New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[the thunderer]

"The strikers are down to bare bones The agents have been on their phones The phones are all broke No new players, they tell folk So we're stuck with all the old loans FE Hammer's in Hong Kong And Monk's down in Saigon"

[Monk~koknee]

"I'm wondering after West Brom, Where do Fat Sam's tactics come from? Is it something he read Or a voice in his head That tells him to bore with aplomb The strikers are down to bare bones The agents have been on their phones"

[Far East Hammer]

"A young man from round Golders Green, Going into a brothel was seen Doing something iffy But out in a jiffy Unaware his wife knew where he'd been I'm wondering after West Brom, Where do Fat Sam's tactics come from?"

[Saul Bollox]

"A young lady from the Azores Found Englishmen terrible bores Til she had a fling, With a builder from Tring, Who passed her his genital sores. A young man from round Golders Green, Going into a brothel was seen"

[Helmut Shown]

A young man who hadn't a date Was asked to fill in for his mate But the girl didn't show So home he did go To furiously masturbate A young lady from the Azores Found Englishmen terrible bores

[Joke Whole]

"A kinky contortionist from Stowe Exhibited more than camel toe With minge on display, The whole town had it's way, But I just turned up for the show. A young man who hadn't a date Was asked to fill in for his mate"

[Far East Hammer]

Her breasts were the size of melons They appealed to a whole range of felons When aired for a view The blokes quite a few Demonstrated a range of hard-ons A kinky contortionist from Stowe Exhibited more than camel toe

[the thunderer]

Whilst holidaying in Tobago I developed quite bad lumbago So I visited a nurse in Pigeon Point Who my whole body with tender touch did anoint And sent me running before she got prego. Her breasts were the size of melons They appealed to a whole range of felons

[Far East Hammer]

There was a girl from Martinique. For ten francs at her tits you could peek.. A well fine pair Worth a good share And many would want to critique Whilst holidaying in Tobago I developed quite bad lumbago

[Saul Bollox]

"In a Swiss bank account dump your wonga And they'll prosecute you no longer The tories ain't lax When avoiding their tax, Which helps make their finances stronger. There was a girl from Martinique. For ten francs at her tits you could peek.."

[Helmut Shown]

There was a young man called Rob Who had chancres all over his knob It got pretty iffy When he tried for a stiffy But at most 'twas a lazy lob In a Swiss bank account dump your wonga And they'll prosecute you no longer

[Saul Bollox]

"An exhibitionist from Dundee In public dropped her knickers to pee Whilst in a full crouch She screamed a loud ""Ouch!"" When a large insect bit her fan-ny. There was a young man called Rob Who had chancres all over his knob."

[Far East Hammer]

The girls in the bars on the Soi Are experts at acting quite coy They call you handsome But do act quite mum When asked if they've a baby boy An exhibitionist from Dundee In public dropped her knickers to pee

[Joke Whole]

There was a young girl from Saigon Walked around with no knickers on. A breeze from the east Took care of her yeast Infection - it quickly was gone The girls in the bars on the Soi Are experts at acting quite coy

[Saul Bollox]

"When he speaks, that Harry Kane Is there something wrong with his brain? This despicable yid*, Must be some kind of flid, Or some such, I would ascertain, * In this context pertaining to Tottenham Hotspur. There was a young girl from Saigon Walked around with no knickers on."

[Helmut Shown]

"A home win would have been prized But those odious cunts equalised It can only be worse With our home record curse By those that are circumcised When he speaks, that Harry Kane Is there something wrong with his brain?"

[joe blob]

Sp odious

[joe blob]

Sp odious

[joe blob]

"Chancellor Angela Merkel Was caught faking a crop circle, Thank you Far East This lim'ricks a beast But a rhyme? I can think of ferk all. A home win would have been prized But those osious cunts equalised."

[joe blob]

"Chancellor Angela Merkel Was caught faking a crop circle, Thank you Far East This lim'ricks a beast But a rhyme? I can think of ferk all. A home win would have been prized But those osious cunts equalised."

[joe blob]

"Chancellor Angela Merkel Was caught faking a crop circle, Thank you Far East This lim'ricks a beast But a rhyme? I can think of ferk all. A home win would have been prized But those osious cunts equalised."

[Far East Hammer]

A Martian had travelled Earth For a women as partner in birth He found one in Carlisle And so Jeremy Kyle Interviewed her with great mirth Chancellor Angela Merkel Was caught faking a crop circle

[Monk~koknee]

A young farmer from Cumberland Behind a sheep would often stand He’d whip out his sausage Engaged in some noshage Which I think was a tad underhand A Martian had travelled Earth For a women as partner in birth

[Far East Hammer]

I saw Darren Fletcher today And really I have got to say He was looking so low Having just stubbed his toe And then his leg fell clean away A young farmer from Cumberland Behind a sheep would often stand

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

"My Dad told me, and he was right, Rugby league and union are both shite. But I like the scrums With all those nice bums Especially when the shorts are so tight I saw Darren Fletcher today And really I have got to say"