New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Saul Bollox]

"This Apple leak - it don't affect me I'm a face amongst losers, you see There's no-one who stares No-one even cares In fact I'm a nonentity. Next up it's those toe-rags from Hull A town famous for being quite dull"

[Joke Whole]

"From the West Stand Charles Dickens yelled out. ""Get rid of this fucking fat lout!"" The whole ground joined in And made such a din That the owners could be left in no doubt. This Apple leak - it don't affect me I'm a face amongst losers, you see?"

[Saul Bollox]

"The burghers of Newham agreed This football is boring indeed. It's this fucking fat Sam He does not give a damn, From his contract the cսnt should be freed. From the West Stand Charles Dickens yelled out. ""Get rid of this fucking fat lout!"""

[Monk~koknee]

"Shakespeare said to his friend ""For a lark, We should see a game at Upton Park When asked did it thrill He sucked on his quill ""Twas tragic like the Prince of Denmark"" The burghers of Newham agreed This football is boring indeed"

[Saul Bollox]

"Carlton Cole is still here I see I thought e would go on a free And with him and Vaz Te First on the list to play The Prem's laughing stock now are we. Shakespeare said to his friend ""For a lark, We should see a game at Upton Park"

[The Stoat]

"Is it worth even getting the hump, About the walrus, pig-headed chump He splashes the cash On bangers and mash No wonder he's so fucking plump Carlton Cole is still here I see I thought e would go on a free"

[Hermit Road]

"Our playing style needs some revision To avoid more hoots of derision But there's more chance of that Than our boss losing fat, While we're blinded by his so-called 'vision' Is it worth even getting the hump, About the walrus, pig-headed chump"

[Hermit Road]

I knew I shouldn't have wasted time making it good.

[Hermit Road]

"A German told me ""Allardyce- Has dropp'd Vest Ham right in die Scheiße"". A Frenchman concurred, Said the football was merde, Let's face it, it's now the zeitgeist. Is it worth even getting the hump, About a big, walrus resembling chump"

[Helmut Shown]

"A German told me ""Allardyce- Has dropp'd Vest Ham right in die Scheiße"". The fat northern berk Needs to be out of work This weekend would suffice Our playing style needs some revision To avoid more hoots of derision"

[les marteaux]

"I know a fat figure of hate, Whose flat overlooks Billingsgate, He truly has blighted, Our West Ham United, They should kick his fat arse out the gate. A German told me ""Allardyce- Has dropp'd Vest Ham right in die Scheiße""."

[Hermit Road]

"The midfielder Mohamed Diame Has joined up with fat Bruce's army He might well succeed, Outside Sam's company, Which will drive me a bit fucking barmy. I know a fat figure of hate, Whose flat overlooks Billingsgate,"

[les marteaux]

"When I think of that pillock Steve Bruce I can't help venting abuse, To me an affront, This fat nothern cսnt, I'd be happy to put on his noose. The midfielder Mohamed Diame Has joined up with fat Bruce's army"

[Helmut Shown]

"A poster, whilst faking outrage, Was completely unable to gauge His thespian art Was not worth a fart And he'll never appear on the stage When I think of that pillock Steve Bruce I can't help venting abuse"

[Joke Whole]

"There was a young man called Buck, Who when out on the lash, tried his luck After far too much beer He bedded a queer And the label ""shirtlifter"" has stuck. A poster, whilst faking outrage, Was completely unable to guage"

[les marteaux]

"A young lad from Chittagong Built himself a massive bong He filled it with crack Then he laid on his back, And had wet dreams of Rigobert Song There was a young man called Buck, Who when out on the lash, tried his luck"

[Far East Hammer]

Normality's back in it's stride As lower than tenth we reside That Dudley Dinosaur I can't stand anymore An arrogant cսnt I can't abide A young lad from Chittagong Built himself a massive bong

[Joke Whole]

"Only one porn baron called David Of our manager wants to get rid His foes keep a-bleatin' ""We really must keep him"" ""If seventeenth place is our bid."" Normality's back in it's stride As lower than tenth we reside"

[Far East Hammer]

A recalcitrant fellow from Leigh Would always respond angrily Just mention Allardyce 'Twas as if he had lice You could face his tirade or flee Only one porn baron called David Of our manager wants to get rid

[Far East Hammer]

A recalcitrant fellow from Leigh Would always respond angrily Just mention Allardyce 'Twas as if he had lice You could face his tirade or flee Only one porn baron called David Of our manager wants to get rid

[Monk~koknee]

A poster with passion for stuff Did one day appear rather gruff He opened this thread With a feeling of dread And decided enough was enough A recalcitrant fellow from Leigh Would always respond angrily

[Joke Whole]

"A fish head pie eater from Dudley Whose football tactics were quite muddley; If the game is a lake. Then it's easy to make A case for our style being ""Puddley"". A poster with passion for stuff Did one day appear rather gruff"

[Far East Hammer]

"His esteem is the size of a tower, But to us he's in charge of a shower It's not so funny Given the money Leaving a taste in the mouth quite sour A fish head pie eater from Dudley Whose football tactics were quite muddley"

[Hermit Road]

"I can't stand this Allardyce chap His selections and tactics are crap But I must be alone, 'Cos in the wharf he's enthroned, Where they greet him each day with a clap. His esteem is the size of a tower, But to us he's in charge of a shower"

[Helmut Shown]

Daniel Levy's a bit of a tit They say he's quite a slimy git He's spent the Bale cash On a load of old gash Shrewd? No more like fuckwit I can't stand this Allardyce chap His selections and tactics are crap