New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Saul Bollox]

The commentary team on Sky See the world with a biased eye The matches are viewed. consistently skewed. Are there back-handers sent on the sly? A couple of randy old vicars. Were caught sniffing young lady's knickers

[Helmut Shown]

"When retiring I felt at last free, But now I watch day-time TV. I look at the pikeys on Jeremy Kyle northern slags full of vitriol and bile air their sex lives for the world to see The commentary team on Sky See the world with a biased eye"

[Saul Bollox]

"Dave's troubles appear inter alia to revolve around male genitalia, And among his great joys, He likes buggering boys, While dressed in outlandish regalia. When retiring I felt at last free, But now I watch day-time TV."

[,]

When Rooney was dismissed from the field Every foul those wankers appealed then all of the mancs to the lino gave thanks when our goal's offside was revealed Dave's troubles appear inter alia to revolve around male genitalia

[Helmut Shown]

"Whilst out in the garden one night, I saw quite a terrible sight Dressed only in socks He was buggering a fox One look at me he took flight When Rooney was dismissed from the field Every foul those wankers appealed"

[Joke Whole]

"There was a young man from Savannah Who died in a curious manner For a very small bet, A tool-kit he ate, Expiring whilst passing a spanner. Whilst out in the garden one night, I saw quite a terrible sight"

[ohnobleone]

"Now Strictly Come Dancing is back, This time old Bruce it does lack. Tess Daleys in charge Her breasts her quite large And makes me want to empty my sack There was a young man from Savannah Who died in a curious manner"

[Saul Bollox]

"When Murdoch gets you elected Kowtowing to the yanks is expected, With George Bush as a mate When invading a state. Due process and truth are neglected. Now Strictly Come Dancing is back, This time old Bruce it does lack."

[Helmut Shown]

"A Dutchman while out on a hike, Stopped to shove his thumb in a dyke She wasn't amused and feeling abused She told him to get on his bike When Murdoch gets you elected Kowtowing to the yanks is expected"

[Saul Bollox]

"When Dave said the Queen was purring Was he her character slurring? Verbal incontinence From a man with no sense In earshot of someone shit stirring. A Dutchman while out on a hike, Stopped to shove his thumb in a dyke"

[,]

"There once was a teacher of art Who woke up one day with a start he said ""by jove I think Micheal Gove is nothing but an old fart"" When Dave said the Queen was purring was he her character slurring?"

[Joke Whole]

"There are those who think that Karen Brady, Is an extremely fuckable lady Though not known as queer, Her ""other"" career Has often been called rather shady There once was a teacher of art Who woke up one day with a start"

[Saul Bollox]

"A woman who lived on the hill Had trouble conceiving until A hairy arsed black Went in through the back, And emptied his semen with skill. There are those who think that Karen Brady, Is an extremely fuckable lady"

[Joke Whole]

A promiscuous man from Sri Lanka On his penis one day saw a chancre. This made him quite sad For he's recently had Hot sex with a gay Russian banker. A woman who lived on the hill Had trouble conceiving until

[Joke Whole]

A promiscuous man from Sri Lanka On his penis one day saw a chancre. This made him quite sad For he's recently had Hot sex with a gay Russian banker. A woman who lived on the hill Had trouble conceiving until

[Saul Bollox]

TV duo Mel and Sue Exactly what do they do It says on WIKI They're on day time TV Helmut Shown you need something to do. A promiscuous man from Sri Lanka On his penis one day saw a chancre.

[Helmut Shown]

"A perverted man from Singapore, Had his penis trapped in a barn door Another damaged mind Approached from behind And gave his arse what for TV duo Mel and Sue Exactly what do they do"

[les marteaux]

"Reality, soaps and game shows With ITV the shit grows and grows But on prime time each night, Miilions glued to this shite, What they see in this drivel, fuck knows. A perverted man from Singapore, Had his penis trapped in a barn door"

[Helmut Shown]

"Fat Sam seems to have turned around The feeling of hate at our ground They'll remember I fear When the cսnt cupped his ear Crimes against football he'd compound Reality, soaps and game shows With ITV the shit grows and grows"

[Alwaysaniron]

A monkey high up in a tree Was puzzled by what he could see A fat blubbery bloke Seen by most as a joke And out of West Ham was taking the pee Fat Sam seems to have turned around The feeling of hate at our ground

[Joke Whole]

There was an old lady from Crick Did things that would make you feel sick A fav'rite of hers was cheering on Spurs Whilst feasting on circumcised dick A monkey high up in a tree Was puzzled by what he could see

[les marteaux]

"There was a young lady from Leeds Bought a string of small anal beads They got caked with manure As her arse was impure, And now they're all covered with weeds. There was an old lady from Crick Did things that would make you feel sick"

[Helmut Shown]

"There was a young lady called Mary, With pubic hair bushy and hairy. It allowed things to thrive and her bush was alive Including a nesting canary There was a young lady from Leeds Bought a string of small anal beads"

[Saul Bollox]

"There was a young man called Ned Changed religion, became a raghead Nevermore on the the piss, He joined up with ISIS, Got hit by a bomb, now he's dead. There was a young lady called Mary, With pubic hair bushy and hairy."

[Helmut Shown]

"When out on the Yorkshire Moors This Doris would drop her drawers Came the Ripper with his hammer On her crust he did slam 'er I don't think he thought much of whores There was a young man called Ned Changed religion, became a raghead"