New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[arsene york-hunt]

"I ate some rough Chicken Chow Mein And won't do that ever again, The persistent faeces, In small bits and pieces, Bursting forth like uncorked Champagne. After sucking a her new bloke's knob. She got a chancre on her gob."

[Mike Oxsaw]

A bloke from near Highgate Hill Took a penis enlargement pill. His todger grew so It's glans was in Bow Prompting a call to the Bill I ate some rough Chicken Chow Mein And won't do that ever again

[arsene york-hunt]

"A bloke I knew only as Kyle Had breath that was unquestionably vile, He had dental thrush, His teeth he'd not brush, You'd see food in his teeth when he'd smile. A bloke from near Highgate Hill Took a penis enlargement pill."

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

There once was a bloke from Welling. Who stole dirty drawers for smelling The well used knicker In his pants caused a flicker That ended up being a swelling A bloke I knew only as Kyle Had breath that was unquestionably vile

[arsene york-hunt]

"As he stood up about to depart He let out a very loud fart. Not the thing to do, At a job interview, It's not considered too* smart. There once was a bloke from Welling. Who stole dirty drawers for smelling"

[arsene york-hunt]

"As he stood up about to depart He let out a very loud fart. Not the thing to do, At a job interview, It's not considered to smart. There once was a bloke from Welling. Who stole dirty drawers for smelling"

[Helmut Shown]

I’ve just had my fourth Covid shot And I'm really not feeling that hot When someone sees this rhyme “You’re wasting your time” But he’s just an antivax twot As he stood up about to depart He let out a very loud fart

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

She left Blighty for foreign shores For a beach where she didn’t wear drawers Lying there in the buff She got sand in her muff She hated the fucking Azores I've just had my fourth Covid shot And I'm really not feeling that hot

[Helmut Shown]

"Words we should not use cause affront Like shit, prick, fucking and cսnt With those words verboten Use shag quim and scrotum Difficult, but I‚Äôll have a punt She left Blighty for foreign shores For a beach where she didn‚Äôt wear drawers"

[arsene york-hunt]

"My farting is getting robust So changing my diet is a must, And my faeces too, Has an unusual hue, It comes out a dark greenish rust. Words we should not use cause affront Like shit, prick, fucking and cսnt"

[Mike Oxsaw]

So the carpetbagger sent back her gong She’ll be inside before long. The writ's in the post So she'll make the most Of her time outside bars with a song. My farting is getting robust So changing my diet is a must

[Helmut Shown]

"A young gay man went out in Brum, Looking for some casual bum But there was no rough trade Even if he paid So he ended up sat on his thumb So the carpetbagger sent back her gong She’ll be inside before long"

[Helmut Shown]

"A young gay man went out in Brum, Looking for some casual bum But there was no rough trade Even if he paid So he ended up sat on his thumb So the carpetbagger sent back her gong She’ll be inside before long"

[Helmut Shown]

"A young gay man went out in Brum, Looking for some casual bum But there was no rough trade Even if he paid So he ended up sat on his thumb So the carpetbagger sent back her gong She’ll be inside before long"

[arsene york-hunt]

"Is the ball that they use too light? Or is it just that their shooting is shite? Is the pressure too great They're in a nervous state, And their sphincters may be too tight. A young gay man went out in Brum, Looking for some casual bum"

[Helmut Shown]

The Americans. Back to the moon? Oh! Whoops! May have spoken too soon They talk a good game But now who's to blame? No Brit's reputation to impugn? Is the ball that they use too light? Or is it just that their shooting is shite?

[Mike Oxsaw]

"For a gender studies graduate, Unemployment seems to be her fate. But, who'd take a punt On a silly young cսnt? Her prospects are not looking great. The Americans. Back to the moon? Oh! Whoops! May have spoken too soon"

[arsene york-hunt]

"I only heard in the last hour Of the death of the great Beckenbauer The Krauts of today, Have gone badly astray, In fact they're a fucking shower. For a gender studies graduate, Unemployment seems to be her fate"

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

"I‚Äôm finding it so very wearing To stop my grandsons from swearing Tho I don‚Äôt blame them one bit Saying fuck, cսnt and shit As I also find West Ham despairing I only heard in the last hour Of the death of the great Beckenbauer"

[Helmut Shown]

"I was trying to empty my guts, But could only do two little nuts But the smell was still foul Trying to empty my bowel Does everyone get this with their butts? I’m finding it so very wearing To stop my grandsons from swearing"

[arsene york-hunt]

"I wish I could say something witty ''bout our performance today against City Words fail me today, The way that we play, Can only be described as shitty. I was trying to empty my guts, But could only do two little nuts"

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

"Moyes has dished up some shit None bad as today, I'll admit It's the same old song His tactics are wrong Anymore of this and I quit I wish I could say something witty ''bout our performance today against City"

[Helmut Shown]

"A tart in the Champs Elisees, Made quite a few francs every day. Frenchmen out on a binge She'd hawk them her minge With a blowjob for an entrée Moyes has dished up some shit None bad as today, I'll admit"

[arsene york-hunt]

"He squeezed hard for his stool to pass On release the water splashed his arse When he looked in the bog, It was a phantom log, He exclaimed ""Wot de fockin' raas"". A tart in the Champs Elisees, Made quite a few francs every day."

[Helmut Shown]

He banged this young girl in the muff She said that it wasn't enough So he pulled out his knob And they got on the job And now she's been stuck up the duff He squeezed hard for his stool to pass On release the water splashed his arse