat A mild mannered librarian Brian Had a shirt that was distinctly Hawaiin

[Far East Hammer]

"English football had gone to the dogs, The top team beaten by some frogs Losing to Arsenal!? Not really all that cool Yet Chelsea remain the headline hogs So did Clarkson lump him or not? Was it a publicity plot?"

[Saul Bollox]

"A drunken old sot called Farage Wants to chuck all not brits on a barge, The words from his lip ""Come and vote UKIP"" Not with a cսnt like that in charge. English football had gone to the dogs, The top team beaten by some frogs"

[Rise Park family]

I've been told that the pervert Rolf Harris Has been given it right up the Aris His didigerdoo Now covered in pooh More mud then a fresh piper maris A drunken old sot called Farage Wants to chuck all not brits on a barge

[Saul Bollox]

"A dirty old pervert from Leeds Would wank off a dog till it bleeds Fed it when it did bark, Took it down to the park, He in fact fulfilled all of his needs. I've been told that the pervert Rolf Harris Has been given it right up the Aris'"

[Joke Whole]

"It was rumoured a Tory MP Was seen by police from Yew Tree ""He swore he was older!"" He barked - feeling bolder It turned out the kid was just three. A dirty old pervert from Leeds Would wank off a dog till it bleeds"

[Helmut Shown]

A victim of skulldugery Was subjected to rough buggery He was raped he was beaten And they all went to Eton A victim of upper class thuggery It was rumoured a Tory MP Was seen by police from Yew Tree

[Saul Bollox]

The kids are all laughing at me I don't know what gives them such glee Now I see that their fun 'S cos my fly is undone And my knob's out for all them to see. A victim of skulldugery Was subjected to rough buggery

[Joke Whole]

With nothing else to do that day The boss was shagging his PA He emptied his mess On the secretary's desk And used her knickers to wipe it away. The kids are all laughing at me I don't know what gives them such glee

[Far East Hammer]

A young office worker named Walter Was shagging the boss's daughter Caught in the act Found himself hacked So now his willy's four inches shorter With nothing else to do that day The boss was shagging his PA

[cosmo smallpiece]

"During an annus horribilis A man got a dose of syphilis At the clinic they said ""Won't be long 'til your dead"" ""You'll be lucky to make it to Christmas"" A young office worker named Walter Was shagging the boss's daughter"

[Saul Bollox]

"Whilst swimming in Tooting Bec lido a boy was approached by a paedo He clothing was drab Probably an Arab, And looked like the footballer Mido During an annus horribilis A man got a dose of syphilis"

[Helmut Shown]

"Art expert Sir Anthony Blunt Had a job at the Palace, a front Was caught in discussion With a spy who was Russian While floating on the Cam in a punt Whilst swimming in Tooting Bec lido a boy was approached by a paedo"

[Saul Bollox]

"An haughty old lady called Joan Claimed to be 6th in line for the throne, Met her once in Dover, Offered me a leg over Then just wouldn't leave me alone. Art expert Sir Anthony Blunt Had a job at the Palace, a front"

[Monk~koknee]

"I'm looking to buy a new table, But get to the shops, I'm unable Tried shopping online But the card was declined And the internet connection's unstable An haughty old lady called Joan Claimed to be 6th in line for the throne"

[Joke Whole]

"An inscrutible man from the East Suffered badly from genital yeast So he rubbed on his parts Congealed rhino farts And the itching, at last, fully ceased. I'm looking to buy a new table, But get to the shops, I'm unable"

[Monk~koknee]

"There once was an old Buddhist monk, While wanking he suddenly thunk This is not right for me I should just drink some tea Do you have any biscuits to dunk? An inscrutible man from the East Suffered badly from genital yeast"

[joe blob]

"A waiter at the local Chinese Had a terrible splutter and wheeze He coughed up some snot Spat it in a pot Which was cooking number thirty threes. There once was an old Buddhist monk, While wanking he suddenly thunk."

[Monk~koknee]

"There once was a radio station That claimed ""We're the voice of the nation"". But those pop picking voices Liked Junior Choices Unless that is pure speculation A waiter at the local Chinese Had a terrible splutter and wheeze"

[Joke Whole]

"There once was an old Jewish stripper. Refused to work during Yom Kippur But she did jig-a-jig On the Night Of The Pig To songs by Oasis & Blur. There once was a radio station That claimed ""We're the voice of the nation""."

[Saul Bollox]

"A young intern who was a right card Covered his boss's laptop with lard, It's true that sometimes I just can't think up rhymes, And give up, cos it is just too hard. There once was an old Jewish stripper. Refused to work during Yom Kippur"

[Saul Bollox]

"A young intern who was a right card Covered his boss's laptop with lard, It's true that sometimes I just can't think up rhymes, And give up, cos it is just too hard. There once was an old Jewish stripper. Refused to work during Yom Kippur"

[Far East Hammer]

"The soldiers, whilst out on parade Were watched by a buxom young maid She undid her dress There was a big mess As the squaddies saw how she played A young intern who was a right card Covered his boss's laptop with lard"

[Joke Whole]

"The boss was called BFS What that stood for you never could guess But all the fans shivered At what he delivered: His tactics were now a complete mess The soldiers, whilst out on parade Were watched by a buxom young maid"