New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[mashed in maryland]

In Cambridge a man in a punt Was using his pole at the front He went the wrong way No I don't mean he's gay He's just going backwards the cսnt There once was a man named Billy Who did something incredibly silly

[Helmut Shown]

Aled Jones used to walk in the air when he hadn't yet grown pubic hair The high pitched squeak From the sheep shagging freak Not my cup of tea to be fair In Cambridge a man in a punt Was using his pole at the front

[doomhunk]

A young lady called Mary Huff Had an outstandingly hairy muff. Though she trimmed it all day it would not go away and it made gaining access there tough. Aled Jones used to walk in the air when he hadn't yet grown pubic hair.

[Saul Bollox]

"There once was a necrophiliac Whom was oft known as Happy Jack when smoking a spliff He got hold of a stiff, And shoved his fist right up her crack. A young lady called Mary Huff Had an outstandingly hairy muff"

[easthambull]

"To be a perverted coprophagic, Would seem to most people quite tragic the sweet taste of shit when smeared on my mitt I can only describe as magic There once was a necrophiliac Whom was oft known as Happy Jack"

[Saul Bollox]

"Whilst fucking my rancid old wife I reached for a sharp carving knife And being quite pissed Started cutting my wrist, This really is no kind of life To be a perverted coprophagic, Would seem to most people quite tragic"

[easthambull]

"I was having a piss in the bath, When something caused me to laugh My micro cock Still in it's red sock From when I buggered a calf Whilst fucking my rancid old wife I reached for a sharp carving knife"

[Saul Bollox]

"Whilst sniffing my girlfriend's bum My face brushed the folds of her tum. I started to lick But then I felt sick I had licked up yesterdays bread crumb. I was having a piss in the bath, When something caused me to laugh"

[easthambull]

"Three wise men it was once said, Watched a star light up a cattle shed This virgin birth causes some great mirth As does ""Him"" rising from the dead. Whilst sniffing my girlfriend's bum My face brushed the folds of her tum"

[Saul Bollox]

"Next season we face Barcelona Or maybe FC Estepona, But I would really say Don't get carried away Our wins giving some a big boner. Three wise men it was once said, Watched a star light up a cattle shed"

[easthambull]

Dropping my pants caused quite a palaver One gonad's much bigger than the other I can reveal my Hydrocele Did not come from my mother! Next season we face Barcelona Or maybe FC Estepona

[Far East Hammer]

"A man with a very long dick Was forced to have intercourse quick His wife was approaching Just as he was cumming Inside of a whore from Wick Dropping my pants caused quite a palaver One gonad's much bigger than the other (and yes, to be pronounced ""uvver"" like how what it's spoken in the East End - I ain't some fucking poncey hoity-toit, innit!)"

[Joke Whole]

"It's Swansea at our place next if they beat us we'll all be vexed But, if they can't travel They may well unravel And depart our ground nervous wrecks A man with a very long dick Was forced to have intercourse quick"

[,]

Another three points won tonight Though some say we were really shite took our goals with aplomb to beat West Brom it even pleased Mr Polite It's Swansea at our place next if they beat us we'll all be vexed

[Saul Bollox]

"PPI, solar panels now UKIP Calls from these cunts I would skip Makes one want to spit When you're having a shit, Or you're having an afternoon kip Another three points won tonight Though some say we were really shite"

[Helmut Shown]

"Between Corden and Brand it's a choice Who has the more flashy Rolls Royce But both got a shock Been twice round the clock And both bought from Aubrey Boyce PPI, solar panels now UKIP Calls from these cunts I would skip"

[easthambull]

I wish that cսnt would get canned I really detest Russell Brand He's not all that bad For a Grays lad At least he's not at all bland Between Corden and Brand it's a choice Who has the more flashy Rolls Royce

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

"There was a scotsman called McPhee, Was told that he had HIV. He'd been too drunk to remember The tenth of November When the woman he shagged was a He I wish that cսnt would get canned I really detest Russell Brand"

[Saul Bollox]

"A chap suffered spinal distortion when feeding his girlfriend a portion, It turned out OK When he went to Xray. But next time he will proceed with caution. There was a scotsman called McPhee, Was told that he had HIV."

[Saul Bollox]

"A chap suffered spinal distortion when feeding his girlfriend a portion, It turned out OK When he went to Xray. But next time he will proceed with caution. There was a scotsman called McPhee, Was told that he had HIV."

[,]

"There once was a catholic priest, Whose knob was all covered with yeast. Imagine his joy when his fav'rite choirboy turned up for his midnight ""feast"" A chap suffered spinal distortion when feeding his girlfriend a portion"

[Saul Bollox]

"The once was a blasphemous man An infidel who loved West Ham, In his rantings he'd jot Of Bert Russell's tea pot. And was virulently anti-Islam. There once was a catholic priest, Whose knob was all covered with yeast."

[easthambull]

"A village set close to a river Had a pervert, a taker not giver His spunk splattered bum was dripping wet cum And cock regularly battered his liver The once was a blasphemous man An infidel who loved West Ham"

[Lily Hammer]

CLUSTER FUCK!

[Lily Hammer]

Let's now steer the subject away Lest Allah and Mo make us pay With a sim sala bim They'll kick our heads in And bum us becasue they're so gay The once was a blasphemous man An infidel who loved West Ham