New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Saul Bollox]

"I've come to an obvious conclusion We've added fuel to their delusion, But if I am blunt That Levy's a cսnt I'd love to give him a contusion. At the helm of starship Enterprise Jean Luc could not believe his eyes"

[Helmut Shown]

Those at Archway Sheet Metal Works Lost their case to those foreskinless berks Now the arsonist spies (Levy's private eyes) Will get a big bonus and perks I've come to an obvious conclusion We've added fuel to their delusion

[Helmut Shown]

Those at Archway Sheet Metal Works Lost their case to those foreskinless berks Now the arsonist spies (Levy's private eyes) Will get a big bonus and perks I've come to an obvious conclusion We've added fuel to their delusion

[Saul Bollox]

What the fuck can I even say Dodgy penalty yesterday. A foul? was it fuck It's just them cunts luck I'm seething still even today. Those at Archway Sheet Metal Works Lost their case to those foreskinless berks

[Far East Hammer]

His tactics are out of the Ark Shouldn't be at Upton Park Claims sophistication Thinks himself perfection Obviously thinks it a lark What the fuck can I even say Dodgy penalty yesterday

[Helmut Shown]

There was a young girl called Sonia Whose fanny smelled of ammonia. Rough sex on the Heath Not wearing a sheath Caused infection after he'd bone ya His tactics are out of the Ark Shouldn't be at Upton Park

[joe blob]

"A folk singer, finger in ear Was crooning about yesteryear Through a smoky haze Sang of the happy days When you could do time for being queer. There was a young girl called Sonia Whose fanny smelled of ammonia."

[Joke Whole]

"There was a young man named Rex Who wanted to try anal sex But with all his might Could not get it right... Which left him with angst, rage and vex. A folk singer, finger in ear Was crooning about yesteryear"

[les marteaux]

"A fat Archeologist from Cheam, One Friday had a terrible dream, Philip Arrhidaeus* Was shagging his A-nus Which he'd lubricated with cold cream. * A Pharoah There was a young man named Rex Who wanted to try anal sex"

[wanstead_hammer]

"A young girl, so eager to please, Wore little 'tween waist and her knees, And persuaded two mates, To join Islamic State, And go practice the birds and the bees. A fat Archeologist from Cheam, One Friday had a terrible dream,"

[Joke Whole]

"Sam did ponder whilst eating a fish head, ""Do tippy-tappy? I'd rather be dead!"" But my contract is due, And my personal view, Does not match the words that I said. A young girl, so eager to please, Wore little 'tween waist and her knees"

[Far East Hammer]

"There once was an old boy from Tring, Who had nasty green sores on his thing. All swollen and raw Couldn't take any more And so of pain he'd often sing Sam did ponder whilst eating a fish head, ""Do tippy-tappy? I'd rather be dead!"""

[Saul Bollox]

"There was a young man called Frank One night he pulled an old skank Rectal penetration He thought a sensation, 'Til she farted and that really stank. There once was an old boy from Tring, Who had nasty green sores on his thing."

[Helmut Shown]

"My internet link is dead slow I cannot do downloads, you know try to download some porn without getting the horn an egg timer interrupting the flow There was a young man called Frank One night he pulled an old skank"

[Joke Whole]

"A young lad from Bangalore, Saved up for weeks for a whore To his disappointment He then needed ointment The slapper gave him a big sore. My internet link is dead slow I cannot do downloads, you know."

[Saul Bollox]

"there was a dumb farmer called bert who like to plough fields in a skirt, Underneath for his scanties He wore frilly panties, He had lost all the rest on a ""cert"". A young lad from Bangalore, Saved up for weeks for a whore"

[andyc]

"A young lady from near new Delhi, Who liked to watch porn on the tele she played with her clit covered her nipples with shit and moaned when my old bill was smelly there was a dumb farmer called bert who like to plough fields in a skirt"

[Saul Bollox]

"There was a young man from Dacca Who coated his penis with lacquer, He travelled many lands, Exposing his glans, And was sponsored by a wealthy backer. A young lady from near new Delhi, Who liked to watch porn on the tele"

[Helmut Shown]

"There was a young man from Darjeeling, Who decided to repaint his ceiling It couldn't be sadder When he fell from the ladder Below his waist there's no feeling There was a young man from Dacca Who coated his penis with lacquer"

[Saul Bollox]

"There was a young man from Kolkata Went out Friday night on the batter Created a fuss Raped a girl on a bus And thought that it just didn't matter. There was a young man from Darjeeling, Who decided to repaint his ceiling"

[Helmut Shown]

In Thiruvananthapuram In the holy month of Ramadan A picture was taken Of him eating bacon Which rather upset the Imam There was a young man from Kolkata Went out Friday night on the batter

[Saul Bollox]

"There was a young girl from Lahore Whose morals were rotten to the core Her sari dropped fast For the Harijan caste Whom she allowed ""Through her backdoor"". In Thiruvananthapuram In the holy month of Ramadan"

[Helmut Shown]

A priest whilst visiting Darwin Did commit a cardinal sin As the choirboy knelt down He opened his gown Peeling back his fore-skin There was a young girl from Lahore Whose morals were rotten to the core

[Helmut Shown]

A priest whilst visiting Darwin Did commit a cardinal sin As the choirboy knelt down He opened his gown Peeling back his fore-skin There was a young girl from Lahore Whose morals were rotten to the core

[Far East Hammer]

FE Hammer's in Hong Kong And Monk's down in Saigon Claret's in Bangkok But Sam's a right cock Would this make a terrace song!? A priest whilst visiting Darwin Did commit a cardinal sin