New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Helmut Shown]

Oi vay

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

They tell me that our Helmut Shown His real name is Mordechai Cohen He attempted to cower Whilst in the shower But I could see he had no tip on his bone I have to admit that I cried When hearing that Dozy had died

[Saul Bollox]

"With the number of interested bids Don't sell Winston Reid to the yids, With a cock on his shirt It would really hurt And sends a bad vibe to the kids. They tell me that our Helmut Shown His real name is Mordechai Cohen"

[Helmut Shown]

A confident nerveless young man That's how I'd describe Adrian If he hadn't stepped up Our run in the cup Would have ended right down the pan With the number of interested bids Don't sell Winston Reid to the yids

[cosmo smallpiece]

* mongs. Fucking spellcheck.

[cosmo smallpiece]

Next up in the cup Bristol City Let's win and show them no pity Let these West Country monks Know that this cup belongs In the East London part of the city A confident nerveless young man That's how I'd describe Adrian

[,]

"A young girl would only come When a finger was stuck up her bum one lover would contrive to make her ""arrive"" but he failed when he used his thumb Next up in the cup Bristol City Let's win and show them no pity"

[Helmut Shown]

"There was a young lady from Leeds, After shagging her vagina bleeds An infection of the cսnt When inserted in her front Was a used string of anal beads A young girl would only come When a finger was stuck up her bum"

[Saul Bollox]

"Whilst tying knots in the scout hut A boy felt a hand on his butt, It slid up his thigh Unbuttoned his fly, Well what happened next is pure smut. There was a young lady from Leeds, After shagging her vagina bleeds."

[Helmut Shown]

Returning from a walk near Norwich A girl found someone nicked her porridge with nothing to dine She had some mulled wine Infused with a few leaves of borage Whilst tying knots in the scout hut A boy felt a hand on his butt

[Helmut Shown]

Returning from a walk near Norwich A girl found someone nicked her porridge with nothing to dine She had some mulled wine Infused with a few leaves of borage Whilst tying knots in the scout hut A boy felt a hand on his butt

[Saul Bollox]

I'm thinking that it would be great If my bloody train wasn't late I've been standing here For what seems like a year On the platform at New Cross Gate. Returning from a walk near Norwich A girl found someone nicked her porridge

[Saul Bollox]

I'm thinking that it would be great If my bloody train wasn't late I've been standing here For what seems like a year On the platform at New Cross Gate. Returning from a walk near Norwich A girl found someone nicked her porridge

[Joke Whole]

Sitting in work he was wishing That he wasn't there but fishing He should have no fear For the losers on here Will give all the sport he is missing. I'm thinking that it would be great If my bloody train wasn't late

[Helmut Shown]

"Is the digging out of Allardyce, On this forum not very nice? Does he have an eye For his share of the pie Of which he wants a big slice Sitting in work he was wishing That he wasn't there but fishing"

[Saul Bollox]

"That horrible Swiss cսnt Sepp Blatter Most right minded people would batter You just have to look To see he's a crook, And it seems that the cսnt just gets fatter. Is the digging out of Allardyce, On this forum not very nice?"

[Helmut Shown]

A bloke just got a job in banking Now he's working in their branch Nanking But what causes rancour He still is a banker A therefore deserves a good spanking That horrible Swiss cսnt Sepp Blatter Most right minded people would batter

[Saul Bollox]

"I just had some bangers and mash Which quite frankly were utter gash, And with too much beer It's makes me feel queer, Now I'm off for a quick Johnny Cash. A bloke just got a job in banking Now he's working in their branch Nanking"

[Far East Hammer]

My laptop has just upped and died I think it had ware that was spied I'm now all forlorn Perhaps it was porn Of its safety the site lied I just had some bangers and mash Which quite frankly were utter gash

[Joke Whole]

"A Brummie watching Fox News For some reason blew a fuse ""Hey! I'm not a cսnt!"" He said with affront ""Please check on the facts that you use."" My laptop has just upped and died I think it had ware that was spied"

[Far East Hammer]

Two religious nutters did go To the office of Charlie Hebdo What they did sure was gruesome But in the name of Islaam? Nah! Just some cunts without a clue A Brummie watching Fox News For some reason blew a fuse

[Saul Bollox]

Two religious nutters did go* To the office of Charlie Hebdo

[Saul Bollox]

A lady from Saudi Arabia Had problems with protruding labia Her doctor's pro tem Did a quick FGM Then she went home and played her Clavier Thanks Helmut! Two religious nutters did do To the office of Charlie Hebdo

[Helmut Shown]

"A carpenter did not approve, His daughter's love of tongue in groove It was her breath It smelt just like death With a 69, enjoyment did improve A lady from Saudi Arabia Had problems with protruding labia"

[Saul Bollox]

"Skirt up and unconscious in an alley And not smelling of lily of the valley She should not have donned those Revealing, kinky clothes To go to an Islamic rally. A carpenter did not approve, His daughter's love of tongue in groove"