"There was a young girl called Maria, Spread a new strain of gonorrhea Up the bum was she laid That`s where it was made And blended with her diahorrea"

"Oh the days of Bobby, Billy and Trev Of Alvin and Ronnie and Dev Pop,Muffin,Ludo TC, Sarge and Psycho James could have been known as ""The Rev"" The best player we all ever saw Was the sublime and unique Bobby Moore"

"A man with a fetish for piss Was dating a very fine miss Although posh she was fat And her thing was scat So they revelled in toilet time bliss Tho they left out Derbach, the wanker Our bowling looks poor in Sri Lanka"

"There was a young man from Daytona, Had a bad itch on his glans corona. Each time it swelled The poor bugger yelled And scratched his embarrassing boner A young lady from Northern Algiers Had piss flaps like elephants ears"

"Away to scouse cunts we are next Our record against them makes me vexed Since first Devonshires prance Then Franks corner dance We really do seem to be hexed Scouse gobshite Tony Bellew Is the ""star"" of this weeks pay per view"

"So Winston will be on his bike Is there something that he doesn't like We`ve been dropped in the pooh By our own "" number 2"" Wanting a whopping great salary hike Robs lad, young Elliott Lee Was sent out on loan, by the sea......"

"As I stared at WHO during the night I read something that gave me a fright My amusing pooh rhyme Posted a day after time This Tiddiron, he`s not very bright. 1,000 have been in my bed Claimed Hucknell from Simply Red....."

"A man looked upon his fresh shits, Which contained all sorts of strange bits. His wife, quite the perv, With vigour and verve, Smeared it all over her tits With the euros banked from Bale, The lillywhites could surely not fail........"

Stood waiting to go to the loo She farted and then followed through By failing to clench The careless young wench Had ended up in the pooh A camp young man called Paul Well endowed but with only one ball

"A Japanese girl from Honshu, Combusted while sat on the loo, She`d ordered a phaal, With hot chilli dal, So was detonated by her own pooh. A chubby lass called Louise, Was regularly found on her knees..."