New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Helmut Shown]

"Some posters show such dedication, But forgetting to take medication, Just getting the wrath Of a mad psychopath May lead to the odd altercation Blatter has wriggled again His record in football's a stain"

[Joke Whole]

"A vicar was wanking one night, When something gave him a big fright As several choir boys, Gave coughs of surprise, ...he'd forgotten to turn out the light. Some posters show such dedication, But forgetting to take medication,"

[les marteaux]

"there once was a lady with 3 tits which affected the way that she sits You really should see 'er Putting on a brassiere, It would really have you in fits. A vicar was wanking one night, When something gave him a big fright"

[HairySpotter]

"A prostitute from Forest Gate, Did things that made punters irate when they're just about to cum in their arse went her thumb i loved it so much i asked for a slate there once was a lady with 3 tits which affected the way that she sits"

[les marteaux]

"There once was a man from Dundee Who could fart any theme from TV You could pick any show, But Hawai'i 5-0 Cos the melodic jumps made him pee. A prostitute from Forest Gate, Did things that made punters irate"

[Lily Hammer]

Hung her arse from a bridge for a poo In the water she could see a canoe She aimed and unclenched Out came a foul stench And down fell a huge number 2 There once was a man from Dundee Who could fart any theme from TV

[Helmut Shown]

"I was walking down Green Street on day When I met Fat Sam coming the other way ""May I make so bold. When will Nolan be sold"" He told me politely ""Go away"" Hung her arse from a bridge for a poo In the water she could see a canoe"

[Alwaysaniron]

"I find myself holding spare cash, Now. Should I go out on the lash? Or revisit the bitch That gave me the itch leaving her with this nasty red rash. I was walking down Green Street on day When I met Fat Sam coming the other way"

[Alwaysaniron]

"I find myself holding spare cash, Now. Should I go out on the lash? Or revisit the bitch That gave me the itch leaving her with this nasty red rash. I was walking down Green Street on day When I met Fat Sam coming the other way"

[Alwaysaniron]

"I find myself holding spare cash, Now. Should I go out on the lash? Or visit revisit the bitch That gave me the itch leaving her with this nasty red rash. I was walking down Green Street on day When I met Fat Sam coming the other way,"

[Joke Whole]

"Your Limericks will sound much sweeter. When done in anapaestic meter. Sod that classroom shit Tag! Gotcha! You're ""It! Fuck off and compose something neater. I find myself holding spare cash, Now. Should I go out on the lash?"

[Saul Bollox]

"There once was a chap named Saul Outed a fellow poster, not cool! Twas done you see To improve quality, Now please stop playing the fool. Your Limericks will sound much sweeter. When done in anaepestic meter"

[HairySpotter]

"Hairy spotter's stuff at least rhymes But syllables, too many sometimes, if he gave it more thought the perfection u sought would be there but if not, no crimes! There once was a chap named Saul Outed a fellow poster, not cool!"

[Saul Bollox]

"Apparently there're many ways to skin a cat Depends if they're thin or if fat The job will be worst If you don't kill them first, It can be a struggle like that. Hairy spotter's stuff at least rhymes But syllables, too many sometimes, http://www.creative-writing-now.com/how-to-write-a-limerick.htmlmost times,"

[HairySpotter]

"A young man from darkest Peru Was wanking whilst sat on the loo Up slithered a snake from the pan had a good look at the youngsters old man and thought ""his cocks so small ill have to eat the poo"" Apparently there're many ways to skin a cat Depends if they're thin or if fat"

[Helmut Shown]

My milkman delivered today Two pints and a box of Milk Tray The ladies all cop A large red top He's always delivered that way A young man from darkest Peru Was wanking whilst sat on the loo

[easthambull]

"Last night got the fright of my life, Caught the vicar shagging my wife I crept in the room and peered through the gloom Then opened him up with my knife. My milkman delivered today Two pints and a box of Milk Tray"

[Saul Bollox]

"Oops 1,000 have been in my bed Claimed Hucknell from Simply Red. This rubbish pop singer Who looks like a minger And should be a road sweeper instead. Last night got the fright of my life, Caught the vicar shagging my wife"

[Saul Bollox]

"Oops 1,000 have been in my bed Claimed Hucknell from Simply Red. This rubbish pop singer Who looks like a minger And should be a road sweeper instead. Last night got the fright of my life, Caught the vicar shagging my wife"

[Saul Bollox]

"A degenerate sex-case called Ched Somehow got a bird into bed Now he's done his time Has he paid for his crime? He a rapist when all done and said. Last night got the fright of my life, Caught the vicar shagging my wife"

[tiddingtoniron]

"As I stared at WHO during the night I read something that gave me a fright My amusing pooh rhyme Posted a day after time This Tiddiron, he`s not very bright. 1,000 have been in my bed Claimed Hucknell from Simply Red....."

[Jel2]

A degenerate sex-case called Ched Somehow got a bird into bed He thought she'd stoop low Until she said no I will not do anal she said As I stared at WHO during the night I read something that gave me a fright

[easthambull]

Whilst wiping my knob across the screen I asked myself what does it mean to countenance smeg Whilst stood on one leg And trying not to be over keen A degenerate sex-case called Ched Somehow got a bird into bed

[HairySpotter]

Whilst sunning myself by the dock I saw something that gave me a shock as the man came nearer it all became clearer it was his umbrella and certainly not a cock Whilst wiping my knob across the screen I asked myself what does it mean

[easthambull]

There once was a bloke playing blackjack who asked for the dealer to cut him some slack The dealer said no I won't stoop that low Unless you have some Moroccan Black Whilst sunning myself by the dock I saw something that gave me a shock