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New Limerick Thread

Posted: 30 Aug 2014, 19:44
by les marteaux
Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 06 Jan 2024, 08:33
by Mike Oxsaw
"A young girl from County Kildare, Had crab lice in her pubic hair. She saw them as pets So went to the vets To get them some medical care. He banged this young girl in the muff She said that it wasn't enough"

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 06 Jan 2024, 03:59
by arsene york-hunt
"A yuppie who moved to Docklands Was very free with his hands, Whether fingering sluts, Scratching his own nuts, Or fondling mamary glands. A young girl from County Kildare, Had crab lice in her pubic hair."

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 06 Jan 2024, 01:31
by Helmut Shown
"A girlfriend i had was queer She liked me to cum in her ear As I proffered my knob To stick in her gob She turned to one side, I fear A yuppie who moved to Docklands Was very free with his hands"

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 06 Jan 2024, 01:03
by Hello Mrs. Jones
"Hiss hiss, hiss-hiss-hiss...hiss-hiss-hiss, Hiss HISS, hiss-hiss-hiss...hiss-hiss-hiss, Oh, my lord You're obviously bored I think you're just taking the piss A girlfriend i had was queer She liked me to cum in her ear"

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 05 Jan 2024, 22:32
by Mike Oxsaw
"A black man, a Chinese and two Jocks, Were comparing the size of their cocks A bloke from down south, Checked them out in his mouth And one of the cunts gave him pox In the interests of diversity and inclusivity, I am starting the next verse in the style of a snake: Hiss hiss, hiss-hiss-hiss...hiss-hiss-hiss, Hiss HISS, hiss-hiss-hiss...hiss-hiss-hiss,"

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 05 Jan 2024, 17:28
by arsene york-hunt
"My weird uncle named Bert Would go to the pub in a skirt. And if, by the way You don't call him them/they You'll get a knee where it will hurt. A black man, a Chinese and two Jocks, Were comparing the size of their cocks"

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 05 Jan 2024, 16:11
by Hello Mrs. Jones
I knew that the girl had class Shoving a finger up my arse But when I was pissed She tried her whole fist Would I want that again? I'll pass My weird uncle named Bert Would go to the pub in a skirt

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 05 Jan 2024, 16:11
by Hello Mrs. Jones
I knew that the girl had class Shoving a finger up my arse But when I was pissed She tried her whole fist Would I want that again? I'll pass My weird uncle named Bert Would go to the pub in a skirt

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 05 Jan 2024, 13:13
by Helmut Shown
On Sunday best eleven home ground Will put us in the next round But with Moyes in control No win at a stroll And his substitutions dumbfound I knew that the girl had class Shoving a finger up my arse

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 05 Jan 2024, 13:13
by Helmut Shown
On Sunday best eleven home ground Will put us in the next round But with Moyes in control No win at a stroll And his substitutions dumbfound I knew that the girl had class Shoving a finger up my arse

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 05 Jan 2024, 11:54
by ,
"A West Country Carrot Cruncher Had a sister, a keen rug muncher This malevolent dyke Has just stolen my bike When I find her I’m going to punch her On Sunday best eleven home ground Will put us in the next round"

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 05 Jan 2024, 05:09
by Hello Mrs. Jones
"The poet Percival Shelley, Was a fan of KY jelly Not wanting to sound dim But I've never heard of him Is he someone on the telly? A West Country Carrot Cruncher Had a sister, a keen rug muncher"

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 04 Jan 2024, 22:14
by arsene york-hunt
"There was a young man from Korea Had a violent bout of diarrhoea, An unfortunate bloke, His illness, no joke, Caused by drinking Tia Maria, The poet Percival Shelley, Was a fan of KY jelly"

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 04 Jan 2024, 18:26
by Helmut Shown
"Bristol is a proper shit hole No life and definitely no soul But the worst thing by far Is them shouting ""oo arr"" Whenever they get near a goal There was a young man from Korea Had a violent bout of diarrhoea"

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 04 Jan 2024, 18:20
by Helmut Shown
An elderly vicar named Giles Had a serious case of the piles It was quite the display As he bent down to pray Split trousers caused a few smiles There was a young man from Korea Had a violent bout of diarrhoea

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 04 Jan 2024, 18:05
by Alwaysaniron
"In a bar I picked up a stripper, But her fanny stunk like a kipper Not a great fan of fish I avoided that dish And shoved it dry up her shitter. Bristol is a proper shit hole No life and definitely no soul"

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 04 Jan 2024, 18:01
by Hello Mrs. Jones
"In a bar I picked up a stripper, But her fanny stunk like a kipper But the smell of her twat I'd forgotten 'bout that As she slowly undid my zipper An elderly vicar named Giles Had a serious case of the piles"

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 04 Jan 2024, 16:53
by arsene york-hunt
"I see the Blues have decided to chuck He that gives grannies a fuck Not very good lookers, Local brothel hookers. Who'd do anything for a buck. In a bar I picked up a stripper, But her fanny stunk like a kipper"

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 04 Jan 2024, 15:48
by Hello Mrs. Jones
They knew she'd had sex with a miner As she'd coal dust on her vagina For a bag of Nutty Slack She'd lain on her back And let him slip it inside 'er I see the Blues have decided to chuck He that gives grannies a fuck

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 04 Jan 2024, 14:10
by Helmut Shown
"Jesus called his disciples, then Said ""I'll make you fishers of men"" ""And it won't matter That they call you brown hatter Instead of Barbie choose Ken"" They knew she'd had sex with a miner As she'd coal dust on her vagina"

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 04 Jan 2024, 12:14
by arsene york-hunt
"A farmer dressed up as Bo Peep Intending to bugger his sheep But the Ovis Aries, Caught his scent in the breeze, So he fucked off to bed for a sleep. Jesus called his disciples, then Said ""I'll make you fishers of men"""

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 03 Jan 2024, 17:13
by Hello Mrs. Jones
As he sat by the pitch on a stool Moyes started pulling his tool He may as well have a wank Cos the football is rank Our David is nobody's fool A farmer dressed up as Bo Peep Intending to bugger his sheep

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 03 Jan 2024, 17:03
by Helmut Shown
Whilst drinking a pint of real ale The young girl was feeling quite frail. When you quaff London Pride and you get it inside Your arse will be blowing a gale As he sat by the pitch on a stool Moyes started pulling his tool

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 03 Jan 2024, 06:28
by Mike Oxsaw
"There was a young man from Belize, Whose smegma stank of blue cheese. But, spread on some bread, A few people said ""I'll have more of that, if you please!"". Whilst drinking a pint of real ale The young girl was feeling quite frail."

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 03 Jan 2024, 01:20
by arsene york-hunt
"I really like a girl who spits Especially one with big tits But I don't like the flowers That hog the bog for hours, When suff'ring a dose of the shits. There was a young man from Belize, Whose smegma stank of blue cheese."