New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[les marteaux]

"Two ladies from Deepest Peru Were chatting as all ladies do, The one said with a hiss I'm off for a piss, And urinated in a shoe. There was a young man from Marseilles Was picked up in bar by a gay."

[les marteaux]

"Two ladies from Deepest Peru Were chatting as all ladies do, The she said with a hiss I'm off for a piss, And urinated in a shoe. There was a young man from Marseilles Was picked up in bar by a gay."

[Mr Polite]

"An actress from Burnham on Crouch, Did rude things on the casting couch. So weathered and worn From ten years filming porn She could fit the couch in her front pouch Two ladies from Deepest Peru Were chatting as all ladies do"

[Mr Polite]

"An actress from Burnham on Crouch, Did rude things on the casting couch. So weathered and worn From ten years filming porn She could fit the couch in her front pouch Two ladies from Deepest Peru Were chatting as all ladies do"

[les marteaux]

"There was an old man from Hornchurch Who was always left in the lurch, Cause his language was crude And his manners were rude Any social event he'd besmirch. An actress from Burnham on Crouch, Did rude things on the casting couch."

[Hammer and Pickle]

SE3 for sure.

[gph]

"I'm trying to imagine an accent in which ""Ilford"" and ""around"" rhyme"

[Hammer and Pickle]

*a* ffs

[Hammer and Pickle]

It's rare speech impediment and if you hit me it's murder.

[gph]

"That has completely changed the way I imagine you speak, H+P"

[Hammer and Pickle]

There was a poor rector from Biscester Who had a scandalous sister They kept her in a secrete secluded chamber Where she could not nail yer and said poor rector could get on with his prayers. There once was a truck driver from Ilford Who his sword would insist on waving around

[gph]

There was a poor rector from Biscester Who had a scandalous sister Although a Holy Nun No-one would believe what she's done With Ministers who couldn't resist her There was an old man from Hornchurch Who was always left in the lurch

[Nurse Ratched]

"There was a Frenchman from Loon Plage On a lottery won fifty large. But being a perv He gave sports cars a swerve Beaucoup FROMAGE pour FROTTAGE, quel DOMMAGE! There was a poor rector from Biscester Who had a scandalous sister"

[les marteaux]

"Black Friday is coming we hear Where they shift all of last years gear, Each year never fails, They should wait for the sales, Said a bloke that I know called Amir. There was a Frenchman from Loon Plage On a lottery won fifty large."

[Helmut Shown]

I have just seen a thing on the telly about that great Brazilian Pele He's won the World Cup Now the cock won't stay up Just something under his belly Black Friday is coming we hear Where they shift all of last years gear

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

One Christmas young Eb'nezer Scrooge Fancied a fast run on a luge The nylon was slick And kept rubbing his dick Result was a pant full of sploodge I have just seen a thing on the telly about that great Brazilian Pele

[Son of Sam]

"A whaler's wife from Nantucket, Used to throw her used drawers in a bucket. It was quite a surprise When drawn by some flies He found them , put the lid on and said fuck it One Christmas young Eb'nezer Scrooge Fancied a fast run on a luge"

[les marteaux]

"It is quite easy to surmise Why Chinamen have those slant eyes Their rice is like grit, and makes it hard to shit, I was told by a bloke in Shanghai. A whaler's wife from Nantucket, Used to throw her used drawers in a bucket."

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

A young lady from Ulanbator Had problems with her vibrator It was so long and fat That it stretched her poor twat Now no-one but Rastas can date her It is quite easy to surmise Why Chinamen have those slant eyes

[Far East Hammer]

I switched on the TV to wank And there in his robes was Pope Frank 'Twas quite a let down And so I did frown As my hard-on quickly sank A young lady from Ulanbator Had problems with her vibrator

[Saul Bollox]

"A naive mother had a shock When she found her son's wank sock A terrible sight, It had dried overnight When she tugged, it was stuck to his cock. I switched on the TV to wank And there in his robes was Pope Frank"

[Helmut Shown]

Whilst playing a game of Tombola A white man contracted ebola. His life ebbs from his arse 'cause he just couldn't pass On a Sierra Leone Coca Cola A naive mother had a shock When she found her son's wank sock

[Saul Bollox]

The sun is now up and is shining 'tis sure not a day for just whining. So accuse me of greed But there's one thing I need For a decent blow job I am pining. Whilst playing a game of Tombola A white man contracted ebola.

[Joke Whole]

"A ladyboy from near Bangkok, Said from westham online they all flock Who gave me most glee? Some spastic from Leigh She couldn't stop gobbling my cock The sun is now up and is shining 'tis sure not a day for just whining."

[Joke Whole]

"A ladyboy from near Bangkok, Said from westham online they all flock Who gave me most glee? Some spastic from Leigh She couldn't stop gobbling my cock The sun is now up and is shining 'tis sure not a day for just whining."