New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Saul Bollox]

"A young Irishman called Jim Converted to become Muslim, The alcohol ban, Was too much for this man, So decided it wasn't for him. A stunner from the Cote D'Ivoire Serviced blokes in the back of a car."

[Helmut Shown]

A young lady from near Santander Had a fanny that smelled like a zander She was covered in flies As she did exercise With a very large chest expander A young Irishman called Jim Converted to become Muslim

[Saul Bollox]

I was utterly over the moon to see Moscow ladies in June They were so fucking thin All bones and skin And one of them looked like Ted Loon A young lady from near Santander Had a fanny that smelled like a zander

[Saul Bollox]

Sorry ignore that

[Saul Bollox]

"Their once was a man from Belize Who's cock smelled distinctly of cheese, Like Brebis de lavort, Or a strong Roquefort, It in fact was a magnet for fleas. A young lady from near Santander Had a fanny that smeelled like a zander"

[doomhunk]

I once saw a girl on the beach bent over and trying to teach some guy the kiss of life but nearby stood his wife and she stuck to the pair like a leach. I was utterly over the moon to see Moscow ladies in June.

[easthambull]

"There once was a man from Belize Who's cock smelled distinctly of cheese His girlfriend would beg to lick off the smeg that was flecked on his bell-end, the tease! I once saw a girl on the beach bent over and trying to teach"

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

An old sailor in Portsmouth docks Was sat with some holes in his socks As everyone knows The tars love their hoes And some of them even have cocks Their once was a man from Belize Who's cock smelled distinctly of cheese

[Helmut Shown]

"Last night when eating a banana, I thought of the ""singer"" Rihanna The banana she'd prefer Than my old chap in her Or a grand corona from Havana An old sailor in Portsmouth docks Was sat with some holes in his socks"

[Saul Bollox]

"As winter draws in its quite chilly The cold air is shrinking my willy, When going out doors, Wear warm sensible drawers Not ones that are flimsy and frilly. Last night when eating a banana, I thought of the ""singer"" Rihanna."

[Nuclear Noodle]

"Tis the season for mince pie and pheasants Of mistletoe, tinsel and presents Although it is great I'd rather not wait To watch my old pal Donald Pleasance As winter draws in its quite chilly The cold air is shrinking my willy"

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

"Two gypsies were talking one night about whom they'd most like to fight. The scum of the earth Since the day of their birth They make me ashamed to be white Tis the season for mince pie and pheasants Of mistletoe, tinsel and presents"

[doomhunk]

"A young lady from Solihull Whose sexlife was mightily dull took herself to a shrink, who, with a nudge and a wink told her to relocate to Hull. Two gypsies were talking one night about whom they'd most like to fight."

[Far East Hammer]

"He spent a long time, as it goes, On the art of just picking his nose With not much else to do Whilst sitting on the loo Yet he thinks nobody knows A young lady from Solihull Whose sexlife was mightily dull"

[Joke Whole]

"So it's so long, adieu to Ravel I hope he's a long way to travel Just off to be judged On the way that he nudged His bird and her mum to the gravel. He spent a long time, as it goes, On the art of just picking his nose"

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

"I must be getting old These days I feel the cold The size of my willy Makes me look silly But that is normal I'm told So it's so long, adieu to Ravel I hope he's a long way to travel"

[Far East Hammer]

There once was a young man called Jim Who scrubbed his back passage with Vim. After a scrub And a good rub He realised he'd been quite dim I must be getting old These days I feel the cold

[Saul Bollox]

"A young man thought himself cool On the underground showing his tool It will be no surprise The bloke with open flies, Is a scumbag down from Liverpool. There once was a young man called Jim Who scrubbed his back passage with Vim."

[Saul Bollox]

"A young man thought himself cool On the underground showing his tool It will be no surprise The bloke with open flies, Is a scumbag down from Liverpool. There once was a young man called Jim Who scrubbed his back passage with Vim."

[Helmut Shown]

At Christmas remember the poor When you think that youd like a bit more Or tell them to fuck off Get your snout in the trough The way that the Tories adore A young man thought himself cool On the underground showing his tool

[JGW1]

The watching of Debbie does Dallas Has increased the size of my phallus Im amazed how my cock Can discharge in a sock More plaster than Buckingham Palace At Christmas remember the poor When you think that youd like a bit more

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

"For a long time, I'd sit and I'd ponder the best way to nobble Jane Fonda The trouble with Jane And I'll make this quite plain Is she farts like a 650 Honda The watching of Debbie does Dallas Has increased the size of my phallus"

[doomhunk]

"I once had a fling with a lady Who looked a bit like Liam Brady. Though her broad Irish brogue was clearly in vogue I preferred her to rap like Slim Shady. For a long time, I'd sit and I'd ponder the best way to nobble Jane Fonda."

[doomhunk]

Saul Bollox 2:55 Tue Dec 16 Re: New Limerick Thread Bravo.

[Bouncing Ludo]

There was a young lady from Berwick. Was picked up by a mad muslim clEric. He had a hook for an arm And none of the charm Of the handsome young priest known as Derek I once had a fling with a lady Who looked a bit like Liam Brady