New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[,]

There was an old geezer from Tooting In the riots he got done for looting. turns out he's a cousin of a well known Russian by name of Vladimir Putin The Saints got done by the City and Everton lost more's the pity

[les marteaux]

"These pricks that appear on X Factor I'd feed to a rubbish compactor ""And them judges too, I'd like to run them through,"" Said an old battlefield re-enactor. There was an old geezer from Tooting In the riots he got done for looting."

[Helmut Shown]

"The Yids nicked another today I do hate the way that they play The luck of the Jews And all that imbues No effort, no class, no way These pricks that appear on X Factor I'd feed to a rubbish compactor"

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

"A supporter of Manchester City At a game once took out her left titty At the sight of our Ginge She flashed him her minge But the smell was real bad, more's the pity The Yids nicked another today I do hate the way that they play"

[les marteaux]

"The pariahs from N17 On Sky are often seen, Said a bloke down the pub ""It's cos we're a big club,"" The delusion persists it would seem. A supporter of Manchester City At a game once took out her left titty"

[Helmut Shown]

"A maiden, both pretty and fair Felt something was missing ""down there"" Some Muslim nations Condone mutilations Labia and clit are nowhere The pariahs from N17 On Sky are often seen"

[Joke Whole]

"The injury list is crazy Every year the sick lame and lazy Now ""Doris the tea"" Has twisted her knee, Refreshments are served by young Daisy. A maiden, both pretty and fair Felt something was missing ""down there"""

[Joke Whole]

"The injury list is crazy Every year the sick lame and lazy Now ""Doris the tea"" Has twisted her knee, Refreshments are served by young Daisy. A maiden, both pretty and fair Felt something was missing ""down there"""

[Helmut Shown]

There was a young girl from Bow Had a quite unsightly camel toe The tightness of her gusset Round her arse coloured russet That restricted her earnings as a pro The injury list is crazy Every year the sick lame and lazy

[Saul Bollox]

"Whilst checking the collection box A vicar discovered he'd lots. Some to help the needy, Thought Father MacReadie And the rest's spent on booze down The Fox. There was a young girl from Bow Had a quite unsightly camel toe"

[Joke Whole]

"There was a young man from Kirklees Had a socially transmitted disease The lonely old creep, Did catch it from sheep, Not waving his knob in the breeze. Whilst checking the collection box A vicar discovered he'd lots"

[Saul Bollox]

"Santa claus to me is a nonce The white bearded fat ugly ponce Has bad breath and caries, Is surrounded by fairies, And deserves a good kick in the bonce. There was a young man from Kirklees Had a socially transmitted disease"

[Nuclear Noodle]

When carollers come round a-calling It's now just all screeching and bawling Its just too much to take So i'll go make a cake The later asleep i'll be falling Santa claus to me is a nonce The white bearded fat ugly ponce

[Joke Whole]

"Soon's the time of the year we are able To think of one born in a stable, The government cuts Have made even huts Completely unfordabable. (sorry!) When carollers come round a-calling It's now just all screeching and bawling."

[Saul Bollox]

"After watching ""two girls one cup"" His old chap wouldn't stand up Their deviant ways Have started to faze, Now he can't even shag his pet pup. Soon's the time of the year we are able To think of one born in a stable,"

[Helmut Shown]

"Mum's out now I can be profane, Piss, bollocks, cսnt, period stain Fuck shit and cocks Low hanging Bol-locks And whatever they call them in Spain After watching ""two girls one cup"" His old chap wouldn't stand up"

[les marteaux]

"Tho they left out Derbach, the wanker Our bowling looks poor in Sri Lanka Our fielders are shit Our spinners aren't fit And our paceman ia a merchant banker Mum's out now I can be profane, Piss, bollocks, cսnt, period stain"

[les marteaux]

"A man with a fetish for piss Was dating a very fine miss Had a golden shower. About every half hour. Was his idea of romantic bliss. Mum's out now I can be profane, Piss, bollocks, cսnt, period stain"

[tiddingtoniron]

"A man with a fetish for piss Was dating a very fine miss Although posh she was fat And her thing was scat So they revelled in toilet time bliss Tho they left out Derbach, the wanker Our bowling looks poor in Sri Lanka"

[Joke Whole]

"Waiting on the corner of the street stood a tranny with very big feet And all of her mates Would say, of her plates, ""Fuck me! Don't they pen in this heat!"" A man with a fetish for piss Was dating a very fine miss"

[Helmut Shown]

"I'm prudish, and really don't care For verse that does cuss and does swear Whereas I am all front You can call me a cսnt Or anything else to be fair Waiting on the corner of the street stood a tranny with very big feet"

[Joke Whole]

"A beggar down to his last buck, To a brothel went, to try his luck A very big whore Heaved him out of the door And he bounced off the back of a truck I'm prudish, and really don't care For verse that does cuss and does swear"

[les marteaux]

"I'm wondering whether to start A thread on the art of the fart It could deal, I think' On the strength of the stink, And research on the state of the art. A beggar down to his last buck, To a brothel went, to try his luck"

[Far East Hammer]

There was an old paranoid on WHO Who ranted on cue About Nine-Eleven Or David Icke even Though on football he did have a clue I'm wondering whether to start A thread on the art of the fart

[gph]

There was a young man from Marseilles Was picked up in bar by a gay. These lines are but a trick To elicit words homophobic And get us banned for many a day There was an old paranoid on WHO Who ranted on cue