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New Limerick Thread
Posted: 30 Aug 2014, 19:44
by les marteaux
Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 01 Jan 2015, 15:19
by Saul Bollox
"I met this fat bird at a dance And told her that my name was Lance My load in her I shot, In the rear parking lot. She was grateful I gave her the chance. There once was a lady called Nellie Was on Jeremy Kyle on the telly."
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 01 Jan 2015, 14:54
by Joke Whole
It's a new year with new hangover I'm too old now to be a groover I'm getting the hang Of verse that don't scan So I'll terminate this one with hover. I met this fat bird at a dance And told her that my name was Lance
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 01 Jan 2015, 07:03
by Far East Hammer
"It was long gone this Limerick thread, But it now has risen from the dead. But behold 'tis time For my mis-rhyme Did you listen to what I said!? It's a new year with new hangover I'm too old now to be a groover"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 31 Dec 2014, 23:20
by Saul Bollox
"With just 3 hours to go til' new year at 12 there will be a loud cheer And a fireworks display But it's just a new day, It will be the same old shit I fear. It was long gone this Limerick thread, But it now has risen from the dead."
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 31 Dec 2014, 23:20
by Saul Bollox
"With just 3 hours to go til' new year at 12 there will be a loud cheer And a fireworks display But it's just a new day, It will be the same old shit I fear. It was long gone this Limerick thread, But it now has risen from the dead."
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 31 Dec 2014, 22:21
by Nuclear Noodle
In a spinster lady's back garden She found an old bloke with a hard on. She took him inside And gave him a ride But forgot to use a large condom With just 3 hours to go til' new year at 12 there will be a loud cheer
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 31 Dec 2014, 22:02
by Saul Bollox
"There was a young lady called Lucy Who looked like Hull manager, Brucie, He soon threw her out A he proved beyond doubt That she had a shit in the Jacuzzi. In a spinster lady's back garden She found an old bloke with a hard on."
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 31 Dec 2014, 21:58
by Nuclear Noodle
"There was a young man called Mick Had a boil on the end of his prick He squeezed it so hard and out came some lard all over his wife who was sick There was a young lady called Lucy Who looked like Hull manager, Brucie"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 31 Dec 2014, 21:56
by Saul Bollox
There was an old man from Gibraltar For his wife a vibrator he bought her To keep her satisfied Because one day she lied And in bed with* an old bloke he caught her. There was a young man called Mick Had a boil on the end of his prick
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 31 Dec 2014, 21:55
by Saul Bollox
There was an old man from Gibraltar For his wife a vibrator he bought her To keep her satisfied Because one day she lied And in bed an old bloke he caught her. There was a young man called Mick Had a boil on the end of his prick
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 31 Dec 2014, 21:53
by Nuclear Noodle
There was a young lady called Jo'. Had a clearly defined camel toe. Tight latex she wore coz she was a whore For ÔøΩ10 she'd give you a blow There was an old man from Gibraltar For his wife a vibrator he bought her
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 31 Dec 2014, 21:49
by Saul Bollox
"It's 8.20pm here in town I've already got on a dressing gown From the Market it's come A gift from my old mum, And it only cost her half a crown. There was a young lady called Jo'. Had a clearly defined camel toe."
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 31 Dec 2014, 21:44
by Nuclear Noodle
"When this festive shit has all gone. Deep midwinter then draws on With Xmas now over I'll fuck off to Dover Farewell, Au Revoir and Ce'bon It's 8.20pm here in town I've already got on a dressing gown"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 31 Dec 2014, 21:35
by Saul Bollox
"Well Happy New Year to you campers I'm going to get stuck into the champers So fuck all this shite I'll have an early night, And my carer must now change my Pampers When this festive shit has all gone. Deep midwinter then draws on"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 31 Dec 2014, 20:48
by Hello Mrs. Jones
Joke Whole has just tried his luck To make me end with the word fuck But as hard as he tried I have too much pride Than lower myself with this muck Well Happy New Year to you campers I'm going to get stuck into the champers
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 31 Dec 2014, 20:30
by Saul Bollox
"A rent boy was down on his luck Thought ""Suicide! Under a truck!"" When scraped from the ground Severed bits all around. and his head in the wheels got stuck. Joke Whole has just tried his luck To make me end with the word fuck."
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 31 Dec 2014, 19:31
by Joke Whole
"After a bad urine infection A man could not get an erection. Some tart down the pub Gave his manhood a rub Returning it's poise to perfection. A rent boy was down on his luck Thought ""Suicide! Under a truck!"""
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 31 Dec 2014, 19:31
by Joke Whole
"After a bad urine infection A man could not get an erection. Some tart down the pub Gave his manhood a rub Returning it's poise to perfection. A rent boy was down on his luck Thought ""Suicide! Under a truck!"""
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 31 Dec 2014, 19:22
by les marteaux
"Whilst arising at the crack of dawn I decided to put on some porn. At around about five, Saved it on the hard drive But when I came back it had gorn. After a bad urine infection A man could not get an erection."
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 31 Dec 2014, 16:24
by Nuclear Noodle
"I'm hoping, next year, for a lot Of action with my bird's b'loon knot You will go for it with big avengance But you'll never get up that back entrance And more than likely get shot Whilst arising at the crack of dawn I decided to put on some porn"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 31 Dec 2014, 16:22
by Joke Whole
"So tonight most pubs will be busy In tho morning some heads will be dizzy Make sure you get fed With a Full English spread, Then, straight back you go on the fizzy. I'm hoping, next year, for a lot Of action with my bird's b'loon knot"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 31 Dec 2014, 16:11
by Nuclear Noodle
A man from quite near Bethnal Green Bought a new buggery machine He plugged it in fast So he could stick it up his arse And thought it would make it real clean So tonight most pubs will be busy In tho morning some heads will be dizzy
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 31 Dec 2014, 14:47
by les marteaux
"Some say NYE is the best I'd rather have an STD test While talking of this When I went for a piss And it stung, well you know the rest. A man from quite near Bethnal Green Bought a new buggery machine"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 31 Dec 2014, 14:44
by Nuclear Noodle
"New years night, I like not a bit Another year gone, same old shit Pay to get in a boozer You are some kind of loser I'd rather stay in and eat shit Some say NYE is the best I'd rather have an STD test"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 31 Dec 2014, 14:43
by les marteaux
"It'll wipe off your festive smiles A very bad case of the piles, I started to shake When It started to ache, Watching videos of Nobby Stiles. New years night, I like not a bit Another year gone, same old shit"