New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Saul Bollox]

"I'm in love with Bolton says Sam What a truly disgusting old man So fuck off to the trotters Those foul northern rotters, For West Ham you don't give a damn. My neighbour whose called Mr.Marks, Spend his day hanging round parks"

[easthambull]

"There was an old boy from Diss Would oft' give his daughters a kiss By this credo the vile paedo Ensured all his girls stayed a ""Miss"" I'm in love with Bolton says Sam What a truly disgusting old man"

[Helmut Shown]

I lied to the judge I was sober Whilst hiding a bottle of Cobra But the judge did insist And found I was pissed I should be out next October There was an old boy from Diss Would oft' give his daughters a kiss

[Saul Bollox]

Sorry that should be easthambull's lines I lied to the judge I was sober Whilst hiding a bottle of Cobra

[Saul Bollox]

"A Frenchman who came from Bordeaux Was caught short with nowhere to go So he stood roadside And with not much to hide, Pissed and said Voila! C'est beau. There once was a Geman called Fritz, Whose manner was truly the pits."

[Helmut Shown]

"A prostitute picked up by Bertie, When performing became very shirty It made her quite sick To look at his dick As his bellend was smelly and dirty A Frenchman who came from Bordeaux Was caught short with nowhere to go"

[Joke Whole]

"A prostitute picked up by Bertie, When performing became very shirty ""I quite like some tricks,"" ""But I hate fucking micks,"" ""The things that they want are too dirty."" A woman gave birth to a sprog 'twas slimey and looked like a frog."

[easthambull]

"Ooops! A prostitute picked up by Bertie, When performing became very shirty He punched her hard And so was barred Serves him tight for playing dirty I lied to the judge I was sober Whilst hiding a bottle of Cobra"

[easthambull]

"I was strolling in the park one day In the merry, merry month of May I chanced upon An Atom bomb And we all were blown away I lied to the judge I was sober Whilst hiding a bottle of Cobra"

[Saul Bollox]

"I was strolling in the park one day In the merry, merry month of May, These words here don't belong They've been nicked from a song, And It was a big hit in it's day. A prostitute picked up by Bertie, When performing became very shirty"

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

"You should see the state of my host. Her minge is much larger than most. I thought her a catch But the sight of her snatch Reminds me of my mum's Sunday roast I was strolling in the park one day In the merry, merry month of May"

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

"You should see the state of my host. Her minge is much larger than most. I thought her a catch But the sight of her snatch Reminds me of my mum's Sunday roast I was strolling in the park one day In the merry, merry month of May"

[Joke Whole]

"I once used to know an old tom Who supported the baggies, West Brom. Now. Here is the killer, He should follow Villa, For that's where he really came from. You should see the state of my host. Her minge is much larger than most."

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

"Whilst brushing my nan's old false teeth, I started to smell her queef... What I thought smelled of pollocks Was actually her bollocks Which explains why her real name is Keith I once used to know an old tom Who supported the baggies, West Brom"

[Snatch Pasty]

"Whilst ordering beer in Munich I noticed the waitress's tunic My hand went up it What I felt was not legit And realised she was really a eunuch. Whilst brushing my nan's old false teeth, I started to smell her queef..."

[icwhs]

*in Munich

[icwhs]

"On a flight from London to Cairo, A young lady borrowed my biro i thought she wanted my number But i sat down with a lumber As she Gave it to José Mourinho Whilst ordering beer Munich I noticed the waitress's tunic"

[Saul Bollox]

"While on a trip to Brazil I met a twat called Phil Said his sister Ella Works in the favela, Giving blow jobs of finesse and skill. On a flight from London to Cairo, A young lady borrowed my biro"

[icwhs]

There once was a young girl called Lydia Who contracted a dose of chlamydia Her minge was red rore All painful and sore Thats the last time she'll shag Xavier. While on a trip to Brazil I met a twat called Phil

[Saul Bollox]

"Whilst banging a bint in Peru I needed to go to the loo The turd dropped through the air When I looked, twas not there, Indeed it was a phantom poo. There once was a young girl called Lydia Who contracted a dose of chlamydia"

[Saul Bollox]

"Whilst banging a bint in Peru I needed to go to the loo The turd dropped through the air When I looked, twas not there, Indeed it was a phantom poo. There once was a young girl called Lydia Who contracted a dose of chlamydia"

[icwhs]

Why is it that when I drink Stella I turn into a strange kinda fella I drink til i fall And piss up the wall Awalys ends on the spare bed in the cellar. Whilst banging a bint in Peru I needed to go to the loo

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

There was a young man from Dundee Who thought that his dick was too wee. Resigned to his fate He'd not pleasure his mate But lucky she had a tight C Why is it that when I drink Stella I turn into a strange kinda fella

[Saul Bollox]

"In our house we've had a straw poll Steve Bruce could be next on the dole, Although not too cute, He's a man of repute, But some feel that he's an arsehole. There was a young man from Dundee Who thought that his dick was too wee."

[Helmut Shown]

The Saints got done by the City and Everton lost more's the pity Although not a critic or anti Semitic Sp*rs fans are like Walter Mitty In our house we've had a straw poll Steve Bruce could be next on the dole