New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Helmut Shown]

"I went to the chippie for plaice, And a very large chips, just in case The cumulative effects are better than sex I pondered while feeding my face I landed myself in the cart I came home as pissed as a fart"

[Helmut Shown]

"I went to the chippie for plaice, And a very large chips, just in case The cumulative effects are better than sex I pondered while feeding my face I landed myself in the cart I came home as pissed as a fart"

[les marteaux]

"WHO's betting thread is just magic But results can sometimes be tragic, One loser, I see Threw himself in the sea, And was eaten by creatures pelagic. I went to the chippie for plaice, And a very large chips, just in case"

[Son of Sam]

"A young man with a very big nose, One of those that I think God had chose To use his big hooter As a cock when he'd root her Her orgasms sometimes made her froze WHO's betting thread is just magic But results can sometimes be tragic"

[les marteaux]

"A posh young lady, Carolina On a trip on an ocean liner Each night in her berth Fucked for all she was worth With an Interior Designer. A young man with a very big nose, One of those that I think God had chose"

[Helmut Shown]

"West Ham Online's full of real pricks, Spouting extreme right wing politics. They're telling a story When they say they're a Tory When they're all EDL fanatics A posh young lady, Carolina On a trip on an ocean liner"

[Helmut Shown]

"West Ham Online's full of real pricks, Spouting extreme right wing politics. They're telling a story When they say they're a Tory When they're all EDF fanatics A posh young lady, Carolina On a trip on an ocean liner"

[les marteaux]

"Said Cameron with a quivering lip ""We're not afraid of UKIP"", But when in bed tucked, He thought: "" Now we are fucked, I'm captain of a fast sinking ship."" West Ham Online's full of real pricks, Spouting extreme right wing politics."

[Helmut Shown]

We're

[Helmut Shown]

"In a night club man from the army Once picked up Lucy Verasamy He ran out of luck When suggesting a fuck As she found him far too smarmy Said Cameron with a quivering lip ""We not afraid of UKIP"""

[les marteaux]

"A wily old spinster from Cork Went out one cold day for a walk, And just for a lark, She went to the park Where a man showed her his piece of pork. In a night club man from the army Once picked up Lucy Verasamy"

[Joke Whole]

"The Queen, Michael Douglas and me All met at the White House for tea. Oh! How do you do! Is that one lump or two? Did anyone else get in free? A wily old spinster from Cork Went out one cold day for a walk"

[doomhunk]

"An old grinning chimp called Zola Ate fruit bat and caught the Ebola. He faded and died, Like his poor West Ham side. No more a Porsche, now a knackered Corolla. The Queen, Michael Douglas and me All met at the White House for tea."

[Lily Hammer]

"WHO posters are mostly great fists, And many, right wing extemists Who flap that right wing And so spin and spin The opposite way to the leftists. An old grinning chimp called Zola Ate fruit bat and caught the Ebola"

[les marteaux]

"Comrad Stalin still has a knack, for being popular with political weirdos on crack . His lifetime was merrier With lifeime made merrier By Lavrentiy Beria Despite the compassion and feeling for other human beings, especially political opponents, he did lack. (Last line written in the spirit of line 2) WHO posters are mostly great fists, And many, right wing extemists"

[Hammer and Pickle]

"A Japanese man, for a jape wore a Superman costume and cape He shat on your Nan's fanny, And declared ""I is a Tranny!"" and never was heard of again. Comrad Stalin still has a knack, for being popular with political weirdos on crack ..."

[doomhunk]

"While spending a week out in Spain I saw a girl squatting over a drain. I maneuvered to see If she would, indeed, pee, and a Quad ran me down in the lane. A Japanese man, for a jape wore a Superman costume and cape..."

[Helmut Shown]

Whilst sampling the beaches of Split I stumbled and nearly had a fit Face planting the muff of a girl in the buff So I lingered and tongued round her clit While spending a week out in Spain I saw a girl squatting over a drain

[easthambull]

"In a brothel in Vladivostok, A young girl took off my left sock But left on the right Which now seems quite trite And Vodka'd my bollocks and cock Whilst sampling the beaches of Split I stumbled and nearly had a fit"

[les marteaux]

*bean

[les marteaux]

"There once was a woman from France Who loved to strip naked and dance It caused quite a scene When flicking her been While maintaining an open leg stance. In a brothel in Vladivostok, A young girl took off my left sock"

[Lily Hammer]

"A cyclist, whilst making his way, To work, dressed in Lycra, did say, ""Though I'm sweating buckets, ""I have to say fuck it! ""Becuase I'm so wonderfully gay."" There once was a woman from France Who loved to strip naked and dance"

[Lily Hammer]

"A cyclist, whilst making his way, To work, dressed in Lycra, did say, ""Though I'm sweating buckets, ""I have to say fuck it! ""Becuase I'm so wonderfully gay."" There once was a woman from France Who loved to strip naked and dance"

[Joke Whole]

"An African lady called Lola, Contracted the virus ebola Her bits all fell off Each time she did cough, What's worse? She was also Bi-Polar. A cyclist, whilst making his way, To work, dressed in Lycra, did say,"

[les marteaux]

"A chubby lass called Louise, Was regularly found on her knees... Facing her boyfriend Joe Giving felatio But before this he had to say please. An African lady called Lola, Contracted the virus ebola"