New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Saul Bollox]

As I walked past the Catholic church door My jaw dropped down to the floor The sight I did see Was a big shock to me The priest haggling a price with whore. There was a young lady from Berwick. Was picked up by a mad muslim clEric.

[Saul Bollox]

As I walked past the Catholic church door My jaw dropped down to the floor The sight I did see Was a big shock to me The priest haggling a price with whore. There was a young lady from Berwick. Was picked up by a mad muslim cluric.

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

"Our mate Sammy he likes RIB Like a dribbling spastic he needs a BIB I ask you, dear pray What the hell did you say Now fuck off back to your CRIB As I walked past the Catholic church door My jaw dropped down to the floor"

[Nuclear Noodle]

Does anyone here really know What's wrong with that cսnt Soldado I don't give a fuck Coz he plays for the muck and looks like a big fat Dino Our mate Sammy he likes RIB Like a dribbling spastic he needs a BIB

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

A spurs fain with just half a brain Paid cash for his ticket again He was flipping his lid This Yid with a quid And couldn't take more of the strain Does anyone here really know What's wrong with that cսnt Soldado

[easthambull]

A Tottenham fan called Bill Was walking down Stamford Hill He fancied that brass with the massive arse so he took three quid from the till. A spurs fain with just half a brain Paid cash for his ticket again

[Saul Bollox]

The Rouble has gone through the floor The price of oil has dropped more But enough of the news I'm off on the booze and I may even pay for a whore. A Tottenham fan called Bill Was walking down Stamford Hill.

[Joke Whole]

"There was a young lad in Dunblane Suffering from bad rectal pain The source of the ache? An old man called Jake, Who buggered his arse like a train The Rouble has gone through the floor The price of oil has dropped more"

[Far East Hammer]

So QPR fucked up again Is twitchy-man feeling the strain? Watch saggy-chops As his jaw drops Clearly he's feeling some pain! There was a young lad in Dunblane Suffering from bad rectal pain

[easthambull]

"Whilst cruising the streets for a boy The manager shouted out ""Oi!"" Fuck off Ravel son, your time here is done and forget ever playing for Woy! So QPR fucked up again Is twitchy-man feeling the strain?"

[Joke Whole]

"In the days long before Karen Brady, In our boardroom Pardew shagged a lady. When the story got out The press said ""Good shout!"" ""We like things all spicy and shady!"" Whilst cruising the streets for a boy The manager shouted out ""Oi!"""

[Saul Bollox]

"I was watching with undisguised glee as a dog tried to hump a large tree, He turned round when I laughed, And I know this sounds daft But he came and he and tried to hump me. In the days long before Karen Brady, In our boardroom Pardew shagged a lady."

[doomhunk]

A dirty old slapper from Welwyn Her cսnt she was regularly sellin'. But the Amazon bug made her look like a mug so she switched to rude phone stories tellin'. I was watching with undisguised glee as a dog tried to hump a large tree.

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

There once was a dirty old ginge Was licking a prostitute's minge But what's really the bollocks was it tasted like Pollocks And anchovy? Well just a tinge A dirty old slapper from Welwyn Her cսnt she was regularly sellin'

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

There once was a dirty old ginge Was licking a prostitute's minge But what's really the bollocks was it tasted like Pollocks And anchovy? Well just a tinge A dirty old slapper from Welwyn Her cսnt she was regularly sellin'

[Saul Bollox]

"oops..... Its fairly straightforward to tell That South Basildon's not going well From London they come All the east London scum, No wonder the place is like hell.. There once was a dirty old ginge Was licking a prostitute's minge"

[Saul Bollox]

"She was acting remarkably coy For a pretty young Thai ladyboy The a dirty old swine, From westham online, Inserted a vibrating toy. There once was a dirty old ginge Was licking a prostitute's minge"

[JGW1]

She was acting remarkably coy For a pretty young Thai ladyboy Whether gay straight or bi She needn't be shy As her oral technique was a joy. Its fairly straightforward to tell That South Basildon's not going well

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

There once was a baldie called Bob His condition did cause him to sob But the hair on his chest Would knit a string vest And a coat from the hair round his knob She was acting remarkably coy For a pretty young Thai ladyboy

[easthambull]

In Sydney the terrorist fuckwit bury the cսnt in pigs shit Then drown his old mum In Infidel cum and cover his sister in spit There once was a baldie called Bob His condition did cause him to sob

[Helmut Shown]

A man from the South with no hair Tried to have sex with a bear On a night black as coal He found the wrong hole It was quite tight so he didn't care In Sydney the terrorist fuckwit bury the cսnt in pigs shit

[Roger Mellie]

A man from the West with dark skin Committed a terrible sin He turned out to be scouse With no roof on his house And now he's got his hands in the bin A man from the South with no hair Tried to have sex with a bear

[easthambull]

"A lookalike of Uncle Fester, Said: ""We'll wipe the floor with Leicester"". Damned with faint praise a West Ham malaise that clone of Fester's a jester A man from the West with dark skin Committed a terrible sin"

[Saul Bollox]

"No woder they get such derision Gutless ref - bad decision, That fat heap of cack, Dowd's got his own back After last year's Old Trafford collision. A lookalike of Uncle Fester, Said: ""We'll wipe the floor with Leicester""."

[Helmut Shown]

At about this time of the year I'd would really like to disappear I throw in the towel Seeing smug bastard Cowell More shit in the charts I fear No woder they get such derision Gutless ref - bad decision