New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[inconsistant fc]

"There was a young man from Kinross who under his kilt suffered loss When asked if he cared, He loudly declared, ""Nay, Jimmy, Doohnt giva toss!"" I bird I knew from near Gloucester Was quite into one Colin Foster"

[,]

"There was a young girl from Bury, Who was desperate to lose her cherry she went down to Dover where a bloke bowled her over on the deck of a cross channel ferry There was a young man from Kinross who under his kilt suffered loss"

[Saul Bollox]

"In a rather unusual case A woman with a tattooed face This stunning young maid Asked ""you looking for trade"", She then took me back to her place There was a young girl from Bury, Who was desperate to lose her cherry"

[Saul Bollox]

"Oops There was a young girl from Bury, Who was desperate to lose her cherry"

[Saul Bollox]

"In a rather unusual case A woman with a tattooed face,"

[Briano]

"Chlamydia,VD and yeast My missus is one sexy beast She once had the pox Due to too many cocks So the labiido has somewhat decreased In a rather unusual case A woman with a tattooed face"

[Briano]

"Chlamydia,VD and yeast My missus is one sexy beast She once had the pox Due to too many cocks So the labiido has somewhat decreased In a rather unusual case A woman with a tattooed face"

[easthambull]

"Liverpool tarts are the best They keep secrets under their vests With hubcaps and gear Without any fear Of anyone feeling their breasts Chlamydia,VD and yeast My missus is one sexy beast"

[strong dreams]

Going out without any drawers Keeping cool or exhibitionist whores? Unless you're a granny As showing your fanny Will result in all manner of sores Liverpool tarts are the best They keep secrets under their vests

[Helmut Shown]

There once was a Scotchman from Troon Did very odd things with a spoon A six legged thing he scraped from his ring Whilst whistling a jaunty tune Going out without any drawers Keeping cool or exhibitionist whores?

[Saul Bollox]

"The Sweaty vote is too close to call And the journos are having a ball In Scotland the pound, Soon won't be around. Their currency, not worth fuck all. There once was a Scotchman from Troon Did very odd things with a spoon"

[easthambull]

By playing the Allardyce way They're driving the punters away The lying fat fuck Is having a suck Of Nolan's cock every day The Sweaty vote is too close to call And the journos are having a ball

[Helmut Shown]

"Fast asleep I woke up with a start, When my wife did a thunderous fart. She then followed through With a lump of wet poo Tearing her anus apart By playing the Allardyce way They're driving the punters away"

[Saul Bollox]

"I have this unfortunate friend Who badly damaged his bell end T'was in fact cut off So they wrapped it in cloth And took it to the Doctor's to mend. Fast asleep I woke up with a start, When my wife wife did a thunderous fart."

[Far East Hammer]

A pretty young hooker called Dot Had a slightly well worn balloon knot And that's not all From a kerb crawl That she'd enjoy all that's termed grot I have this unfortunate friend Who badly damaged his bell end

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

I had my nude photos leaked online Yet of mass interest there's still no sign The size of your willy made you look silly though the rest of your body was fine A pretty young hooker called Dot Had a slightly well worn balloon knot

[Far East Hammer]

Economic migrants in Calais Take big risks to get here and stay. But if they did fail What then would the Mail Have to stir something up today? I had my nude photos leaked online Yet of mass interest there's still no sign

[Saul Bollox]

"So Scotland may vote for separation Causing the Tories on here some elation They will beg to come back, When they're getting the sack, High prices and crippling stagnation. Economic migrants in Calais Take big risks to get here and stay."

[Helmut Shown]

Now it's fellatio from a mutt What'll be the next limerick smut? Erotica from Paris? Kiddie fiddling from Rolf Harris? Or pederasty in the scout hut? So Scotland may vote for separation Causing the Tories on here some elation

[Helmut Shown]

(nt)

[Far East Hammer]

A mongrel with no teeth called Rob Used to give an amazing blow job. Not that I'd know Saul says so though I'd rather swerve a canine gob Now it's fellatio from a mutt What'll be the next limerick smut?

[Saul Bollox]

"In a bid to broaden my my knowledge I enrolled at my local college, But try as I might My exam scores were shite, Now my lack of IQ I acknowledge. A mongrel with no teeth called Rob Used to give an amazing blow job."

[Briano]

There once was a dodgy Scout Leader Took the boys to see Verdi's Aida Though marginally cultured This predatory vulture Bob a jobbed all their bums with reseeder In a bid to broaden my my knowledge I enrolled at my local college

[Saul Bollox]

Our system of coaching'S replete with set ups to manage defeat. But now we've got Song We can stop passing long And play all the passes to feet. There once was a dodgy Scout Leader Took the boys to see Verdi's Aida

[,]

A dismal display Uncle Woy Not bringing the fans too much joy but how can we thrill when our players lack skill to break down a defensive ploy Our system of coaching'd replete with set ups to manage defeat