New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Far East Hammer]

It looks like all these plastic Mancs Won't be giving their team any thanks Another defeat Meaning more limp meat And certainly no more wanks When out on the Yorkshire Moors This Doris would drop her drawers

[Saul Bollox]

On his looks he doesn't depend Steve Bruce can sniff round a bend But also not nice Is fat Sam Allardyce Whose appearance one can not commend. It looks like all these plastic Mancs Won't be giving their team any thanks

[Helmut Shown]

My joy which I can hardly fetter This weekend gets better and better West Brom at the lane Cause the yids extra pain Not quite the league's pace setter On his looks he doesn't depend Steve Bruce can sniff round a bend

[les marteaux]

"After the game I concluded, that Liverpool fans are deluded. Three great Hammers hits Broke the hearts of these shits One could see the grief that exuded. My joy which I can hardly fetter This weekend gets better and better"

[Helmut Shown]

There was a young lady form Torquay Famous through Devon for bukkake As she laid on her bunk Face covered in spunk She lay there eating a Yorkie After the game I concluded That Liverpool's fans are deluded

[Far East Hammer]

"There once was a young man from Clwyd, Who applied to join up as a druid. All the way back in May He saw robes on eBay For which he had already made a bid There was a young lady form Torquay Famous through Devon for bukkake"

[Saul Bollox]

"Hes a player that Enner Valencia Respected from Stratford to Chechnya But in old Ecuador. He once went with a whore. A stunning mulatto, Hortensia. There once was a young man from Clwyd, Who applied to join up as a druid."

[Son of Sam]

Fat Sam can't take anymore All this football played on the floor The fat handsome devil Can keep his eyes level His neck will no longer be sore Hes a player that Enner Valencia Respected from Stratford to Chechnya

[Far East Hammer]

Those cunts up at Hull all went barmy When a goal was put in by Diame But was it something? We saw it coming An ex-Hammer and quite smarmy Fat Sam can't take anymore All this football on the floor

[Saul Bollox]

"At the pearly gates did St Pete Confront Paisley with words unsweet, To come here we say no, And now you will go. To a place that is known for it's heat. Those cunts up at Hull all went barmy When a goal was put in by Diame"

[Saul Bollox]

"At the pearly gates did St Pete Confront Paisley with words unsweet, To come here we say no, And now you will go. To a place that is known for it's heat. Those cunts up at Hull all went barmy When a goal was put in by Diame"

[Far East Hammer]

"That Daniel Levy's a prick, Who does things that make people sick But feed him lasagne And then ask him ""can yer"" ""do a throwing up party trick!?"" At the pearly gates did St Pete Confront Paisley with words unsweet"

[Saul Bollox]

"Young Bob turned on his T.V And was amazed to see Formula E, What the fuck is this, He said with a hiss, Switched off and then went for some tea. That Daniel Levy's a prick, Who does things that make people sick"

[Livingstone]

Fresh from the arctic a walrus Once applied to be part of a chorus But when he heard ÔøΩBig Sam outÔøΩ The fish-head eating lout Just gave up ÔøΩcause his footballÔøΩs too cautious Young Bob turned on his T.V And was amazed to see Formula E

[plankton]

"There was an old lady called Aggie, Said ""My tits are all wrinkled and saggy."" But in truth that was nothing Compared to her muffin Which was horribly hairless and baggy Fresh from the arctic a walrus Once applied to be part of a chorus"

[Saul Bollox]

"Health minister Jeremy Hunt Most people he seems to confront But I would surmise This should be no surprise, He's an arrogant shit, to be blunt There was an old lady called Aggie, Said ""My tits are all wrinkled and saggy."""

[Helmut Shown]

"A spuds fan I know, Mr Grubb Told me they were a really big club But on so many fronts These deluded cunts Really know that they're not worth a rub Health minister Jeremy Hunt Most people he seems to confront"

[Saul Bollox]

"Mr Gold's told those cunts from the lane ""Fuck off with your ground-share"" again. It seems a bit rum, 'Cause these deluded scum, 'Til now have done naught but complain. A spuds fan I know, Mr Grubb Told me they were a really big club"

[easthambull]

"The Jocks will be on their way after Cameron's grovelling display Let's set them adrift And we'll get a lift From watching the cunts have to pay Mr Gold's told those cunts from the lane ""Fuck off with your ground-share"" again"

[Helmut Shown]

My wife who is quite O.C.D Saves her toenails and bottles of pee Her strange set of rules means recycling her stools to get potting compost for free The Jocks will be on their way after Cameron's grovelling display

[easthambull]

"There's a ""girl"" where I work called Miss Choy, Who turned out to be a lady-boy I discovered this When ""she"" took a piss And thought ""shrunken cock and balls ahoy!"" My wife who is quite O.C.D Saves her toenails and bottles of pee"

[Saul Bollox]

"Supporting the club can be hard When attractive football seems barred. The boss being blunt Is a know nothing cսnt. Who resembles a large tub of lard. There's a ""girl"" where I work called Miss Choy, Who turned out to be a ladyboy"

[easthambull]

"So white Saffas do love a gun To shoot everything under the sun, the Moon and a lamp And Riva Steencamp So locals beware, all and one. Supporting the club can be hard When attractive football seems barred"

[,]

I bird I knew from near Gloucester Was quite into one Colin Foster with a mind unsound she'd follow around despite the price it did cost her So white Saffas do love a gun To shoot everything under the sun

[easthambull]

"There was a young man from Kinross who under his kilt suffered loss No bollocks or cock Arsehole,a red sock Did he care? No, not a toss. So white Saffas do love a gun To shoot everything under the sun"