New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Joke Whole]

"While In the waiting room of my vet's A young bloke seemed to have Tourette's, The words from his gob Played hell with my knob: We went on to rape all the pets. The packet my iPhone came in Has filled up my recycle bin"

[Helmut Shown]

"A guts ache was giving me pain, The it splattered the bog porcelain But it would appear that the water is clear But the rest is a fucking big stain On the way to my old workplace On the billboards was Cameron's face"

[Helmut Shown]

"A guts ache was giving me pain, The it splattered the bog porcelain But it would appear that the water is clear But the rest is a fucking big stain On the way to my old workplace On the billboards was Cameron's face"

[Helmut Shown]

"A guts ache was giving me pain, The it splattered the bog porcelain But it would appear that the water is clear But the rest is a fucking big stain On the way to my old workplace On the billboards was Cameron's face"

[Saul Bollox]

"A man sat watching TV Would not get up for a wee He moved just a bit When he wanted a shit, But it all gushed onto the setee. A guts ache was giving me pain, The it splattered the bog porcelaine"

[Helmut Shown]

While In the waiting room of my vet's A young bloke seemed to have Tourette's the receptionist took the brunt As he called her a cսnt And frightened all the other pets A man sat watching TV Would not get up for a wee

[Saul Bollox]

Some posters on here are euphoric Quoting their Daily Mail rhetoric These right wing loonies Are so easy to please But may as well be speaking Doric. While In the waiting room of my vet's A young bloke seemed to have Tourette's

[Helmut Shown]

I once had a neighbour called Bert He'd brown stains on the tail of his shirt When he got off the loo Diamond patterns in poo With his string vest straining the dirt Some posters on here are euphoric Quoting their Daily Mail rhetoric

[Saul Bollox]

"A man claimed that once in a week At porn he would timidly peek But his wife caught him out, and gave him a clout, Now he just watches Jonathan Creek. I once had a neighbour called Bert He'd brown stains on the tail of his shirt"

[Joke Whole]

An Indian girl from Darjeeling Used a butt plug to increase the feeling But having some doubt She whipped the thing out And the shit-storm reached up to the ceiling. A man claimed that once in a week At porn he would timidly peek

[Helmut Shown]

There was a young girl from Hanoi Taking it from behind gave her joy Until one young man With a devious plan Stuck it in her bum to annoy An Indian girl from Darjeeling Used a butt plug to increase the feeling

[Saul Bollox]

The cup games this weekend were great... So far - but what of OUR fate? We'll win one -zero Our scorer? Sakho Easy to get right when too late. There was a young girl from Hanoi Taking it from behind gave her joy.

[Joke Whole]

WHO posters in Thailand seek joy. Where they hook up with a ladyboy. Piss flaps AND a cock Will come as a shock But not if you know well the Soi The cup games this weekend were great... So far - but what of OUR fate?

[Saul Bollox]

"Sorry fucked that right up There was a young girl Isabel Confused superglue with KY gel, Which she did lend, To a shirtlifter friend. Now's stuck to his bumboy's end belll. WHO posters in Thailand seek joy. Where they hook up with a ladyboy."

[Saul Bollox]

"There was a young girl Isabel Confused superglue with KY gel, Which she did lend, To a shirtlifter friend. Now he's stuck too his bumboy's rear end. WHO posters in Thailand seek joy. Where they hook up with a ladyboy."

[Helmut Shown]

"A tramp crouching down for a crap, Had an unfortunate mishap As the turd left his arse Heading for the green grass It hit his pants with a slap There was a young girl Isabel Confused superglue with KY gel"

[Saul Bollox]

"The sun, now it's risen on high Does mean that it's my time to fly Getting up has no charm So switch off the alarm And try to get some more shut-eye. A tramp crouching down for a crap, Had an unfortunate mishap"

[Joke Whole]

"A peculiar man from Vermont Would only use sans serif font My letters, he'd wail Have no need of a tail Some squiggles are not what I want The sun, now it's risen on high Does mean that it's my time to fly"

[Monk~koknee]

"There was a young lady called Kim Had little spots over her quim Her pure boyfriend Pat Said ""I'm not having that"" So he scoured it clean using Vim A peculiar man from Vermont Would only use sans serif font"

[Helmut Shown]

"There was a boy from Arkansas, Who would not listen to his Maw ""wear a condom when you have sex Or you'll end up with pus down your kecks"" Good advice, that's what mums are for There was a young lady called Kim Had little spots over her quim"

[Saul Bollox]

"Whilst shagging my woman last night She gave me a terrible fright, Whilst pounding her chasm, Into blissful orgasm, She screamed the name of Mr White. There was a boy from Arkansas, Who would not listen to his Maw"

[Saul Bollox]

"Whilst shagging my woman last night She gave me a terrible fright, Whilst pounding her chasm, Into blissful orgasm, She screamed the name of Mr White. There was a boy from Arkansas, Who would not listen to his Maw"

[Joke Whole]

A bloke living on benefits Had a very bad dose of the shits. His very last squirt Was the one that most hurt Because it was packed full of bits. Whilst shagging my woman last night She gave me a terrible fright

[Saul Bollox]

"In the changing rooms down at the gym A young girl sat stroking her quim An old janitor, Then walked in the door So she opened her lips just for him. A bloke living on benefits Had a very bad dose of the shits."

[Saul Bollox]

"In the changing rooms down at the gym A young girl sat stroking her quim An old janitor, Then walked in the door So she opened her lips just for him. A bloke living on benefits Had a very bad dose of the shits."