New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Saul Bollox]

"Done fuck all work so been fired you see Can I blame it all upon my knee? Or, if I am blunt I am one useless cսnt, And think the world revolves round me. I am up at nearly five o'clock Can't sleep and am getting thought block"

[Far East Hammer]

There was a young girl from Bieritz Had the most desirable tits. Ripe for a squeeze When you would please And very good at warming one's mitts Done fuck all work so been fired you see Can I blame it all upon my knee?

[Saul Bollox]

Cunty Mc fuck had the hump He failed to deliver a dump he felt so inflated Being so constipated So he used a vacuum pump. There was a young girl from Bieritz Had the most desirable tits.

[BRANDED]

"The girlfriend of Screaming Lord Sutch, Had a nasty brown stain round her crutch That her dick poped right out Gave a hoarse shout And claimed all the benefits no doubt Cunty Mc fuck had the hump He failed to deliver a dump"

[Saul Bollox]

"A fine, and a slap on the wrist. Is there something in football I've missed? Well expect something shitty From cunts at Bristol City I've had enough, I think I'll get pissed. The girlfriend of Screaming Lord Sutch, Had a nasty brown stain round her crutch"

[Joke Whole]

"When Spurs fans are crammed like sardines In the back of beyond Milton Keynes We'll wallow in space While they accept with good grace We're top and they're London's has-beens. A fine, and a slap on the wrist. Is there something in football I've missed?"

[Helmut Shown]

Those corrupt anti English swine Have given the Hammers a fine With Blatter's intention To augment his pension And once again Hammers malign When Spurs fans are crammed like sardines In the back of beyond Milton Keynes

[Saul Bollox]

Monk~koknee 7:35 Wed Feb 4 WTF?

[Saul Bollox]

There's something I'm starting to fear About the coming Chinese New Year The plice of flied lice Is going up twice. And they're watering the Tiger beer. Those corrupt anti English swine Have given the Hammers a fine

[Far East Hammer]

A wise chinese sage from his boat Said beware the year of the goat Don't look at me! Can you not see? It's what some old duffer has wrote! There's something I'm starting to fear About the coming Chinese New Year

[Monk~koknee]

Stewards Enquiry please. My Beachy Head was in first. Joke Whole is disqualified.

[Monk~koknee]

Stewards Enquiry please. My Beachy Head was in first. Joke Whole is disqualified.

[Joke Whole]

"A tribesman from the Serengetti Said tonight I fancy spaghetti Not goat, cow or beef Shall tarnish my teeth: Tonight I shall dine on some Yeti. A sunbather down on the beach Did suddenly let out a screech"

[les marteaux]

"A young man visited Beachy Head Decided he'd be better off dead So he smoked his last spliff Before jumping the cliff., But he changed his mind so he fled. A tribesman from the Serengetti Said tonight I fancy spaghetti"

[Monk~koknee]

A young man visited Beachy Head Decided he'd be better off dead Had committed a crime By murdering a rhyme But posted a limerick instead A wise chinese sage from his boat Said beware the year of the goat

[Far East Hammer]

A young man fro near Selsey Bill Went out looking for a cheap thrill. But he had some gip Whilst taking a dip 'Twas cold and so caught a bad chill A young man visited Beachy Head Decided he'd be better off dead

[les marteaux]

"Self-proclaimed Godhead David Icke Did stand up and grab at the mic If you don't believe me Then it's hell for all thee, He a mad cսnt whom I do not like A young man fro near Selsey Bill Went out looking for a cheap thrill."

[gph]

Now Valentine's Day is quite near And it seems that my lover is queer Its it so egregiously wrong That I'm glad she takes my shlong Though I know it's through conformist fear? Is New Limerick a NewishTown For those who put Lim'rick verse down

[Far East Hammer]

Now Valentine's Day is quite near And it seems that my lover is queer Well if she's a dyke Perhaps she would like A threesome with her bird my dear Self-proclaimed Godhead David Icke Did stand up and grab at the mic

[Monk~koknee]

To ensure that your cuppa is hot. Make sure that you first warm the pot. And dont be so doazy As to put the tea cosy On your head as you'll just look a twat Now Valentine's Day is quite near And it seems that my lover is queer

[les marteaux]

"He made his excuses and left Left the QPR faithful bereft, No tears from him gush I'll bet now he's flush. At fingers in the till he is deft. To ensure that your cuppa is hot. Make sure that you first warm the pot."

[Helmut Shown]

"A feckless young lady called Jill, Kept forgetting to take her pill Got stuck up the duff By a bit of old rough She wished she'd just sucked his old bill He made his excuses and left Left the QPR faithful bereft"

[les marteaux]

"A poster who claimed ""There's a god!"" Got banned by an atheist mod, It was nor for his creed, That his ban was decreed It's because he's a silly old sod. A feckless young lady called Jill, Kept forgetting to take her pill."

[Joke Whole]

"Daniel Levy that odious chap, Needs to get a fucking good slap. He may have ""connections"" To aid team selections, But socially he is just crap. A poster who claimed ""There's a god!"" Got banned by an atheist mod"

[les marteaux]

"An alien man with a probe Had searched to the ends of the globe Looking for, it seems, The girl of his dreams When he met her he made her disrobe. Daniel Levy that odious chap, Needs to get a fucking good slap"