New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Joke Whole]

"Mohamed (peace be unto him). Had a liking for young ladies' quim. Bent her over a rock Then sank in his cock And banged her with vigour and vim. A village set close to a river Had a pervert, a taker not giver"

[easthambull]

Mohamed (peace be unto him). Had a liking for young ladies' quim With a wife or slave He could not behave But he nick-named his cock Tiny Tim Let's now steer the subject away Lest Allah and Mo make us pay

[Saul Bollox]

"An old Tom thought something's amiss When a ""cold sore"" popped during a kiss Her poor bloody punter Thought her a right munter, It was yellow and stunk of stale piss. Mohamed (peace be unto him). Had a liking for young ladies' quim."

[Saul Bollox]

"An old Tom thought something's amiss When a ""cold sore"" popped during a kiss Her poor bloody punter Thought her a right munter, It was yellow and stunk of stale piss. Mohamed (peace be unto him). Had a liking for young ladies' quim."

[easthambull]

"It is said that an apple a day keeps you fit, but the NHS say Don't eat to much fruit Instead, have a toot To guarantee we'll all be OK An old Tom thought something's amiss When a ""cold sore"" popped during a kiss"

[doomhunk]

"An old geezer raised on Green Street About his Mum would constantly bleat. Limericks writ like Yoda Might speak are a load'a bollocks, as Dave Gold will agree. It is said that an apple a day keeps you fit, but the NHS say..."

[doomhunk]

Seriously? Where was the development of Carroll's visit to the freezer? Fucking amateurs.

[Far East Hammer]

There was a musician called Keith Who followed a quite strange belief. A member of you-kip He thought himself hip Though it gave his band much grief An old geezer raised on Green Street About his Mum would constantly bleat

[Joke Whole]

That's MY Oops - sorry. Here's an observation quite stark Seems rodfarts doesn't rate our Mark The one he respects Is the skid in his kecks It's long and it's wet and it's dark. There was a musician called Keith Who followed a quite strange belief.

[Far East Hammer]

oops! Andy Carroll went out to his freezer Dressed up as a gay Julius Ceasar. His fancy dress Was a right mess He looked a right dodgy geezer Here's an observation quite stark Seems rodfarts doesn't rate our Mark

[Far East Hammer]

"A poster was ""bossing"" a thread That's what he thought - inside his head But how he did cough At his cunting off Soon did a WHOicide it's said Here's an observation quite stark Seems rodfarts doesn't rate our Mark"

[Joke Whole]

"Some posters think it a fine game To have more than one username But the site's biggest losers? One name but more users Now THAT is incredibly lame. A poster was ""bossing"" a thread That's what he thought - inside his head"

[doomhunk]

"Some posters think it a fine game To have more than one username. Me? I aped Jadie-May, posing as May DJ, but just like everyone else, it was lame. Andy Carroll went out to his freezer Dressed up as a gay Julius Ceasar."

[Far East Hammer]

In trying to prove they're a man Some posters will do all they can They think their bullshit Will be a big hit With Ratched or another woman Some posters think it a fine game To have more than one username

[Joke Whole]

A young lad from the Isle of Dogs Famous for shitting large logs The smell from these piles Would drift miles & miles And create many pea-souper fogs. In trying to prove they're a man Some posters will do all they can

[Joke Whole]

A young lad from the Isle of Dogs Famous for shitting large logs The smell from these piles Would drift miles & miles And create many pea-souper fogs. In trying to prove they're a man Some posters will do all they can

[Far East Hammer]

"One day in far off Timbuctu, A young maiden broke a tabou She prove a right fool Said she liked Millw*ll Everyone else gave a big ""boo"" A young lad from the Isle of Dogs Famous for shitting large logs"

[Saul Bollox]

"A girl from South Carolina Ran away to sea on a liner The captain that day, Said I'll lock you away, Unless I can stroke your vagina. Sorry, I couldn't help it One day in far off Timbuctu, A young maiden broke a tabou"

[easthambull]

On WHO everyone is a mate in trouble? Then we'll donate I won't complain if it's spent on cocaine Or a blow-up doll to deflate A girl from South Carolina Ran away to sea on a liner

[,]

A Muslim who spread a jihad Was described by Mo as a cad he said Nicola Sturgeon's one of 72 virgins and basically mate you've been had On WHO everyone is a mate in trouble? Then we'll donate

[easthambull]

"I've just bottled posting a rhyme, If I did I'd be banned for all time Come come don't be coy It will not annoy I'm sure that your rhyme's just sublime Deep breath A Muslim who spread a jihad Was described by Mo as a cad"

[Saul Bollox]

"Mohammed's a most popular name For pimps with young girls on the game And also, I've heard, Of blokes doing bird. The prophet would say it's a shame. I've just bottled posting a rhyme, If I did I'd be banned for all time (true story)"

[Saul Bollox]

"Mohammed's a most popular name For pimps with young girls on the game And also, I've heard, Of blokes doing bird. The prophet would say it's a shame. I've just bottled posting a rhyme, If I did I'd be banned for all time (true story)"

[easthambull]

"Did 8games commit a sin with his anti Allardyce spin? I too have no truck With the fat fuck Or Nolan, his conjoined twin Mohammed's a most popular name For pimps with young girls on the game"

[,]

"My neighbour whose called Mr.Marks, Spend his day hanging round parks see, he is a peeper at the uniformed keeper I've been told this by copper's narks Did 8games commit a sin with his anti Allardyce spin?"