New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Helmut Shown]

We're treating the cup with some style And not got this far for a while So who will he chose For this cup tie to lose And return to hoofball so vile So 'Arry's New Year has been blighted By those fuckpigs from Sheffield United

[Joke Whole]

So it's another New Year But same old shit I do fear With one man up front Employed by that cսnt Improvement? For us?? Nowhere near!!! We're treating the cup with some style And not got this far for a while

[Far East Hammer]

"The cup games produced no real thrillers None left now we can call ""giant killers"" Not much interest Perhaps it's best To term them boring time fillers So it's another New Year But same old shit I do fear"

[Joke Whole]

"Will we beat Everton? No! Another game for Sam to throw Just go through the motion And hope that the notion He cares is the one that will grow. The cup games produced no real thrillers None left now we can call ""giant killers"""

[Far East Hammer]

"Now the Blades have embarrassed the R's Will ""Arry be out on his arse? We can only hope Though Tony's a dope Now more concerned with an air crash farce Will we beat Everton? No! Another game for Sam to throw"

[cosmo smallpiece]

"A dirty old Vicar called Roy, Once picked up an underaged boy/ On a cold Christmas Eve And the old man received Great tidings of comfort and joy Now the Blades have embarrassed the R's Will ""Arry be out on his arse?"

[Saul Bollox]

"There once was a lady from Bute who though old was exceedingly cute Despite all the wrinkes, She got plenty winkles, For which she got plenty of loot. A dirty old Vicar called Roy, Once picked up an underaged boy/"

[,]

Tomorrow it all starts again All the sheep packing on to the train there's no one astuter than a city commuter I'm told again and again There once was a lady from Bute who though old was exceedingly cute

[wanstead_hammer]

"In the media the story is hot Is Prince Andrew one of Saville's lot It all happened back then With his 10,000 men And a Jeff'l Fix it badge he got. Tomorrow it all starts again All the sheep packing on to the train"

[Saul Bollox]

"A picture appeared on my telly A girl, with ""stuff"" on her belly, A tattoo of a goose, With blobs of man juice, Covered with choc'late vermicelli. IN the media the story is hot Is Prince Andrew One of Saville's lot?"

[Joke Whole]

"It's amazing, when ageing, the ease, You lose track of these ""celebrities"". In the past they could thrill With talent and skill Today it's just offend or tease. A picture appeared on my telly A girl, with ""stuff"" on her belly"

[Saul Bollox]

"Katie Hopkins has opened her gob Does this twat have a real job? Please someone tell me, Who the fuck is she? (I must be a bit of a knob. It's amazing, when ageing, the ease, You lose track of these ""celebrities""."

[Helmut Shown]

I don't like what I'm going to say is the Cup these days worth FA? Blame the red faced Jock For all of this cock And the cunts who put kids out to play Katie Hopkins has opened her gob Does this twat have a real job?

[,]

She'd had one too many tipples As she pulled out one of her nipples she was followed by stares of the guys in wheelchairs on a night out for raspberry ripples I don't like what I'm going to say is the Cup these days worth FA?

[Helmut Shown]

"J'au passé ces dernier days, Avec poesie en Franglais. You've gone too far Je ne comprend pas This language is suited to gays She'd had one too many tipples As she pulled out one of her nipples"

[Saul Bollox]

"I'm thinking of making a chart Of food & drink that makes you fart Low ratings for silent and high ones for violent, that will rip your anus apart. J'ai passé ces dernier days, Avec poesie en Franglais."

[Joke Whole]

A lady from Chipping Sodbury Who's fanny was really quite furry Was pulled by a man Who's only real plan Was to shag her then fuck off real early I'm thinking of making a chart Of food & drink that makes you fart

[Far East Hammer]

"In a sauna a man getting head, Had a convulsion and dropped down dead. Would seem excitement Lead to expirement But whether he'd come it's not said A lady from Chipping Sodbury Who's fanny was really quite furry"

[Saul Bollox]

"This new year's already a bore Was hoping for something much more West Ham playing shit, I don't like it one bit, So for solace I'll go to a whore. In a sauna a man getting head, Had a convulsion and dropped down dead."

[Joke Whole]

Look at it from whatever angle Our gaffer has caught a tit in the mangle A much better shout Is Andrew caught out For dipping his wick in a spangle. This new year's already a bore Was hoping for something much more

[Hammer and Pickle]

Using an anapestic trimeter and once learnt your ryhmes will be sweeter. All wonderful advice but this formalistic device tends to cramp my style whilst on the shitter Look at it from whatever angle Our gaffer has caught a tit in the mangle

[Hammer and Pickle]

Using an anapestic trimeter and once learnt your ryhmes will be sweeter. All wonderful advice but this formalistic device tends to cramp my style whilst on the shitter Look at it from whatever angle Our gaffer has caught a tit in the mangle

[Saul Bollox]

"There once was a person from Shoreditch What went up and down the Barking Road like an itch. Your syllable use Is shit, to be obtuse, Learn this, you won't make such a glitch. UsING an-ae-PES-tic tri-METer and ONCE learnt your RHYMES will be SWEET-er"

[Hammer and Pickle]

"There was a Franciscan monk Was sat alone on his bunk He had a most unfortunate habit, That did involve a carrot and a rabbit Though either it had nothing to to with spunk. There once was a person from Shoreditch What went up and down the Barking Road like an itch"

[Helmut Shown]

There once was a lady called Nellie Was on Jeremy Kyle on the telly To see in the psyche Of your everyday pikey And slappers with overhanging belly There was a Franciscan monk Was sat alone on his bunk