New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Far East Hammer]

The next two games map out our season Will they give our fans a true reason? So will our bubbles burst And we hark back to Hurst Or will Jose be left bright crimson? Under the mistletoe I sought some camel toe

[Joke Whole]

"Normal service will likely resume When visiting Chelsea I assume To keep down their score We'll park the bus more Making ""The Special One"" fume. The next two games map out our season Will they give our fans a true reason?"

[Far East Hammer]

"When the spuds get a last minute win, Are we being punished for our sin? Dodgy lasagna? ""Never"" claimed Tanya ""Though I did take it out of the bin!"" Normal service will likely resume When visiting Chelsea I assume"

[Saul Bollox]

"A lot of the posters on here Think Sam will be with us next year, Down with the decorations Despite his perorations, On WHO they'll want his blood, I fear. When the spuds get a last minute win, Are we being punished for our sin?"

[Helmut Shown]

"There once was an old Hottentot, Beneath his bed he kept a pot But his aim wasn't true And his jet went askew Eventually causing wet rot A lot of the posters on here Think Sam will be with us next year"

[Helmut Shown]

"There once was an old Hottentot, Beneath his bed he kept a pot But his aim wasn't true And his jet went askew Eventually causing wet rot A lot of the posters on here Think Sam will be with us next year"

[Saul Bollox]

"I once knew an effeminate Gurkha Who loved to dress up in a burka He then went outdoors Put on filly drawers And started to dance the Mazurka. There once was an old Hottentot, Beneath his bed he kept a pot`"

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

A bloke down my road called Sam Is thinking of joining islam. He says he'll miss pork and a wine to uncork But he'll never give up on the Spam I once knew an effeminate Gurkha Who loved to dress up in a burka

[Saul Bollox]

Shooting kids in a school with a gun the discerning jihadist has fun They wonder how nice Twill be in paradise. Then blow themselves up when they're done. A bloke down my road called Sam Is thinking of joining islam.

[Helmut Shown]

"A rent boy who, new to the game Thought punters would all be the same A painful sensation Without lubrication ""Fuck that!"" You'd hear him exclaim Shooting kids in a school with a gun the discerning jihadist has fun"

[Helmut Shown]

"A rent boy who, new to the game Thought punters would all be the same A painful sensation Without lubrication ""Fuck that!"" You'd hear him exclaim Shooting kids in as cool with a gun the discerning jihadist has fun"

[Helmut Shown]

(nt)

[Joke Whole]

"With Christmas now very near We're heading for Europe, that's clear A dose of bad fate We'll drop down to eight E'en so that still brings me good cheer. A rent boy who, new to the game Thought punters would all be the same"

[joe blob]

OI!

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

"When trying to find who's most thick Then Uncle Junior's your pick He has tried very hard But he is no bard If fact he's a bit of a prick With Christmas now very near We're heading for Europe, that's clear"

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

"Oh dear Uncle J. I don't think you've quite grasped this Limerick business. But thanks for trying to contribute, even if it was crap."

[Uncle Junior]

Our Coach is a bit of a cսnt Who likes long balls from the back to the front Our Captain to be fair should be fitter and it's rumoured he does the coach up he Shitter

[Saul Bollox]

Whilst stooping to pick up a bag I suddenly fancied a shag I looked up and there Stood a girl with blonde hair But she was the local fag hag. I once paid for oral sex From a young lady wearing spec.

[Saul Bollox]

Whilst stooping to pick up a bag I suddenly fancied a shag I looked up and there Stood a girl with blonde hair But she was the local fag hag. I once paid for oral sex From a young lady wearing spec.

[Joke Whole]

"Whilst sitting in a police cell. I noticed a terrible smell Right opposite me, Was a Muslim, you see, But it wasn't from him...I could tell. Whilst stooping to pick up a bag I suddenly fancied a shag"

[Saul Bollox]

"One Boxing day at the races I had to loosen my braces Of turkey and such, I had eaten too muck, And of beer? i'd had too many cases. Whilst sitting in a police cell. I noticed a terrible smell"

[,]

I was feeling a little more than merry While sitting at the bar on the ferry when I reached Silvertown my trousers fell down and I ain't got legs like John Terry One Boxing day at the races I had to loosen my braces

[Joke Whole]

"I was feeling a little more than merry While sitting at the bar on the ferry And while I got drunk, The ferry? It sunk. The captain that day was John Terry. The girls of the village are fit But, 'cos I'm a lonely old git,"

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

There once was a man from Mecca who liked music by Desmond Dekker This Islamist rasta Never said basta To the girls who were sucking his pecker I was feeling a little more than merry While sitting at the bar on the ferry

[,]

oops There once was a man from Mecca who liked music by Desmond Dekker