New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Mike Oxsaw]

There was an old man from Kirklees Whose piles hung down to his knees. And at every fart They'd often depart And end up somewhere in the trees. There once was an old maid from Crewe Who didn't know quite what to do.

[Helmut Shown]

"So Trump has got back in the race, You think he can win the first place? What gives him the edge Is his plenty of wedge that puts a grin on his orange face There was an old man from Kirklees Whose piles hung down to his knees"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"I was fooled by that svelte lady boy With a face like Helen of Troy. Imagine my shock, When she whipped out her cock, And asked me to play with ""her toy"". So Trump has got back in the race, You think he can win the first place?"

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

I've noticed his poetry has ceased What has happened to Far East For what I can tell He may be unwell With a nasty infection of yeast I was fooled by that svelte lady boy With a face like Helen of Troy

[Helmut Shown]

"The ho said a fuck in the arse Would cost me a ton, I'll pass An uphill garden Caused my penis to harden But a hundred quid? That's a farce I've noticed his poetry has ceased What has happened to Far East?"

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

"A snooker player holed a black, The first one he'd had in the sack Off to China went this fellow To pot himself a yellow In her brown and the pink, bareback The ho said a fuck in the arse Would cost me a ton, I'll pass"

[arsene york-hunt]

"There was a young girl from Corfu Who found sweetcorn in her poo, She told everyone, She had eaten none Since August twenty twenty two. A snooker player holed a black, The first one he'd had in the sack."

[Helmut Shown]

An elderly man from New Delhi Couldn't see his cock for his belly With a lazy lob He could just see his knob A diet? Not on your nelly There was a young girl from Corfu Who found sweetcorn in her poo

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

There was a young man from Caracas A virtuoso on the maracas In my previous ditty I said Rovers not City I really must be going crackers An elderly man from New Delhi Couldn't see his cock for his belly

[Helmut Shown]

So we'll play with just the leftovers In our match against Bristol Rovers It wasn't too pretty Against Bristol CITY Have you had a few pints down the Drovers? There was a young man from Caracas A virtuoso on the maracas

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

"It is said that Curly Ambrose, Picked jam from between his toes Not the kind that you see In a Devon cream tea The one that's quite bad on the nose So we'll play with just the leftovers In our match against Bristol Rovers"

[arsene york-hunt]

"My balls they smell so sweaty Like the cheese you put on spaghetti, My old lady said gosh, Try to have a wash, You smell like a fucking dead yeti. It is said that Curly Ambrose, Picked jam from between his toes"

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

Btw HS...good one

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

Bored of fishing on the river bank He decided it was time for a wank But the old curmudgeon Used the mouth of a gudgeon Better than the cսnt of a skank My balls they smell so sweaty Like the cheese you put on spaghetti

[Helmut Shown]

I think I'm about to cry I just caught my knob in my fly Who’d think that a zip Could cause such a rip From my balls to my old jap’s eye Bored of fishing on the river bank He decided it was time for a wank

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

"When at school it came as a shock, When the headmistress sucked my cock But the dinner bell went Before she made me content Leaving me hard as a rock I think I'm about to cry I just caught my knob in my fly"

[arsene york-hunt]

"He pulled out from her hairy arse, The penetration? Was hard and was fast. Then he sucked from her bum The shit mixed with cum, A romantic tale had come to pass. When at school it came as a shock, When the headmistress sucked my cock."

[arsene york-hunt]

"He pulled out from her hairy arse, The penetration? Was hard and was fast. Then he sucked from her bum The shit mixed with cum, A romantic tale had come to pass. When at school it came as a shock, When the headmistress sucked my cock."

[Mike Oxsaw]

"Walking through the park today I saw a couple having it away Bereft of all habits Were at it like rabbits. ""These nuns,"" I thought, ""Possibly gay."" He pulled out from her hairy arse, The penetration? Was hard and was fast."

[Helmut Shown]

I once knew a bird from Skegness Who had cum stains all over her dress A failed panty liner And a leaking vagina Left quite an embarrassing mess Walking through the park today I saw a couple having it away

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

"You can get work in modern TV If your BAME, gay, or a raspberry If you are white They don't give a shite You're truly fucked, you see I once knew a bird from Skegness Who had cum stains all over her dress"

[arsene york-hunt]

*you're

[arsene york-hunt]

"The west has gone gung-ho again, Into Yemen with missile and plane. Houthis aren't averse, To attacking commerce , Which passes through the shipping lane. You can get work in modern TV If your BAME, gay, or a raspberry"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"TV programmers must think that we're freaks showing reality, cooking and antiques But, don't forget dopes, Who are hooked on the soaps, So much they will binge-watch for weeks. The west has gone gung-ho again, Into Yemen with missile and plane."

[Helmut Shown]

"After sucking a her new bloke's knob. She got a chancre on her gob. Her breath far from floral Through risky unsafe oral With a lump like a corn on the cob TV programmers must think that we're freaks showing reality, cooking and antiques"