She had a big predilection To suck on her boyfriend's erection To be noshing his plums With her voracious gums Was absolute fucking perfection After scoring Chloe whipped off her top Causing millions of eyeballs to pop

Oops☺️

Oops☺️

A Tory MP likes to touch Other men's bums and their crotch And part of the deal Is a good slap-up meal Though he always insists they go dutch I was watching the telly last night When in the corner of my line of sight

A Tory MP likes to touch Other men's bums and their crotch And part of the deal Is a good slap-up meal Though he always insists they go dutch I was watching the telly last night When in the corner of my line of sight

A Tory MP likes to touch Other men's bums and their crotch And part of the deal Is a good slap-up meal Though he always insists they go dutch I was watching the telly last night When in the corner of my line of sight

A Tory MP likes to touch Other men's bums and their crotch And part of the deal Is a good slap-up meal Though he always insists they go dutch I was watching the telly last night When in the corner of my line of sight

A Tory MP likes to touch Other men's bums and their crotch Always part of the deal Is a good slap-up meal Though the pervie insists they go dutch I was watching the telly last night When in the corner of my line of sight

There once was a man from near Froome Who hid in the girls changing room For a mischievous peek At perhaps a bum cheek Unaware he’d been captured on Zoom So the transfer window is now open And here we are frantically hoping

"To carry my kids and dog Rover I really need a huge Landrover 6 kids and my Doris Plus a Great Dane called Maurice Won't fit in my '85 Nova Zlatans elbow will carry a price But his head got stamped on, which was nice"

"To carry my kids and dog Rover I really need a huge Landrover 6 kids and my Doris Plus a Great Dane called Maurice Won't fit in my '85 Nova Zlatans elbow will carry a price But his head got stamped on, which was nice"

"A young prostitute called Ludmilla, Had a punter who played for the Villa He had quite a poker That Nige Reo Coker In fact he was frightened he'd kill 'er A gorilla at Regents Park zoo Was imprisoned but what could he do"

"With this exit a return we shall see On the ferries, of the duty free. From Calais to Dover They'll be sick and hungover And vomiting into the sea How come every striker we chase Wants to fuck off to some other place"

"West Ham star Dimitri Payet From a coup franc again finds the net Some season, some journey The player of the tourney I know that's where I'll place my bet At a hamburger joint in Berlin Sat a man with a very long chin"

"OK, here's something that I'll betcha Many Chelsea fans switched to Leicester Their allegiance had swung When the season was young And their title hopes started to fester When I took my car in for a service The mechanic was noticeably nervous"

"A lovely young woman called Esther Mitty Sucked off every last player of Leicester City, As limericks go This is shit, don't ya know And it won't be your last, more's the pity With 3 games to go who'd have thought The top 4 was still being sought"

"A lovely young woman called Esther Mitty Sucked off every last player of Leicester City, As limericks go This is shit, don't ya know And it won't be your last, more's the pity With 3 games to go who'd have thought The top 4 was still being sought"

"Last night while I was masturbating, My wife, next to me, was berating She said ""Wanking's not fine In the B &Q line"" "" 'Cause dozens of people are waiting"" I'll admit I want England to lose Until someone else fills Hodgsons shoes"

"I once took a bus to the sea I like a good holiday, me. With me sarnies and flask What more could you ask Then I had fish and chips for me tea. On the ferry from Calais to Dover I saw a fat lady bent over"

"Now please chaps don't be such big tools, Just follow the Limerick rule It's quite simple you see You can't follow? Dear me I bet you were brilliant at school I bought 2 spare tickets for Stoke But the price that I paid was a joke"

"He was riding his old motor scooter, When he started sounding his hooter For the bloke up his arse Was driving too fast Whilst texting on his laptop computer! When I heard Dimi signed a new deal I confess I let out a small squeal"

"Oops that was meant for the Payet thread. * Slinks out, red faced*"

"HairyHammer Please don't tell us you write songs too ""There was a woman from Arabia Had a large wart on her labia, Lovers kissed it for fun Though she wanted it gone As the itching drove her to Insania."" ""A short man thought he'd take a chance, And ask a tall lady if she wanted to dance"" I mean...

"There once was a chappie called Ted, Who craved for a three in a bed. He achieved it one day Playing darts, by the way ""180"" he said. It's becoming more likely I see That Trump gets the presidency"

"While listening to Charlie Mingus I fancied doing cunnilingus She said "" I'm on blob"" "" but I'll gobble your knob"" And tickle your balls with me fingers"" At a bus stop in Tottenham Court Road Stood a person of no fixed abode"