New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Far East Hammer]

A deep sea angler named Steele Tried bugg'ring a big conger eel. But when going for head He was better off dead As his schlong he could no longer feel A Brummie lass would give head Round the back of her father's shed

[Saul Bollox]

"While we're at it a girl has no class If she has hair on the ring of her arse, The lady next door Has klingons galore, And says shaving there can be a farce. A deep sea angler named Steele Tried bugg'ring a big conger eel."

[Helmut Shown]

"What makes a nice snatch doesn't vary, The bits kept inside and quite hairy I cannot agree I do like to see A nice shaved and perfumed faerie While we're at it a girl has no class If she has hair on the ring of her arse"

[Saul Bollox]

"A book keeper's clerk from Surbiton With her next door neighbour was smitten, He said ""Please show me Your furry puss-y"""" Was confused so,she showed him her kitten. What makes a nice snatch doesn't vary, The bits kept inside and quite hairy"

[Saul Bollox]

"A book keeper's clerk from Surbiton With her next door neighbour was smitten, He said ""Please show me Your furry puss-y"""" Was confused so,she showed him her kitten. What makes a nice snatch doesn't vary, The bits kept inside and quite hairy"

[Far East Hammer]

"A mother was asked by her child ""What is it that drives the boys wild?"" But she wouldn't say So up to today The innocent girl still hasn't smiled A book keeper's clerk from Surbiton With her next door neighbour was smitten"

[Joke Whole]

"A young lady tried to be brave Felt it was time to finally shave But she shaved the wrong bits Now has silky smooth tits But a minge like an untended grave A mother was asked by her child ""What is it that drives the boys wild?"""

[Far East Hammer]

As RPF didn't come up with new lines... For most blokes the sight will offend 'em. Those birds with badly packed pudendum If it's too hairy It does get scary And leaves one feeling quite rum A young lady tried to be brave Felt it was time to finally shave

[Rise Park family]

For most blokes the sight will offend 'em. Those birds with badly packed pudendum Camel toe leggings Have the pervs all a begging Wishing they could get right inside them

[Saul Bollox]

"Whilst dining one night at the Hilton I complained 'bout the state of the Stilton, I'd dine there most days Eating cheese or souflés While reading the poems of Milton. For most blokes the sight will offend 'em. Those birds with badly packed pudendum"

[,]

"I once met a girl at the Ritz Who said that she ""loved me to bits"", but this pleasant honey was after my money I did one of those moonlight flits Whilst dining one night at the Hilton I complained 'bout the state of the Stilton"

[Joke Whole]

"There once was a girl from Jerez who had problems with very bad breath. It was good that this tart, Never learnt how to fart, The combo would mean certain death. I once met a girl at the Ritz Who said that she ""loved me to bits,"""

[,]

A lady from North Carolina Made a living selling bone china it was all a la mode better than spode where she's from you'll find nothing finer There once was a girl from Jerez who had problems with very bad breath

[Saul Bollox]

"A Spanish girl from Alicante Wore clothing that was very scanty. To see her all clamour A beach girl of glamour, But at night she goes back to her shanty. A lady from North Carolina Made a living selling bone china"

[Helmut Shown]

I'm roasting myself a small hog I sure hope I ain't bought a dog Is it cat or horsemeat Or dead badger's feet Will I spend the night on the bog? A Spanish girl from Alicante Wore clothing that was very scanty

[Helmut Shown]

(nt)

[Joke Whole]

The toffees away won't be easy And the thought of defeat makes me queasy Late one in off the post Then prepare for a roast As Ferguson time ain't too pleasy I'm roasting myself a small hog I sure hope I ain't bought a dog

[,]

"A young girl from near Malden Russett, Had a large dirty stain on her gussett Look hard as you can And you'll see ""she's"" a man It's really easy to suss it The toffees away won't be easy And the thought of defeat makes me queasy"

[Saul Bollox]

"They say that we don't have the wealth To continue with National Health, This Etonian bitch Wants more for the rich And taxes for the rest by stealth. A young girl from near Malden Russett, Had a large dirty stain on her gussett"

[Helmut Shown]

"I'm now running out of disc space My porn set, it grows with some pace At the crest of the hierarchy A directory of bukkake With girls with cum on their face They say that we don't have the wealth To continue with National Health"

[Joke Whole]

"Owing to some very rusty bolts When driving my car's full of jolts Each time I did cough A wheel would fall off Resulting in numerous halts. I'm now running out of disc space My porn set, it grows with some pace"

[Far East Hammer]

There once was a inner tube from Diss That when vigorously pumped would hiss But how much you'd seek That annoying leak Every time it you would miss Owing to some very rusty bolts When driving my car's full of jolts

[Hammer and Pickle]

"An old tom from near Lowestoft, Whose dentures came out when she coughed, I met 'pon the pier in a gale as my chops went from red to pale And I swear I yet have failed to go soft. There once was a inner tube from Diss That when vigorously pumped would hiss"

[Saul Bollox]

"So 'Arry's New Year has been blighted By those fuckpigs from Sheffield United A club with no class, V a mouthy old arse Scum v scum, it should be highlighted. An old tom from near Lowestoft, Whose dentures came out when she coughed"

[Helmut Shown]

We're treating the cup with some style And not got this far for a while So who will he chose For this cup tie to lose And return to hoofball so vile So 'Arry's New Year has been blighted By those fuckpigs from Sheffield United