New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Helmut Shown]

A young lady known as Mss Fox Made a fortune in Dagenham Docks She'd treat all their dicks With a few filthy tricks When finished they found they had pox A young Muslim girl from Tehran Was caught having sex in a barn

[Saul Bollox]

"A young lady from Liechtenstein Incapable of saying ""nein!"" Got bum-fucked 'til sore By the old bloke next door, Then shit moustached. the dirty schwein. A young lady known as Miss Fox Made a fortune in Dagenham Docks"

[Saul Bollox]

"A young lady from Liechtenstein Incapable of saying ""nein!"" Got bumfucked 'til sore By the old bloke next door, Then shit moustached. thedirty schwein. A young lady know as Miss Fox Made a fortune in Dagenham Docks"

[Far East Hammer]

"Insomnia has made me forlorn, Sitting up watching internet porn Now it's a bore It's got quite sore I'll buy some blister cream come dawn A young lady from Liechtenstein Incapable of saying ""nein!"""

[Saul Bollox]

"Noble asked that prize dipstick Roy What are you playing at old boy? No hope it would seem To get in your team, More chance of you being in Playboy Insomnia has made me forlorn, Sitting up watching internet porn"

[Far East Hammer]

"The captain, in charge of his boat Was trying to keep it afloat Taking on water More than it oughta Soon it was under the moat Noble asked that prize dipstick Roy What are you playing at old boy?"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"There once was a gay bombardier Who had a very unattractive rear For this military man A limerick that for some reason really doesn't quite scan And that's something else that is queer. The captain, in charge of his boat Was trying to keep it afloat"

[HairyHammer]

"A police car just shot down the street And nearly knocked me off my feet My mouth then released The words fuck the police And my arse, a brown smelly peat. There once was a gay bombardier Who had a very unattractive rear"

[HairyHammer]

"A police car just shot down the street And nearly knocked me off my feet My mouth then released The words fuck the police And my arse, a brown smelly peat. There once was a gay bombardier Who had a very unattractive rear"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"I didn't like my sushi It all seemed rather fishy It came in a pail The size of a whale, And not on a pretty pink dishy. A police car just shot down the street And nearly knocked me off my feet"

[Far East Hammer]

At a hamburger joint in Berlin Sat a man with a very long chin Jimmy Hill Feeling ill Said this burger's fit for the bin I didn't like my sushi It all seemed rather fishy

[cosmo smallpiece]

"West Ham star Dimitri Payet From a coup franc again finds the net Some season, some journey The player of the tourney I know that's where I'll place my bet At a hamburger joint in Berlin Sat a man with a very long chin"

[joe blob]

"You don't have to Rhyme all the time A similar sounding word is just fine Some Lim'ricks in this game. Without saying a name Have no metre, no reason nor rhyme. West Ham star Dimitri Payet, From a coup franc again finds the net"

[HairyHammer]

In a brothel in Stockton on Tees Where the girls do anything to please A Millwall fan sat After a big Barnsley slap Pleading hug me my cock is deceased. You don't have to Rhyme all the time A similar sounding word is just fine

[Saul Bollox]

"There once was a geezer from Stoke Wanted anal sex with a bloke, So he picked up a queer, in a bar that was near, And gave the blokes sphincter a poke. In a brothel in Stockton on Tees, Where the girls do anything to please."

[ammerman]

there once was a geezer from stoke who wanted anal sex with a bloke

[ammerman]

a man from bridgetown barbados lay abed at night having a toss he just couldnt cum with his fist up his bum until he fantasized about his best mate ross.

[Saul Bollox]

"I've spent two months just touring the city And most of it's not very pretty, Having just had a wank, My mind has gone blank, I can't think of a rhyme that is witty. A man from Bridgetown Barbados, Lay abed at night having a toss"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"They've elected Reagan, and now there is Trump The next President, what a chump! He don't have a clue What presidents do For guidance, he'll watch Forrest Gump. I've spent two months just touring the city And most of it's not very pretty"

[Helmut Shown]

"A very fat woman called Mabel, Dropped her drawers and sat on the table Not an appetising dish With the smell of old fish Your libido it would surely disable They've elected Reagan, and now there is Trump The next President, what a chump!"

[Saul Bollox]

"Do we stay in or come out? There's a lot of confusion and doubt This Europa cup A bit of a fuck up, Throwing it is a reasonable shout. A very fat woman called Mabel, Dropped her drawers and sat on the table"

[Helmut Shown]

There was a young man from Wick In a brothel could not make his pick As they lined up the tarts The first one who farts Is the one to jump on his dick Do we stay in or come out? There's a lot of confusion and doubt

[Saul Bollox]

"Arrested while walking about They saw his cock hanging out Police woman Crick Said ""You make me sick Indecency rules you can't flout."" There was a young man from Wick In a brothel could not make his pick."

[Helmut Shown]

"A cute young frauline from Heilbronn Wore a short dress with no knickers on Tripping over the cat Exposed her large twat Left, with all elegance gone Arrested while walking about They saw his cock hanging out"

[Saul Bollox]

"I'm up for a slap and a tickle But my nature is really quite fickle I stopped doing this To go for a piss, But, sadly, it was just a trickle, A cute young frauline from Heilbronn Wore a short dress with no knickers on"