New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Helmut Shown]

"In bed with my woman last night, She put up a terrible fight She finally succumbed As she'd never been bummed And her arsehole was extremely tight It'll wipe off your festive smiles A very bad case of the piles"

[Joke Whole]

"In today's NHS it is great That you have a four hour wait If you die within two The bosses can coo ""Our stats are improving to date"" In bed with my woman last night, She put up a terrible fight"

[Helmut Shown]

"New Years Eve is a load of ol' shite I'd rather shit in the bog and then wipe To see in the New Year With warm diarrhoea In truth, not a pretty sight In today's NHS it is great That you have a four hour wait"

[Nuclear Noodle]

Now this year will soon become hist'ry What will become next year's big myst'ry? It will be a tedious bore So I'll sit in and snore and listen to CDs of KISStory New Years Eve is a load of ol' shite I'd rather shit in the bog and then wipe

[Nuclear Noodle]

Now this year will soon become hist'ry What will become next year's big myst'ry? It will be a tedious bore So i'll just carry on listening to KISStory New Years Eve is a load of ol' shite I'd rather shit in the bog and then wipe

[Joke Whole]

The recession would have happened all the same So who can the Tories blame? Those cunts who won't spend. That's US in the end They sulk 'cos we don't play their game. Now this year will soon become hist'ry What will become next year's big myst'ry?

[Helmut Shown]

The standard of refs that we get Shows no sign of improvement yet When games are allowed To be reffed by Phil Dowd No penalties for us - safe bet The recession would have happened all the same So who can the Tories blame?

[Saul Bollox]

After these games I've concluded that our manager is deluded We are not top drawer. If we finish top four. I'll run round Upton Park denuded. The standard of refs that we get Shows no sign of improvement yet.

[Helmut Shown]

The games now just come thick and fast let's hope we give West Brom a blast But with Nolan in the team You just want to scream His selection leaves people aghast After these games I've concluded that our manager is deluded

[Helmut Shown]

We've lost to rent boys and the Arse Is there a massive gap in class? But we can't refuse That the luck of the Jews Allowed them a win on our grass After theses games I've concluded that our manager is deluded

[,]

We've lost to rent boys and the Arse Is there a massive gap in class? to us in the know it was bound to show and Nolan should be put out to grass The games now just come thick and fast let's hope we give West Brom a blast

[Saul Bollox]

"It's rare that I'm seen on this thread I'd rather spend more time in bed There dreaming of snatches But I'm up for the matches, And cսnt refs doing in my head. We've lost to rent boys and the Arse Is there a massive gap in class?"

[Joke Whole]

"We're once more down to ten men As Nolan seems ""fit"" again A barrel of lard Would work twice as hard And know to do how, what and when. It's rare that I'm seen on this thread I'd rather spend more time in bed"

[Joke Whole]

"We're once more down to ten men As Nolan seems ""fit"" again A barrel of lard Would work twice as hard And know to do how, what and when. It's rare that I'm seen on this thread I'd rather spend more time in bed"

[Far East Hammer]

"A dive to get a penalty Is shameful, when seen on TV. They might think it funny Or just want then money Remember we're talking Chelsea We're once more down to ten men As Nolan seems ""fit"" again"

[Saul Bollox]

"So Christmas has now come and gone That is one less thing to dwell upon The food though still lingers Home made cold fingers But this year I nicked a big swan. A dive to get a penalty Is shameful, when seen on TV."

[Joke Whole]

"That cսnt Terry makes me so irate, Coming to our fans to celebrate. To me, it's quite clear. That, like some on here The guy has got less that one mate. So Christmas has now come and gone That is one less thing to dwell upon"

[Saul Bollox]

"The Chelsea man again goes to ground In west London this seems to abound. They think it a wheeze, To con the referees, Many of whom seem to be unsound. That cսnt Terry makes me so irate, Coming to our fans to celebrate."

[Helmut Shown]

So Xmas has made us delirious Now Chelsea West Ham this is serious But Nolan's display On Boxing Day one would hardly see as imperious The Chelsea man again goes to ground In west London this seems to abound

[Nuclear Noodle]

"A poster on here Joke Whole, To avoid ending up on the dole, Dressed himself as a slut To get out of the rut And said 'any hole is a goal' So Xmas has made us delirious Now Chelsea West Ham this is serious"

[Saul Bollox]

"Whilst chatting to my old mate Sidney, He mentioned he needs a new kidney But he'd got a transplant From his old maiden aunt, I was told by poet Martin Bidney. A poster on here Joke Whole, To avoid ending up on the dole,"

[Joke Whole]

"I once chocked out a huge log One Christmas night on the bog. With howls of great pain From sphinctactular strain It smelt worse than my mum's dead dog Whilst chatting to my old mate Sidney, He mentioned he needs a new kidney"

[Saul Bollox]

"Some will say a jar of piccalilli Will have an extraordinary effect on your willie Rub it in well, It stings like fucking hell, In fact, I would say, it's quite silly I once chocked out a huge log One Christmas night on the bog."

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

Westfield will be packed in the morning Just as the new day is dawning But stay out of the fridge And head to the Bridge Cos over West Ham we'll all be a fawning Some will say a jar of piccalilli Will have an extraordinary effect on your willie

[wanstead_hammer]

I got up while it was still murkey To put on a big Christmas turkey But after a short talk We said we'd prefer pork And they're now calling us Pinky and Perky. Westfield will be packed in the morning Just as the new day is dawning