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New Limerick Thread
Posted: 30 Aug 2014, 19:44
by les marteaux
Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 26 Feb 2015, 18:33
by Helmut Shown
"A nudist from Wapping High Wall, Strolled down the street wearing fuck all. As he walked through a hedge Scraped meat and two veg And ripped it from helmet to ball That Tottenham bloke Harry Kane Is there something wrong with his brain?"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 26 Feb 2015, 17:33
by Saul Bollox
"A lady of breeding and style Was a guest star on Jeremy Kyle Her husband Lord Peter Would quite often beat her, But he claimed he had not for a while. A nudist from Wapping High Wall, Strolled down the street wearing fuck all."
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 26 Feb 2015, 17:01
by Monk~koknee
"I went once for tea at the Vicars, but beforehand i'd eaten a Snickers, I swear the almighty Then pulled up my nightie For a marathon thrust in my knickers A lady of breeding and style Was a guest star on Jeremy Kyle"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 26 Feb 2015, 16:50
by Saul Bollox
"A very suave Frenchman Pierre Was gifted with great savoir faire The ladies he'd charm, And take them on his arm To a hotel in Banyuls sur mer. I went once for tea at the Vicars, but beforehand i'd eaten a Snickers,"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 26 Feb 2015, 15:58
by Monk~koknee
There once was a German called Fritz Whose manner was really the pits. Teutonic and proud His voice very loud He eventually got on your tits A very suave Frenchman Pierre Was gifted with great savoir faire
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 26 Feb 2015, 15:32
by Saul Bollox
A man and a dog and a horse Had wandered completely off course This tale wil amaze They were gone four days And turned up outside the Paris Bourse. There once was a German called Fritz Whose manner was really the pits.
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 26 Feb 2015, 15:32
by Saul Bollox
A man and a dog and a horse Had wandered completely off course This tale wil amaze They were gone four days And turned up outside the Paris Bourse. There once was a German called Fritz Whose manner was really the pits.
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 26 Feb 2015, 13:40
by Monk~koknee
A Scuber diver from Crete Had extraordinary very large feet He once took the plunge To dive for a sponge And the splash caused the tide to retreat A man and a dog and a horse Had wandered completely off course
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 26 Feb 2015, 12:53
by wanstead_hammer
The vagina of a girl from Seoul Like a badly packed bacon roll Could fire a gross of small balls To China's Great Wall With no need in paying the toll. A Scuber diver from Crete Had extraordinary very large feet
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 26 Feb 2015, 10:31
by Helmut Shown
"A glass-eyed bus driver from Penge One early shift, fancied revenge Without making fuss He drove off his bus And dumped it quite near Stonehenge The vagina of a girl from Seoul Like a badly packed bacon roll"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 26 Feb 2015, 10:13
by wanstead_hammer
"At banquets and balls, and at hunts They'll tell you all spurs fans are cunts While chasing the fox They'd all check their cocks And leave a few tips after lunch. A glass-eyed bus driver from Penge One early shift, fancied revenge"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 26 Feb 2015, 03:25
by Saul Bollox
"There once was a dear parson from Reading in whose eyes the tears would be welling She stood in the church But was left in the lurch, Her groom never came to the wedding*. At banquets and balls, and at hunts They'll tell you all spurs fans are cunts."
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 25 Feb 2015, 22:11
by Hammer and Pickle
"There was a old man called Roy Got a mail order bride Ladyboy Instead of the Ladybird book He'd ordered, and look how he's enjoying his new toy. There once was a dear parson from Reading in whose eyes the tears would be welling"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 25 Feb 2015, 21:52
by Saul Bollox
"Whilst walking along by the coast, My cock got as hard as a post I don't know why Jaywick Does this to my prick, It's something about which I don't boast. There was a old man called Roy Got a mail order bride Ladyboy"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 25 Feb 2015, 20:12
by Joke Whole
"A girl from Islamabad Would not wear her veil for her dad The last time she did She got boned by a yid Which irked her relations a tad. Whilst walking along by the coast, My cock got as hard as a post"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 25 Feb 2015, 18:13
by Helmut Shown
There was a young girl from Chennai Who took all her blokes in a sty Although she was fit The bad smell of shit Made most of her tricks pass her by A girl from Islamabad Would not wear her veil for her dad
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 25 Feb 2015, 16:22
by Saul Bollox
"Oops An Indian girl from Nagpur Had a fanny all covered in fur So she went out to get, A pack of Gilette, Now her fanny's bald which pleases her. There was a young girl from Chennai Who took all her blokes in a sty"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 25 Feb 2015, 16:21
by Saul Bollox
"An Indian girl from Nagpur Had a fanny all covered in fur So she went out to get, A pack of Gilette, Now her fanny's bald pleases her."
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 25 Feb 2015, 16:13
by Helmut Shown
"An old Jewish widow had news She was off on a round the world cruise Between you and me She got it for free That's how they like it, the Jews An Indian girl from Nagpur Had a fanny all covered in fur"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 25 Feb 2015, 15:46
by wanstead_hammer
An artistic model called Rita Lay supine across a three seater Her boyfriend from Barking Was no good at Parking And she ended up straddling a meter. An old Jewish widow had news She was off on a round-the-world cruise
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 25 Feb 2015, 15:35
by Helmut Shown
There was a young mans from Barking With his girl friend was always skylarking With a well lubed thumb He entered her bum Then out of the door was embarking An artistic model called Rita Lay supine across a three seater
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 25 Feb 2015, 15:26
by Helmut Shown
"A physiotherapist Gwen Liked working her magic on men But her heart sank When asked for a wank ""Not done that since way back when"" An artistic model called Rita Lay supine across a three seater"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 25 Feb 2015, 15:25
by Saul Bollox
A physiotherapist Gwen Liked working her magic on men With them she will tussle To cure aching muscle And a full strip relief now and then. There was a young mans from Barking With his girl friend was always skylarking.
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 25 Feb 2015, 15:12
by Monk~koknee
A one-armed shelf stacker from Neath Opened the boxes he had with his teeth With dexterous skill Caught his hand in the till As a result his employment was brief A physiotherapist Gwen Liked working her magic on men
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 25 Feb 2015, 14:18
by wanstead_hammer
"At the helm of the starship Enterprise, Jean Luc could not believe his eyes On a far away Planet Ukip won Thanet By 10 votes, Nige's pint and and some lies. A one-armed shelf stacker from Neath Opened the boxes he had with his teeth"