New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Saul Bollox]

"Scouse gobshite Tony Bellew Is the ""star"" of this weeks pay per view, Hardly A lister's club, If met in a pub, I'd ask him ""Who the fuck are you?"" Everyone from Liverpool's a prick, A neutron bomb may do the trick"

[tiddingtoniron]

"Away to scouse cunts we are next Our record against them makes me vexed Since first Devonshires prance Then Franks corner dance We really do seem to be hexed Scouse gobshite Tony Bellew Is the ""star"" of this weeks pay per view"

[Saul Bollox]

"This weekend, it's back to the league, Those internats. give me fatigue, All the shit about Blatter, Whom I'd like to batter, For his crookedness and his intrigue, Away to scouse cunts we are next Our record against them makes me vexed"

[Joke Whole]

"There once was a young nerophile, (???) When he saw a dead body he'd smile. 'twas Saville, not Young, (But he may too have been one) In true BBC DJ-like style. This weekend, it's back to the league, Those internats. give me fatigue"

[les marteaux]

"I've got a fucking awful cold It's making me feel really old I'll give you a tip Take a glass of Lemsip, And wash your old hankies with Bold, There once was a young nerophile, When he saw a dead body he'd smile."

[les marteaux]

"I've got a fucking awful cold It's making me feel really old I'll give you a tip Take a glass of Lemsip, And wash your old hankies with Bold, There once was a young nerophile, When he saw a dead body he'd smile."

[Far East Hammer]

"This Limerick thread is incredible The effect on one frankly , indelible And if they're too hard You're mentally scarred All-in-all most regrettable I've got a fucking awful cold It's making me feel really old"

[Son of Sam]

"In the jungle, the whining fat tart she's found the need to depart those opening three words got me strumming some chords and singing ""Wimoweh""s made me to start This Limerick thread is incredible The effect on one frankly , indelible"

[Helmut Shown]

"A young man from Canary Isles Had problems retaning his piles The solution to the dilemma Was a young girl called Emma He appears now in the Local police files In the jungle, the whining fat tart she's found the need to depart"

[les marteaux]

"Robs lad, young Elliott Lee Was sent out on loan, by the sea... He was shocked to the core When he walked in and saw, The changing rooms he said ""Fuck me!"" A young man from Canary Isles Had problems retaning his piles."

[tiddingtoniron]

"So Winston will be on his bike Is there something that he doesn't like We`ve been dropped in the pooh By our own "" number 2"" Wanting a whopping great salary hike Robs lad, young Elliott Lee Was sent out on loan, by the sea......"

[Helmut Shown]

Big Fat Sam's lazing in the sun with his moose-faced wife's wrinkled bum When viewed from behind Without being unkind Just like Steve Bruce just ready to come So Winston will be on his bike Is there something that he doesn't like

[easthambull]

While painting a small model plane I got the hues all wrong - again! Howard or Hef (was one of them deaf?) You can tell that I don't have a brain Big Fat Sam's lazing in the sun with his moose-faced wife's wrinkled bum

[Joke Whole]

A lady I know has a cat Which she always makes lick her twat As time she did pass It moved onto her arse Which did not resemble a mat While painting a small model plane I got the hues all wrong - again!

[Saul Bollox]

"A young girl with very long hair Would tuck it in her underwear Her long auburn locks Excite the local cocks, Most of whom don't have a prayer. A lady I know has a cat Which she always makes lick her twat"

[Helmut Shown]

"Fuck! I heard something that caused me to laugh, A bloke had a fit in the bath His wife, (very cold) Poured a scoop of Bold Not a full load but a half A young girl with very long hair Would tuck it in her underwear"

[Helmut Shown]

"Fuck! I heard something that caused me to laugh, A bloke had a fit in the bath His wife, (very cold) Poured a scoop of Bold Not a full load but a half A young girl with very long hair Would tuck it in her underwear"

[Helmut Shown]

"There once was a German called Schoen Who played football with ""Uli"" Hoene What he liked best by far Was his chocolate star Such behaviour we couldn't condone A young girl with very long hair Would tuck it in her underwear"

[Saul Bollox]

"There once was a German called SchÔøΩn Who played football with ""Uli"" Hoene But when he retired His interest expired Now posts lim'ricks and has the odd moan. I heard something that caused me to laugh, A bloke had a fit in the bath"

[easthambull]

"When sitting here having a shit The water'd splash back quite a bit It ran down my crack Then dripped off my sack It's lucky I don't have a clit There once was a German called SchÔøΩn Who played football with ""Uli"" Hoene"

[Helmut Shown]

There was once a WHO poster named Saul Through the Limerick thread he would trawl When our poetry's lax He would check our syntax Out of ten he'd give us fuck all When sitting here having a shit The water'd splash back quite a bit

[easthambull]

A thread has been started elsewhere One poster is causing despair Oh who can that be? I can't fucking see Quite frankly I'm having a mare. There was once a WHO poster named Saul Through the Limerick thread he would trawl

[Joke Whole]

"Easthambull and Joke Whole, sure enough Are writing some pretty good stuff You posted in haste... Mine's all cut & paste The lines of my own are quite rough. A thread has been started elsewhere One poster is causing despair"

[Saul Bollox]

"My bog roll is on the last sheet How, now, can I make my arse neat? The answer my son, Is to use a bum gun, Keeps tho old natal cleft nice and sweet. Easthambull and Joke Whole, sure enough Are writing some pretty good stuff"

[Saul Bollox]

"A nan with a prolapsed fat cսnt Was accosted whilst out on a hunt She shouted: Good Heavens, When raped by Ched Evans Who bent her and gave a rear shunt. Easthambull and Joke Whole, sure enough Are writing some pretty good stuff"