I guessed orange but it was chocolate; I guessed toffee but it was peanut; I guessed strawberry but it was coffee. I was wrong on so many Revels.

"Regarding tonight's match, I've got to be honest. I've not been this nervous about a semi since the time I watched Brokeback Mountain!"

Whoa Black Betty Anagram Boat belt wacky Anagram Black Betty had a child Anagram Hatchback badly tiled Anagram

The other night I watched a UB40 tribute band called WD40... They were a bit rusty at first but got better as the evening went on!

Just reading that there's a small island off the coast of Italy which is inhabited by 5 million Sicillion people. That's the biggest number I've ever heard.

"Government expected to announce that as from July 4th West Ham players will be permitted to visit other teams penalty areas for short periods providing they pose no threat to the opposition. It hurts, but tbf it is funny. Tweet by well known Millwall fan, Danny Baker."

"My grandad always said, ""as one door closes, another one opens."" Lovely man, terrible cabinet maker."

"I met a Dalek in the pub who claimed he was from Devon. I asked him ""whereabouts in Devon mate?""ù He replied ""Exeter mate, Exeter mate.""ù"

Patisserie Valerie's finance chief has just been arrested after police discovered unusual turnover.

"It's sad news about the NME closing... I used to keep mine in a pile near my bed, just in front of my US sitcom DVDs... I'd keep my Friends close, and my NMEs closer!"

What can I say? It made me laugh...

"I have a Polish friend who is a roadie for a band. I have a Czech one too, I have a Czech one too, I have a Czech one too."

"Apparently, North Korea now has a missile that can hit New York, which is a bit scary... If it can make it there, it can make it anywhere."

"I've just been watching the Women's Beach Volleyball and there's been a terrible wrist injury... It's alright, I should be all healed up by the weekend!"